


The Void

by LibertyLady17



Series: Beautiful and Broken [2]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Awkward Sexual Situations, Curses, Drama & Romance, Dreams and Nightmares, Explicit Language, F/M, Girls with Guns, Guns, Hurt/Comfort, Original Character Death(s), Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Politics, Sexual Tension, Slurs, Strong Female Characters, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2019-11-15 22:18:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 59,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibertyLady17/pseuds/LibertyLady17
Summary: A lot can change in just two years’ time, especially when a dead man’s file of secrets and lies is thrown into the mix. For two years, Tommy threw himself into his work; while Rebecca suffered through hell. Fed up with living in the ever expanding void, Rebecca will risk it all in pursuit of the truth and her freedom. Of course, Churchill comes to collect his favor at the most inconvenient time. Tommy will be pushed to his limit as he struggles to balance his personal and professional life. After all, it’s hard to salvage one’s marriage with mad Russians and a violent priest in the mix.**Highly suggest reading the first story in the series before starting this one.





	1. Void

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Note: Any recognizable characters or themes are the property of Steve Knight and BBC. No profit is made from this work.

The Void  
Fall 1922

_The dark haired woman made her way down Watery Lane. Dressed in a crisp, cream dress; she stood out against the blackened row houses as she passed. The purity of her color choice set her apart from the others, not that anyone would have considered her a true part of the community. Her transition into life in Small Heath, Birmingham could only be described as a swinging pendulum. At first, she was a woman of insignificance, practically invisible. In the end, she meant everything. The funny thing about a swinging pendulum is that they keep on swinging until they lose all momentum. Despite the turmoil in her heart, she held her head high because of the gold wedding band on her left hand. The delicate band not only ensured her son’s legitimacy; but it cemented her place in the Shelby family forever. It was her position in the Shelby family that made people want to stop and stare when she passed by. Those prying eyes used to unsettle the poor girl. Now she barely noticed their eyes as she moved about her business. When her home was within her sight the most odd sensation overcame her. It felt as if her feet had stopped moving. She looked down to find that her feet were in fact moving, but she failed to reach her safe heaven. Surely this was a cruel mind trick. Her heart began to race as her desperation grew. Behind her, she could hear the sound of police whistles as officers quickly closed in. Two formidable men in black uniform gruffly took her by the arms and threw her into the brick wall. Unable to brace herself, she collided with the wall with extreme force. A loud cracking noise signaled her nose breaking. She struggled to pull away as the tears stung her eyes. One of the officers pressed her into the dirty surface, his fingers tangling in her dark brown hair. The weight of him was enough to break her cheekbone and bringing a terribly cry from her lips. Once her hands were bound behind her back the officers jerked her back onto the street. The commotion, and the woman involved, brought everyone into the streets. Streams of blood mixed with her salty tears as they trickled down her porcelain face. Her deep blue eyes frantically scanned the growing crowds. Outside of number 6 Watery Lane stood Arthur and John; both wearing rather unpleasant scowls. She looked away, her shame too great to face any of them now. The officers continued to prod her down the street with their batons. Her eyes finally found the one she sought, James. On the step of number 18 was Polly, the baby boy tucked securely in her arms. Polly’s eyes were dark with disapproval and disappointment. Behind the matriarch, Tommy emerged in the doorway and relaxed his forearm on the doorframe. His indifference was enough to drown her in a sea of shame and despair. As the images of Watery Lane faded into the background, she was shrouded in darkness. She was in the void. The silence and lack of sight was a frightening combination. But she could feel the rope tighten around her neck. It scratched terribly against her skin, and the tightness of the rope made it increasingly hard for her to breath. She turned to make a final plea, to beg for mercy and her freedom. Her teary deep blue eyes widened at the sight of her executioner. Thomas Shelby’s unmistakable icy blue eyes reflected straight back at her. She closed her gaping mouth and looked up to the heavens. In the void there was just the two of them. In the void there would be no more hope, no more mercy, and no reprieve. Only death and darkness. ___

Rebecca shot upright with a gasp and scrambled for the gun on her bedside table. Frantically, her deep blue eyes searched the dark void of her bedroom; her finger ready on the trigger. Failing to find any immediate danger to herself, she relaxed back into her pillow and she brought a hand to her chest. After a few deep breaths her chest didn’t feel quite as tight with panic; but the relief was short lived. _James. _Throwing the blankets to the side, she ran for the door with her gun ready. She hiked her floor-length nightgown up to her knees as she tore down the hallway. The luscious long red carpet was frustratingly slippery beneath her bare feet. When she reached the last door at the end of the hall, the frantic mother threw the door open, not caring in the slightest if the sound would wake her son. The only rational thought she could think was to ensure her son was safe. The usually pristine white nursery was dark now. The only light came from the full moon that was hung high in the night sky. With bated breath, Rebecca made her way toward the crib. To her relief, the baby boy was fast asleep, and not even his mother’s racket managed to wake him. Gently she reached down to smooth his soft brown locks off his forehead. A smile spread across her face as the curly wisps bounced as her fingers passed. She heard the floor creak behind her, which set her instantly on edge. Swiftly, she spun around and aimed her gun at the intruder. Her index finger shook as she hesitated for a second. A frustrated sigh filled the void between them with tension as she lowered the gun to her side. The sight of Tommy in his boxers and his own gun at the ready did nothing to ease the pain and panic that squeezed at her heart.__

____

____

“The fuck’s the matter?” Tommy asked, his brow creased with confusion. 

____“It’s nothing. I’m sorry that I woke you.” Rebecca replied tightly. The brunette turned back to face her son and hoped that her voice hadn’t betrayed her._ _ _ _

____“That sounded like the running of the fucking Derby down the hallway. It wasn’t nothing.” Tommy replied, careful to balance his concern with his dissent. She squeezed her eyes shut and clutched the crib railing._ _ _ _

____“I said I was sorry. Let us leave it at that, Thomas.” Rebecca bit back, wishing that he would just leave. Leave her alone. That was what he wanted after all. Unbeknownst to her, Tommy’s back tensed as she harshly spat out his name. Her constant resentment confused him. Why was she so harsh with him, even when he tried to care? “He’ll be up early. You best get back to bed.” She said over her shoulder. Tommy nodded even though his wife refused to look at him. She barely looked at him these days, and when she did it was from a safe distance._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, I think I’ll take him to see the horses.” Tommy replied._ _ _ _

____“I’m sure he will love it.” Rebecca assured him. Her resolve was beginning to fade, which further frustrated the exhausted woman._ _ _ _

____“Well, goodnight.” Tommy said. He paused for a moment and waited for some sort of response, but was left wanting. When the door closed, Rebecca bowed her head and let a single tear fall from the corner of her eye. Over a year had passed, but the pain persisted. The divide between the pair was as vast as the ocean, and there was no sign of either making amends. How dare he barge in like he cared, she thought to herself? How dare he stand there dressed in practically nothing like it was alright to do so? Wiping the tear aside, she bent over the railing to kiss James’s head. The lingering sweet scent of his bath soap brought a smile to her face. Now assured of her son’s safety, she carefully closed the nursery door before returning to her room at the opposite end of the hall. On her way back, she couldn’t help but notice that Tommy’s door was open just enough for her to peer inside. She shouldn’t have looked; it would be invading his privacy. Neither one had said it outright during any negotiations, but it was agreed that they should respect one another’s privacy. But there she was, already lingering. Her eyes traveling the frame of the man she would never touch again. She spotted Tommy positioned in front of the large window behind his bed. He looked so much like a soldier, the way he tucked one arm behind his back, while the other slowly brought a cigarette back and forth to his lips. She couldn’t help but think that moonlight was the best light in which to view him in. In a strange way, it comforted Rebecca to know that little had changed about her estranged husband. However, she was extremely grateful that the same couldn’t be said about herself. The true surprise came as her eyes drifted to the bed. The exquisite silk sheets appeared to be half slept in. She couldn’t help but think it strange that with such a large bed, that Tommy would choose to occupy such a small section of it? On the far side table, there was a gold frame with a photograph of the pair. Rebecca had to wonder if it was the only copy. There had scarcely been any chance for photographs. The table on Tommy’s side of the bed contained a crystal ashtray, an abandoned whiskey tumbler, and the revolver that he had pointed at her just a few minutes ago. Her blue eyes explored his frame one last time before she retreated._ _ _ _

When Rebecca returned to her room sleep was elusive. It was no surprise to her. Nightmares routinely prevented her tired eyes from closing; or if she was lucky enough to fall asleep, one would tear her away from her rest. The lack of sleep had taxed her exhausted mind and broken heart over the past year. When James woke every two to three hours during the night, it was oddly easier. Many nights there was scarcely enough time for her to close her eyes between feedings. When she did finally rest her body was beyond the point of exhaustion. Only then would her mind lack the strength to torture her. She spent months with a generally exhausted expression on her face, not that anyone dared to point it out to her. When James was barely 8 months old, Mary found Rebecca one morning collapsed on the bathroom floor. Of course Rebecca brushed Mary off, but that did not dissuade the older woman for telephoning Tommy at the office and for a doctor. When the doctor discovered that she bled for a full two months after delivering James, he prescribed iron tablets to bring the pink back to her cheeks. However, it was the suggestion the older gentleman gave Tommy on his way out that bothered Rebecca most. _‘Leave her alone for a while. She’s far too weak to have more children, at least right now. Maybe in six months or a year.’ _Tommy’s stoic façade didn’t waver at the suggestion, but Rebecca audibly scoffed as she turned over and stared out the window. Afterwards Tommy suggested that she rely on the nanny more so that the dark circles under her deep blue eyes would fade. That day she told the both of them to go to hell numerous times under her breath. Neither one would have understood the stress that taxed her mind. She never spoke of the nightmares, not to anyone. Over time she slowly discovered her own way of coping. It would hold the pain, disappointment, and fear at bay. It was worth it, even if the relief only lasted for a few minutes or an hour.__

____

____

______ _ _ _ _

______June 1923_ _ _ _ _ _

______Rebecca rose from her bed just after five o’clock on that Sunday morning. It had been agonizingly boring to lay there for two hours, waiting for it to be a suitable hour to wake the house. As soon as the morning light kissed the horizon, she kicked back the covers and moved to her wardrobe to dress. She selected a short sleeved blouse and a midcalf skirt for her morning activity. Moving to the dressing table, she quickly pulled her hair into a simple bun and skipped applying any makeup. The beauty of her early Sunday morning activities was that no one cared about her appearance. No one was around to care that she looked less than a lady. Except for Matthew, and he certainly didn’t count. Not wishing to delay the morning any further, she took up her old boots and made her way down the stairs. She paused for a moment and sat down on the back steps to lace up the old boots that she kept specifically for her weekly outings. The young blonde boy stood a ways off on the lawn, the rifle resting comfortably on his shoulder. Six months ago, Matthew suddenly become her Sunday morning partner after his father was injured in a machine accident. She could have easily dismissed the boy, claiming he was too young, but she did not want to see the family end up in the poor house on account of her. Matthew was a hard working boy and quickly proved his competence with gun maintenance. Most importantly, he never asked questions._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Good morning, Matthew.” Rebecca called to the boy as she hurried across the grass to meet him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Good morning, Mrs. Shelby! Fine morning it is.” He replied happily. Rebecca smiled at the youngster before turning her eyes up to the sky._ _ _ _ _ _

______“A bit cool, but I doubt it will last long.” She replied. Matthew handed over the gun, but held onto the leather satchel that contained enough ammunition to keep Rebecca entertained for hours. The pair walked through the woods in silence and listened to the tall grass rustle in the summer breeze. The occasional snapping twig punctuated their trek deep into the woods. Rebecca relished the serene soundtrack; it was a welcomed reprieve from the sounds of her busy home. Most of all she enjoyed the sound of birds as they soared about in the trees high above. In her opinion, they were the only animal that was truly free to come and go as they pleased. If only she had wings, she thought, then she could fly far away from this place._ _ _ _ _ _

When they arrived, Matthew hurried to set up the targets. He would run back and forth to set them up, but beyond that he did very little. Rebecca preferred to manage everything else on her own. _‘To keep her skill up’ _was what she told him. If he had questions about how or why she was comfortable with the rifle, he certainly did not voice them out loud. It was the mid-morning when the pair made their way back to the gigantic fortress that was the Shelby home. When they stepped out of the tall grass, Rebecca looked at her watch. Realizing the time, they parted ways, Rebecca uttering a brief goodbye over her shoulder. If she was quick about it, she would still have time to take a bath before taking James from Tommy. Her worn out boots clomped loudly against the dark wood floors in the foyer. Any other Sunday, it would have been nothing more than an annoyance to the staff, but not today. It would be a seemingly simple mistake that she would soon come regret.__

“Rebecca!” Arthur called. _Fuck. _Rebecca stilled with one foot on the first step. She considered continuing up the stairs, ignoring his call; but she had already waited too long. She would have to at least say hello. Reluctantly, she crossed the foyer and entered the dining room. To her horror, the entire Shelby family sat at the long table. The remnants of a full breakfast meal spread out along the center of the table. This was worse, far worse, than anything she could have imagined.__

____

__

__________“Hello… everyone.” She greeted the room. Her guard quickly rising in response to the many harsh and questioning eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Did we miss an invitation for a hunt, Tom?” Arthur inquired as he motioned to the gun that was casually resting on her shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“No. I didn’t send one.” Tommy snapped, his blue eyes remaining steady on his wife. He was obviously relaxed from the way he sat in his chair, but his eyes told a different story. Rebecca lowered the gun from her shoulder in hopes that Tommy wouldn’t reprimand her in front of everyone. That would be icing on the cake._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’m afraid you would have found my Sunday morning exercise rather boring, Arthur. If you must know, I wasn’t out hunting, I do it to keep my skills up.” Rebecca replied honestly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“And what do you have to keep your skills up for? You going to war? I thought the Irish stopped fighting amongst themselves months ago.” Polly inquired sarcastically. Disdain dripped from every word as she latched her disapproving dark gaze on Rebecca. She hated to admit it, but Polly’s gaze had a unique way of unsettling her. It was no secret that Polly and Rebecca’s friendship had soured amidst the lies; but the justification for the deep depths of Polly’s hatred remained a mystery to Rebecca. Determined not to appear weak in her own home, Rebecca smiled and scoffed at Polly’s jab._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Too bad the war’s over. That would have been quite the headline, ‘Wife of Notorious Birmingham Gangster, Thomas Shelby, Joins the Fight for Irish Independence.” Rebecca shot back sharply. Her eyes daring Polly to fire off another insult._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Anything to get rid of you suits me just fine!” Polly snapped._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Fuck you!” Rebecca fired back. The pair maintained tense, unwavering eye contact until Rebecca spotted the flash of dark color out of the corner of her eye._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Enough! Enough, both of you!” Tommy snapped as he stood to his feet. His voice was loud and authoritative, commanding absolute obedience from the two bickering women. His icy blue gaze shifted slowly between the two women. “Rebecca, if you don’t mind. We have business to attend to.” Tommy said as he motioned to the door. His sharp blue eyes offered no apology for dismissing her so rudely. Rebecca turned and made her way swiftly up the stairs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“No wonder you didn’t invite her, Tom. What a fucking blood bath that’d be!” John chuckled from his seat_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’d like to be the one taking bets on that fight. Whatcha say the odds would be, John boy?” Arthur said. A boisterous laugh and cheeky smile emerged from underneath Arthur’s thick mustache. John shook his head and brought the glass back to his lips._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Fucking shut up! All of you.” Tommy hissed, his icy glare silencing the room. The situation was a precarious one, emotionally charged and involving numerous women._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I think she should come.” Ada piped up from her seat at the far end of the table. Everyone’s gaze shifted towards her, but it was Polly’s gaze that she felt the most. Polly laughed, the cynicism oozing from her pores._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Fucking, what?” Polly asked sharply. Ada didn’t flinch at Polly’s harsh words. The pair faced off numerous times when Ada was younger. They were experts at pushing one another’s buttons._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You heard me Pol, Rebecca deserves to be there. Despite the constant bullshit the pair of you put her through, she always carries on like nothing ever happened when she needs to. This is a huge step for this family, a legitimate step, for once! So after everything, give me one reason why she doesn’t deserve to be there?” Ada protested._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Deserve is a strong word, Ada.” Polly interrupted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I don’t think so!” Ada fired back as she stood to her feet. Ada quickly checked her emotion. She wanted to appear strong, but not irrational. It was a difficult line to walk, especially in the Shelby family. “You know what, I’m tired of this constant back and forth! Pol, like it or not, Rebecca is a Shelby. It’s hard enough to be a woman in this family. She doesn’t need you making it any worse. Besides, even if Tommy had the balls to finally divorce her, she will always be James’s mother. We all know you hate her, but do you have to take a jab at her every chance you get? It’s fucking exhausting.” Ada shot back, her frustration bubbling up into her voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Right!” Arthur agreed as he raised his glass._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’ll never forgive that girl. Never!” Polly hissed. “If Tommy won’t get rid of her, I can think of more than a few quick ways.” Polly muttered as she lit another cigarette._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Fucking hell! Would you all shut up for five fucking minutes?” Tommy bellowed as he slammed his fists on the table. The china rattled as a tidal wave of Tommy’s anger traveled the length of the table. Ada should have sat down and shut her mouth. But she knew. She had seen Rebecca cry and curse when Tommy would speak harshly. She was the only one who knew what was about to happen and why._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Either you divorce her or forgive her, Tommy. No one deserves this level of purgatory.” Ada said before she turned and left the room. Tommy watched Ada leave, catching that she moved toward the stairs rather than the front door. He would have to speak to her about the outburst before she left, but for now he desperately needed to regain control of the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Unless anyone has any further objections, let us continue with our business.” Tommy demanded more than asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Rebecca heard a knock on her bedroom door before Ada entered. She was furious, Rebecca could tell by the way she was clutching her hands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“He’s a fucking asshole and a coward! I don’t know how you manage it. I would have strangled him in his sleep months ago!” Ada rambled, still blind with rage. Rebecca watched Ada pace back and forth from her position in front of the mirror. She continued fastening the buttons on her blouse, listening to Ada rant about how unfair it was being a woman. With her clothing in place, Rebecca turned to finally calm Ada._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Ada!” Rebecca said as she took her by the shoulders and stopped her from pacing. “Let it go. Tommy can say whatever the fuck he wants. It’s not going to matter this time next week.” Rebecca reminded her sister in law, and dearest friend. Ada let out a long sigh and sobered at Rebecca’s words._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I still don’t like this plan.” Ada said as Rebecca returned to her dressing table. She quickly fastened the gold locket around her neck, her blue eyes flashing to meet Ada’s in the mirror._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I don’t particularly like it either. The idea of leaving James… it breaks my heart.” Rebecca admitted as she moved to sit on the bed. She patted the spot next to her, and Ada slowly sat down beside her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You’re absolutely sure that there isn’t another option?” Ada asked. It was a question Rebecca had asked herself a thousand times over in the past six months._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh Ada, of course I wish there was another option. I just can’t seem to find one.” Rebecca admitted. The two sat in silence; the weight of what was about to transpire growing heavier with every passing minute. Their thoughts were interrupted by another knock on the door. This time it was James and his nanny, the bouncing two year old darted into his mother’s bedroom._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Mama!” He cheered happily. Rebecca smiled as the curly haired boy threw himself into her lap._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Hello, my sweet boy. Did you have a good morning with your father?” Rebecca asked as she hoisted him up into her lap. His bright blue eyes lit up at the mention of his father. Rebecca had been careful never to speak ill of Tommy in front of James. There would come a day, when he was older, when he would realize who his father was. A proud man, soldier, gangster, and business man. That reality would change the way James viewed his father, and Rebecca saw no reason to ruin it any sooner than necessary._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yes!” James proudly reported to his mother._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Since I didn’t get to see them, why don’t you go get your toy horses from your room? You can tell me all about it.” Rebecca suggested. James nodded his head and jumped off her lap. His nanny hurrying out of the room in pursuit of the speedy toddler._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Say you’ll reconsider.” Ada plead. Rebecca sighed, her deep blue eyes shifting to meet Ada’s. They were both mother’s, therefore they understood the intense connection between mother and child._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Promise me that you will look after him for me. I worry how this will effect Tommy. There is a good chance he’ll spiral out of control, and I don’t want James to see any of it. Please Ada, promise me!” Rebecca begged. Ada nodded her head; eyes and face as solemn as her promise._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Rebecca and James spent their afternoon together, like it was any other Sunday. Reading books, playing with the little toy cars and horses Tommy gave him last Christmas. James’s laughter always renewed Rebecca’s weary soul and lifted her heavy heart. It would be the last Sunday they would spend together for a very long time, perhaps ever. But Rebecca refused to think about the latter. Every time she thought about it tears would fall without restraint, and she couldn’t cry now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________After dinner, Rebecca took James’s little hand as she led him down the hallway towards Tommy’s office. It was the song and dance they did every night that Tommy was home since James could walk. Rebecca would knock and wait for Tommy to respond before opening the door. All the while, James would be dancing with excitement and anticipation. As soon as Rebecca opened the door, James hurried toward his father. Tommy rose from behind his desk with a warm smile. His sleeves were rolled up, and his black leather gun holster was easily visible now without his suit jacket on. Tommy discarded his cigarette in the ashtray and knelt to pick up his bouncing son._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Is it time for you to go to bed already?” Tommy inquired, his voice light and playful now. Rebecca wanted to smile, but the action threatened to bring the tears. It was not the time, nor the place for them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yes.” James admitted with a pout. Tommy chuckled as he turned his eyes to Rebecca. He couldn’t help but think that she looked different somehow. It was something in the air that surrounded her, and it unsettled him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Did you have a good day with mama?” Tommy asked, his gaze shifting back to his son._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yes! Can we go to see the horses tomorrow?” James asked. Tommy chuckled and smiled proudly at his son’s enthusiasm for horses. No doubt, there was Gypsy blood coursing through the boy’s veins._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“No, not tomorrow. Maybe next Sunday, if you are a very good boy.” Tommy promised. “Goodnight. Sleep well.” Tommy said as he kissed him on the forehead._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I love you daddy.” James said. Those sweet words tugged on Tommy’s lips, and a wide smile emerged._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I love you too.” Tommy said. He gave his son a final hug goodnight before placing him back on his feet. The boy quickly returned to his mother, and clung to her legs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Do you love mama too?” James inquired, his bright blue eyes staring up at his father. The boy was perfectly ignorant to the weight of that question. Tommy’s eyes moved from his son to his wife, who suddenly looked as if she would burst into tears at any moment. Clearing his throat, Tommy turned his attention to James._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yes.” Tommy replied carefully._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Come along, James. Your father has lots of important work to do.” Rebecca said. She quickly scooped the toddler into her arms and retreated out of the office. Tommy sighed as he looked up at the ceiling. He returned to his work, but ended up spending the subsequent hours debating whether or not he should speak to Rebecca. He opened his gold pocket watch as he took a final drag from his cigarette. His heart began to beat faster in his chest as he ascended the stairs and made his way down the long corridor. Lifting his hand to knock, he hesitated. It was well past midnight, surely she would be asleep. He knocked anyways and waited for a response. Silence. Was she asleep or simply ignoring him? He knocked once more before slowly opening the door. The room was dimly lit. The lamp beside her bed was on, and there was a book left open on the bed. Perhaps she was in James’s room? He still woke in the middle of the night from time to time, but it was increasingly rare. Tommy took the opportunity to survey her room. It was neat, and not as lavishly decorated as he expected. His eyes focused in on the light pouring from underneath the bathroom door. _Fuck. _He never should have opened the door and let himself in like he had any right. He turned to leave but stopped when she called his name.__

 _ _“Tommy.” She called, her voice confident and calm. Tommy turned and stood stock still as he watched her tighten the satin robe around her waist. Her deep blue eyes remained steady on his, despite the awkward tension that was quickly filling the room. He was in her bedroom without her permission. He was willing to bet that she was naked under that robe, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had no right to be near her. In an attempt to recover the conversation, he cleared his throat and squared his shoulders._ _

____________“I knocked.” He said. Instantly, he wanted to kick himself for how idiotic that sounded. He watched her wet hair slowly drip down and leave damp spots on the front of her robe. Once again, his mind drifted to the thought of her being scarcely clothed, or completely naked under that robe. The way the satin curved over her breasts and hips left little work for Tommy’s imagination. The thought of her body aroused Tommy, which only made the conversation more difficult._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Alright. What is it?” Rebecca asked carefully. She wasn’t irritated; he could have easily recognized that particular tone. This was something entirely different. She was uncomfortable. Tommy watched her cross her arms across her chest. He remembered the last time he barged into her bedroom late at night. It was after the first incident with Kimber at the Garrison. She was afraid, and had run through the rain. Her undergarments were see through, and Tommy had looked at her openly; embarrassing her terribly. “Thomas! Have you come just to stare at me in my unmentionables, or is there something you need to say?” She asked. The authority in her voice caught Tommy off guard. His eyes snapped up quickly to meet her questioning gaze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What is on your diary for this upcoming Saturday?” Tommy asked, hoping to make a swift recovery of their crumbling conversation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’ll be at home with James. Where fucking else would I be?” Rebecca replied. The last bit had come out more harsh than she meant it to, but the proximity of Tommy and his wandering eyes left her uncomfortable._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Would you consider joining me for dinner?” He asked. Rebecca stared back at him, her heart thumping loudly up into her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Is it for business?” Rebecca inquired._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yes. We are opening two more factories next month. Business is good. There is plenty of money to go around. I thought this would be a good opportunity to announce which charity you wish the Shelby Company Limited to support in future.” Tommy replied. Rebecca starred at him with wide, confused eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Me? Tommy, I’m not welcome at the fucking dinner table with your family! What business do I have representing them?” Rebecca shot back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You’re my wife.” Tommy replied. It hurt him to say it, because deep down he knew it was a lie. Even in the worst of circumstances, husbands and wives would continue to sleep in the same bed and give into the lust that brought forth more children. Over the past two years, he had put his head down and poured all efforts into his work. When he looked at her now, he was left wondering when she had changed? If he had tried just a little bit harder, or not been afraid of getting hurt again; could he have forgiven her already? It pained him to face the facts. The fact was that the beautiful dark haired woman who had captured his heart, her mind and body were but a mystery to him now. Tommy’s words may have been a bitter pill for him to swallow, but Rebecca practically choked on them. She tipped her head back and let out a brief, bitter laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You and I both know that I barely deserve that title anymore.” Rebecca shot back, her blue eyes turning dark as her bitter anger bubbled to the surface._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Will you come or not, Rebecca?” Tommy asked. Without realizing, he held his breath as he awaited her answer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Alright, Tommy. Next Saturday then.” Rebecca agreed and Tommy sighed, relieved._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Good.” Tommy replied with a small nod. The room fell into the silent void once again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Is that all?” Rebecca asked after a painfully long silence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yes, it is. Goodnight.” Tommy said as he moved toward the door. He opened the door and turned back, sensing her proximity. She had followed him to the door. He had to wonder, why? Did he anger her so much that she would throw him out?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Goodnight, Tommy.” Rebecca said. Her tone was more formal and guarded than he had hoped for. She closed the door softly behind him. The flick of the lock did not miss Tommy’s ears. He closed his eyes, as he fought off his own shame. Rebecca leaned her back against the door and slumped to the floor. She managed to hold her tears in for as long as she could. She only hoped that a reasonable length of time had passed for Tommy to distance himself. But he decided to linger. He hesitated for a moment, and swiftly the void swallowed him whole. He stopped and listened for the first time in many years. He stood perfectly still on the opposite side of her bedroom door, and listened to the muffled sound of his wife sobbing. She had no idea that her cries stirred something within him that night. She poured out her soul and he listened._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so thrilled to share this journey with you all. It is going to be such an adventure. Please share your thoughts in the comments below.


	2. Saturday

Saturday

The week came and went with distressing speed for Rebecca. She spent the long summer days with James; playing in the yard and reading long, drawn-out story books. Although spending time with James was a priority for Rebecca, she could not neglect the last minute details for her trip. When Tommy went to the office on Tuesday morning, she seized the chance to slip in after Mary finished tidying up. It took a great deal of time for her to comb through the various compartments in Tommy’s desk, especially the hidden features only he was supposed to know about. When Rebecca succeeded in opened one of the secret compartment, she was shocked to discover the two sets of identification papers for herself. In her left hand was Rebecca Elizabeth Shelby, nee O’Neill, and in the right Mary Rebecca Elizabeth Shelby, nee O’Neill. Her eyes focused in on the gigantic red word that were stamped across the first set of papers. _VOID. _Rebecca’s heart sunk. She couldn’t pretend, or ignore the reality of her situation. There are two forms of a lie: the one you tell to yourself to make life bearable and the lies you tell others to save face. She was guilty of both. In a vain attempt to leave the past behind and start fresh; she sorely misjudged the chances of her past coming into the light and the consequences that would bring. The contents of Campbell’s file had truly turned her world upside down. Truths and lies side by side, line by line. They had cost her love and happiness. She sacrificed her religion and all her morals to earn the love of one man. Now, that man no longer wanted her. She was effectively trapped in the gigantic home. As the days turned to months, and then years, Rebecca felt more like a prisoner in her own home. Just thinking about it made her blood boil once again. Oh, how she hated that despicable man from Belfast! Rebecca took a deep breath to calm herself. She exhaled slowly and opened her deep blue eyes, banishing the terrible thoughts from her mind. She closed the compartment and scanned the desk to ensure nothing was left out of place. Tommy was observant, and he would notice even the smallest irregularity. She left the office with her documents in hand. Now all that Rebecca needed was for Ada to bring the copy of Campbell’s file up from London on Friday. Needless to say, a side job as an investigator gave Ada a thrill unmatched by her work at the library. Although it filled her heart with dread, confiding in Ada helped Rebecca to survive the nightmare.__

_“Are you absolutely certain that your father wasn’t involved?” Ada asked from her position on the bed. It was a line of questioning Rebecca had become accustomed to since involving Ada._

_“Ada, all I know for certain is that I loved my father very much. He was a simple man. He seemed satisfied enough to have a job to go to every morning, and a family to come home to at night.” Rebecca explained. Her dark blue eyes were fixed on the warm glow of London’s streetlights outside Ada’s bedroom window. In the last thirty minutes, Rebecca had not moved from her position. ___

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_“I don’t doubt that he loved you, or that you love him. But this is seriously damning evidence, Rebecca. I know it hurts, but you have to start looking at this with objective eyes. You were young, you might not have noticed any of it.” Ada said. Rebecca visibly shrunk with defeat and sorrow at the harsh reminder of her own bias. “It’s not your fault.” Ada added. She could sense it without even seeing her deep blue eyes. The whole ordeal had led Rebecca down a dark path of self-loathing. Rebecca blamed herself, and firmly believed she deserved all the punishments Tommy could throw her way. It made Ada angry – at Tommy for being so selfish and Rebecca for giving into it all. ___

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_“I just can’t imagine it, Ada. My father wasn’t violent. He wasn’t like Aedan or any of the others.” Rebecca whispered, her voice threatening to break. ___

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_“Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. We won’t know anything for sure until we start looking for answers ourselves.” Ada replied, her tone shifting so as to not sound insensitive. Ada allowed a moment of silence to pass before pressing on. She shuffled through the papers on the bed before selecting one. “Did he attend any meetings, most likely late at night? Or were there any strange men stopping by unannounced?” Ada inquired. ___

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_“No, I don’t think so.” Rebecca replied wearily. ___

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_“Well, even if he did, chances are you never would have noticed. I wouldn’t be surprised if most of the meetings took place under the disguise of other events. You know how it goes, men in one room and the women and children in the other.” Ada said with a huff. There was only two things that made Ada’s temper flare: politics and women’s rights. ___

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_“That’s why I have to go. If they do deals in the back rooms of pubs, then I have to find a way in. Even if I have to force my way in. I have to know the truth.” Rebecca replied with a renewed strength. Finally, she turned from the window; the dark circles under her eyes a stark contrast to the determination now present in her voice._

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_“That sounds like a fast way to get yourself killed, Rebecca.” Ada said, her tone rather disapproving. ___

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_“I have to know the truth, Ada! I never wanted to go back to revisit my past. I tried to bury it all; I thought it would hurt less that way. I was so stupid!” Rebecca shouted, her hands trembling. “Now more than ever, I’m convinced that nothing could hurt more than this fucking arrangement.” Rebecca said as her voice broke. Despite her best efforts to hold off the tears, she crumpled as soon as the thoughts of Tommy and other women shifted back to the forefront of her mind. Ada quickly rose from the bed and embraced her. ___

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_“No matter what that file says, you never deserved any of this. So I won’t defend his actions, nor will I listen to you hate yourself for another minute.” Ada whispered into Rebecca’s shoulder. ___

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_“He hired Lizzie back.” Rebecca whispered as the tears cascaded down her porcelain cheeks. ___

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_“Come sit down.” Ada begged as she pulled Rebecca to sit beside her on the bed. ___

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_“It shouldn’t come as a surprise. Everyone knows that Tommy Shelby can get a fuck anytime he wants.” She said through the tears. ___

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_“Still, it’s no excuse.” Ada said. Rebecca leaned her head onto Ada’s shoulder, and the pair remained unmoved for several minutes. For Rebecca, it was only in the silence of Ada’s bedroom that she would allow herself to cry and poured out her heart until it was empty. Ada never seemed to mind, nor did she pass any undue judgement. It was a small kindness Rebecca was eternally grateful for. ___

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_“I made him promise not to bring strange women into the house.” Rebecca whispered, feeling utterly humiliated and defeated once she gave words to the ludicrous agreement. Ada’s head snapped up. ___

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_“That’s practically permission, Rebecca!” Ada replied, her voice full of shock and horror. Ada knew Rebecca felt low, but she never expected that she would give her blessing to Tommy’s illicit affairs._

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_“I didn’t give him permission! I did it for James’s sake, not Tommy’s. The last thing I want is for James to walk in on his father fucking a pretty red head over a desk.” Rebecca replied. Her weary eyes glazed over with tears and horrid images. ___

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_“No… that would be terrible.” Ada said quietly. Once again the silence gripped them. The situation was grim. Rebecca’s plan was risky, but the poor woman had nothing left to lose. Either she would have to be content with only being let out when Tommy needed his pretty wife to parade around, or risk her life in the quest to clear her own name. The decision was a surprisingly easy one for Rebecca to make. If she was destined to wilt away until she was nothing but a shell of her former self, then life really wouldn’t be worth living anyways. Rebecca could only hope that the proof she produced would be enough to earn her way back into the family. The only thought that terrified Rebecca more than death was losing her son. By leaving, Tommy would have enough proof to charge her with desertion. He could divorce her and take James away forever. ___

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_“We should get back to work.” Rebecca suggested as she brushed the tears from her face. She couldn’t stand to think about what could be for more than a few minutes at a time. If she did, it would break her and usher in an ocean of tears that she was powerless to stop. ___

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_“Would you ever consider doing it? Having sex with another man.” Ada inquired cautiously. ___

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_“No.” Rebecca replied firmly. “At this point I’m barely Catholic, but I know that in the eyes of God, and the law, I am still married. Like it or not, I’m trapped in an impossible position.” Rebecca replied solemnly. Silence filled the room, adding an additional weight to her words. “If I can just find out the truth, maybe Tommy will let me back in. So, can we get back to the task at hand.” She said as she turned her attention to the various documents laid out on the bed._

By Thursday, Rebecca had enlisted Mary to fetch a suitable suitcase from the attic. The initial request concerned Mary greatly, but Rebecca was able to put the woman at ease by telling her that she planned to visit with Ada in London. She hated to lie to Mary, but there was too great a risk that the loyal housekeeper would inform Tommy. Given the circumstances, Rebecca saw no viable alternative. Rebecca packed her suitcase in the evenings after James was tucked into bed, and hid it underneath her bed during the day. After Tommy’s episode, bursting into her room unannounced; necessary precautions had to be taken. When Ada safely arrived from London on Friday afternoon, Rebecca only had one final obstacle to overcome – surviving Saturday’s dinner. 

The week passed by at a painfully slow pace for Tommy. As usual, he went to work early and stayed well past dinner time. Although his body went, his mind never could leave home. All day long he heard the desperately, broken cries of his wife rattling around his head. It tortured him through tedious board meetings, mounds of paperwork, and every longwinded discussion with Arthur and John. He began to wonder why he had even bothered to listen to her cry. What good had it done? Rebecca was still terribly unhappy, and his delusions of acceptance were destroyed. Rebecca’s tears forced Tommy to face an ugly reality; one he worked to avoid for two years. Now he was painfully aware that it was cruel to keep someone so close yet so far away. Tommy had a reputation of being cruel and violent when it served his purpose, but more than anything he was proud. After reading Campbell’s file, he instantly viewed Rebecca in a whole new light. He felt betrayed and angry that he had opened himself up to a liar. He made his decision and was determined to uphold it. The fact that he loved her meant upholding that decision hurt him more than he would admit. Now he was being forced to consider whether or not his initial decision to distance himself from Rebecca was a mistake. The thought of making any mistakes made him sick. Tommy Shelby was not accustomed to making mistakes. As the week crept on toward the weekend, Tommy was convinced that Ada had been right all along. He would either have to divorce her or forgive her. 

 

On Saturday evening, Rebecca sat with James while he ate his dinner in the nursery. It was an unusually early meal on purpose. Rebecca wanted ample time for a bedtime story and kiss goodnight before tucking him into bed one last time. With the rest of the family in their rooms preparing for the evening’s festivities, Rebecca and James were left by themselves. Everything was going exactly as she had hoped. Thankfully, the little boy was oblivious to the blurry tears in his mother’s eyes as she whispered how much she loved him and apologized for leaving. Vocalizing her emotions and thoughts made the tears too heavy to hold back any longer. Rebecca allowed a few tears to fall before she shook her head and shoved them back down. This wasn’t how she wanted her last evening with James to be. If she had to cry, then it would have to be later. Focusing back on her son, Rebecca struck up a more pleasant line of conversation. She adored the way he babbled on and on about different topics without a care. She was so enamored with him that she never heard Tommy’s boots against the floor as he entered the nursery. 

“Hello.” He said from door. Rebecca’s head snapped toward the unmistakable voice. 

“Daddy!” James cheered happily from his seat.

“Oh, I didn’t hear you come in.” Rebecca said, sounding more like an apology than surprise. Tommy shook his head as he moved toward the table. 

“It’s alright. I just thought that I might join you.” Tommy said as he bent to kiss James’s head before taking the chair opposite of Rebecca. Tommy looked rather large sitting at the small child’s table. He wasn’t an exceptionally tall man. He was of average height; his frame lined with lean muscles. Regardless, Rebecca couldn’t help but think he looked silly and out of place. He must have felt her drawn-out gaze because his sharp blue eyes quickly shifted to meet her. Rebecca held her breath. _Did he know about her plan? Was everything ruined? _“Are you alright?” Tommy asked, noticing the redness in her eyes and the paleness of her cheeks.__

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“Yes, yes. I’m fine.” Rebecca replied, but her head screamed otherwise. 

“All done, mama!” James announced from his seat. Rebecca’s thoughts halted at those sweet words. Tommy smiled as he let out a small chuckle at the sight of his son. Based on the looks of him, it would be many years before he would be ready to eat in the dining room with adults. The first steps would include teaching him not to wear his food and the purpose of utensils. 

“James Shelby, you are a mess!” Rebecca proclaimed as she fought off the laughter that was bubbling to the surface. She quickly looked down at her watch before standing and scooping the messy toddler into her arms. “If you hurry in the bath, I will read you a bedtime story afterwards.” Rebecca promised. Tommy looked at his own pocket watch. Noticing the late hour, he had to wonder if Rebecca was allowing herself enough time to get ready for the evening. 

“You should go get ready. I could call for the nanny if you want.” Tommy offered as he rose from his seat. 

“No thanks. I think the two of us can manage just fine.” Rebecca replied, referring to herself and James. She tickled James’s side, which caused the boy to giggle loudly. Tommy simply nodded as Rebecca strode off into the other room. He paused, feeling more than slightly put off. He debated leaving her alone; it was clear she wanted solitude. Then he remembered her cries, when she had sounded so utterly broken. Although he was still uncertain about forgiving her, his soul was compelled to know her once more. He sighed as he followed her into the bathroom. He shrugged his suitcoat from his shoulders and tossed it to the side. He had already rolled up one sleeve by the time Rebecca turned. “What are you doing?” She asked. Her deep blue eyes looked up at him with a distressing level of confusion. Tommy paused. The fact that his desire to be involved in James’s life produced this degree of anxiety in Rebecca troubled Tommy greatly. It left him to wonder how far he had misjudged the stability of his household. This was beyond simple unhappiness, Tommy thought. 

“I figured two pairs of hands is better than one.” Tommy replied, his tone remaining perfectly level despite the apprehension squeezing at his chest. Rebecca looked over at the running water, then to James, and back to Tommy. She desperately wanted this time to herself - to savor every moment with James without any distractions. However, it was getting late and she was quickly running out of time before the dinner party.

“Alright.” She agreed reluctantly. She turned back and continued to undress James while Tommy rolled up his right sleeve. Tommy knelt down beside Rebecca, their eyes meeting in a blue sea of apprehension. Rebecca placed James into the bath and reached for the soap on the ledge. She was grateful that he enjoyed baths as much as he did. According to Ada, the phase wouldn’t last long. Karl was barely a year older than James, and he had already outgrown the phase of wonderment. With one small foothold, the terrible thoughts captured Rebecca’s mind once more. Rebecca began to wonder all the milestones she would miss, would she be permitted to see any more of them? Blissfully unaware of his mother’s troubled mind, James kicked his arms and legs wildly creating waves in the tub. The water picked up momentum as it sloshed back and forth against the sides of the tub like waves on the ocean. James kicked his feet and brought a gigantic wave of water up onto his mother. Rebecca hovered over the tub in disbelief as the water dripped down her face. James looked up with a big grin and giggled. It was far from the first time it had happened.

“James,” Tommy cautioned his son. His voice was level and firm, but not harsh. His son’s blue eyes turned to meet his father’s. “Look what you did to your mother. It’s you who’s meant to be taking a bath, not her.” Tommy explained as he moved to take the bottle of shampoo from Rebecca’s hand. At that particular moment, Rebecca didn’t know what shocked her more. The uncomfortable sensation of water seeping down into her undergarments, or the sight of Tommy knelt down beside the bathtub as he washed James’s hair. In an attempt to recover the situation, she turned away and dried her face with a towel. She looked down at her soaked blouse. The wetness was uncomfortable, but given the uninvited guest Rebecca wasn’t prepared to strip it off. When she turned back around, James’s hair was free from food particles and his hands were sufficiently clean. 

“Alright sweetheart. Come to mama.” Rebecca said. She wrapped the little boy up in a large white towel before sitting on the side of the tub. Her eyes met Tommy’s as he sat back on his heels. She offered Tommy a towel to dry his hands; a kind gesture that he gladly accepted. He looked so normal in this light. In the early days of their marriage, Rebecca had hoped for many moments like this one. Tommy smiled softly back at her before he slowly stood up. Rebecca did not miss the groan that escaped his lips as he rose to his full height.

“Are you alright?” She asked. 

“Yep, just getting old.” He replied in an attempt to keep the conversation light. Rebecca tried to smile, but it hurt when she tried to forced it. 

“I hardly consider thirty-two an old age.” Rebecca said. Honestly, she said it to make herself feel better. She hated the idea of either of them growing older. There was a small, rather foolish, part of herself that hoped they would reconcile sometime before middle age. Despite her broken heart, Rebecca still longed for more children. 

“Work is hard. Fighting in a war is hard. It makes a man tired.” Tommy replied honestly. He didn’t look at her this time, his eyes were fixated on the bathroom wall. Rebecca recognized the solemn, lost look. It appeared anytime Tommy talked or thought about the war. 

“Maybe you should take a break.” Rebecca suggested as she stood and left Tommy behind. Tommy took out a cigarette and a book of matches, his fingers acting swiftly to light it. He took a long inhale before continuing. If he was going to make it through this night, he would need more than a cigarette. In reality, there was nothing stopping him from excusing himself to drink a whiskey before dressing for dinner. It was the tugging feeling in his chest that kept him in the room. The sound of Rebecca’s sobs burned in his mind and it gave him an excruciating headache. He finished the cigarette before returning to the nursery. There he found Rebecca in the rocking chair by the window, James tucked against her chest. She had unbuttoned a few buttons on the damp blouse to allow him to rest his head against her chest. That image stirred Tommy’s brain in an entirely different way. He attempted to keep his boots quiet as he crossed the room. He sat down in the chair closest to them and listened to her read James some story about a rabbit. James’s eyes grew heavy and slowly closed, but Rebecca continued on to the end. She set the book to the side and kissed his curly hair before standing to her feet. There was no doubt in Tommy’s mind that Rebecca had mastered this routine. She swayed and bounced just enough to keep the boy asleep while she slowly placed him into his bed. She pulled the covers up and bent over to kiss his head one last time. One last time, she thought. It was enough to bring on the tears she had attempted to banish earlier. She quickly brushed the tears from her eyes before she turned. Tommy moved across the nursery floor to meet her in the darkness.

“Tell me.” He whispered. His hand moving up her arm as a reassurance. 

“He’s going to grow up so fast, he already has.” Rebecca confessed as she tried to steady her trembling voice.

“That’s not all of it.” Tommy objected. His blue eyes begging her for an honest answer.

“No, but I can hardly bear the pain of it in my own mind. Please don’t make me say it out loud.” She begged him quietly. Tommy stepped back, his hand falling away from her arm. He wouldn’t keep her against her wishes; cause her any more pain or unhappiness than he already did. It was more evident than it had ever been before that he had caused her enough misery to last a lifetime. No longer held, Rebecca slipped out of the room as quickly and quietly as she could manage. Tommy stood there in the dark with his sleeping son. His failed attempt to break down the wall between them would undoubtedly make this dinner party more difficult. 

Rebecca closed the nursery door behind her and quickly scanned the hallway. With no one in sight, Rebecca ran down the hallway to her room. It was not for a lack of time, but an act of desperation. She desperately needed some distance. After everything that transpired in the past two years, Tommy still had the power to pull her right back in. Her own weakness made her angry. She could only hope that the dinner party would be enough to keep her mind off the blue eyed man. The man who hurt her. The man she still loved. 

Rebecca sat down in front of the mirror and went to work preparing herself for the night out. Most women would have been thrilled at the prospect of a night out with their husband, but not Rebecca Shelby. It was just business. There was no romance, she was simply there to fill a role. It was the same words she had told herself on the day Tommy took her to the races. That day had ended in disaster, and she hoped that this night would be different. A knock at the door distracted her from the final touches of her lipstick. She turned in her chair as Ada peered around the door. 

“You look lovely.” Ada said as she quickly entered and closed the door. 

“You are too kind. I practically took a bath with James twenty minutes ago. He soaked me down to my skin.” Rebecca replied. Both women laughed at the never-ending adventure that was raising boys. Rebecca applied a final stroke of red lipstick before standing to her feet. She loosened her satin robe and disappeared behind the dressing screen. Ada sat down on the bed and looked at the open suitcase on the floor. 

“Are you ready?” Ada asked, her voice growing tight. 

“I think so. The file and my identification papers are in my hand bag. I have no idea what sort of clothes I will need once I get there so I put a little bit of everything in.” Rebecca answered from behind the screen. 

“And more than just a little bit of firepower.” Ada said when she spotted two leather holsters, two revolvers, and a box of ammunition in the open case. Rebecca laughed.

“I’m nothing if not prepared.” Rebecca replied as she emerged. The sparkling embellishment on her cream gown mesmerized Ada. Her mouth fell open as she watched Rebecca cross her bedroom floor to look at herself in the mirror. The only feature that managed to surprise Ada more than the sparkling beads and sequins, was the plunging v neckline that graced both the front and back of the dress. The sparkling beads created an illusion of a cascading waterfall around her breasts and back. Although it revealed much of her upper half, the hem came to her ankles. 

“Holy shit! You hoping for a fuck before you go?” Ada inquired as she stood up from the bed. Given the conversation with Tommy, Rebecca had to wonder if this dress was the right one for the occasion. _Would it send the wrong message, she wondered? What message was she trying to send anyway?_

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“This isn’t for Tommy, or any other man for that matter. Women can dress up just to feel good about ourselves.” Rebecca announced as she turned. Ada quirked an eyebrow at Rebecca’s words. It was obvious that Ada did not fully believe her elaborate explanation. Rebecca huffed. “Alright, fine. There is a small part of me that hopes Tommy will like it.” Rebecca admitted. 

“I knew it!” Ada cheered. 

“Is it too much?” Rebecca asked, feeling suddenly very uneasy about her choice. 

“It’s gorgeous, and so are you!” Ada assured her with a gentle smile. Rebecca’s shoulders relaxed slightly after hearing Ada’s affirmation. She had purchased the dress mostly because it made her feel good about herself. Very few things made her feel confident and pleased with herself these days. The dress was tailored to hug every curve. The neckline was especially flattering to the swell of breasts, and the beading accentuated her hips. Rebecca had spent her teenage years feeling rather incomplete and awkward; so she was thrilled when her figure took shape in recent years. Her fingers ghosted over the soft fabric and detailed beading. She decided that the confidence she could pull from the dress would be her body armor for the night. If it was to be her final night, she wanted everyone to remember her as a confident woman. “Alright, everyone else will be downstairs waiting. Best hurry up with your grand entrance… Mrs. Shelby.” Ada teased as she skipped from the room like an overjoyed school girl. Rebecca took a final glance in the mirror before she stepped into the hallway. The noise from the foyer below echoed up and straight into her ears. She could hear Arthur and John bantering back and forth, while Polly griped at Esme for taking too long. The thought of facing them all at once made her stomach turn. She gripped the banister and took the first step down, her blue eyes connecting with Ada’s. Ada smiled warmly and leaned over to tap Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy turned and instantly his piercing blue eyes were fixed on the angelic figure that was gliding down the staircase. His mouth parted as if to say something, but no words managed to escape his mystified mind. When she approached the last stair he quickly pulled himself together and stepped forward, offering his arm. 

“You look… nice.” Tommy said quietly, slightly lost for words. Rebecca’s heart sank slightly at his lackluster compliment. Nice wasn’t the word she had hoped to hear, but that was the price of high expectation. Tommy instantly regretted having to share this moment with anyone else. He wanted to say more, but formality and awkwardness precluded him. Across the floor, John and Arthur were desperate for a closer look, but the presence of their own wives prevented them from indulging any longer. Michael just looked stunned, his mouth hanging open more than what was appropriate; all to the displeasure of his mother. Ada smirked, feeling pleased with how the scene was unfolding. 

“Thank you.” Rebecca replied politely, as she wrapped her arm around his. “You don’t look half bad yourself.” She whispered as they moved to join the rest of the family. The flirtatious compliment made Tommy’s heart flutter and a small smile appeared on his face. Less than an hour ago she was in tears, now she was perfectly put together and in complete control of herself. How she managed it was a mystery to Tommy, but he couldn’t help but admire her for it. 

“That dress is absolutely lovely!” Ada said as Tommy ushered Rebecca toward the rest of the family. 

“Most women stop dressing like _that _once they have children.” Polly commented before she turned to collect her coat. Rebecca bit her lip; the satisfaction welling up inside her at Polly’s adamant disapproval.__

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“Are you kidding? If those kids left me with tits like that, I’d be running around in a lot less than that!” Esme said. John wrapped his arms around Esme’s waist and whispered something dirty in her ear, which earned him a harsh slap on the wrist. Tommy couldn’t help but look down to sneak a look for himself. Despite the fact that Rebecca was legally his wife, he still felt like a cheeky boy who was doing something he ought not to be. He racked his memory, and struggled to remember if she had looked that way all along. 

“It’s far too revealing for my taste, but I like the color.” Linda commented as she approached the pair. 

“Hello Linda. Lovely of you to join us.” Rebecca greeted the blonde. Linda and Rebecca had a complicated relationship, mainly on the basis of religion, and Rebecca’s sudden lack thereof. Then there was the issue of guns in the house, drinking whiskey and smoking. Regardless of how Rebecca behaved, Linda always managed to toss her a compliment and insult rolled into one. 

“Of course. I’m all for supporting Arthur, and the legitimate business.” Linda replied, her eyes flashing dangerously toward Tommy. Before either had the opportunity to engage one another, Arthur ushered Linda toward the door. Rebecca felt Tommy’s muscles tense under his suit jacket. She looked up to find his temples pulsating with frustration.

“Should we be on our way?” Rebecca asked in a rather lighthearted tone. Tommy looked down at his wife and his expression softened only slightly. 

“Yes,” He replied. 

The drive into Birmingham went by with relative speed, and it was thankfully free of any unpleasant topics of conversations. It helped that it was only Tommy, Ada, and Rebecca in the car. Rebecca could only hope that the remainder of the evening would continue along at such a light tone. When they arrived, Tommy helped Ada and Rebecca from the car. Rebecca took hold of Tommy’s arm and positioned a smile on her face as they climbed the steps. The room was nicely decorated, and the event appeared to be off to a smooth start. No doubt it was Lizzie’s doing, Rebecca thought. With one too many thoughts of Lizzie, Rebecca grabbed Ada’s arm and pulled her toward the bar. Rebecca quickly downed a glass of champagne to banish the thoughts of Lizzie and Tommy fucking on a desk. It would be the only way she could stand next to Tommy all night and not replay the unpleasant images. All of the Shelby’s dispersed into the crowd of people. As usual everyone had a job to do, or a role to play. Rebecca’s job was simple: look pretty and make small talk with the wives of important men. However, her looming mission made it more challenging to carry on light conversation. By the time they finished greeting all of the guests, Rebecca was desperate for a reprieve. 

“Excuse me for a moment.” Rebecca said politely as she broke away from Tommy’s side. Tommy’s eyes followed the shimmer of her dress as she rounded the corner and disappeared from sight. Distracted by the slight swing of her hips, Tommy quickly introduced the councilor he was speaking with to Ada and excused himself. He made his way through the crowd and turned down the long corridor. When he rounded the corner, he discovered that the door at the end of the corridor was hanging wide open. Instantly, his mind shifted into overdrive as he proceeded down the hallway. He pulled his revolver from the holster and increased his pace. He stepped out the door and aimed his weapon, ready to fire at the first person that moved. 

“Holy shit! Thomas!” Rebecca screamed in terror. Her hand flew up to her chest and she dropped the cigarette from between her fingers. Tommy sighed as he dropped the gun to his side; the tension slowly disappearing into the night. 

“Oh,” Tommy breathed. His heart rate refused to return to a steady rate just yet. “What the fuck are you doing out here?” He asked quickly. 

“I’m trying to have a fucking cigarette in peace!” Rebecca shot back, her irritation evident in her tone and sharp glare. 

“I’m sorry. I saw the door open and I just thought the worst.” Tommy replied. He quickly returned his revolver to the holster before taking out the cigarette tin and matches from his pocket. 

“You thought the worst.” Rebecca affirmed with a nod. Although she was frustrated with Tommy for interrupting her moment of peace, she completely understood the rush of fear and adrenaline that motivated his actions. 

“You know, you could just smoke inside.” Tommy said as he lit a cigarette and passed it to Rebecca. She couldn’t help but chuckle at his statement. He was so blissfully unaware of the unwritten rules that ruined a woman’s life. It wasn’t surprising. After all, he was a man. Rebecca inhaled deeply before turning to look at Tommy again. Tommy’s blue eyes peered over his cupped hands as he lit a cigarette for himself. 

“Men can smoke inside. But those same men would consider it unladylike if I did the same.” Rebecca informed him. Tommy nodded, accepting her answer without further argument. “Equal rights for women my ass.” Rebecca muttered with the cigarette between her lips. She leaned her back against the wall and tipped her head back as she exhaled. Tommy stilled, feeling utterly mesmerized as he watched the beautiful woman move in the dim light. She looked so different in that light, far more elegant than he ever remembered. When Rebecca stumbled into his life four years ago, she was shy and moral. A thin young woman afraid in the great wide world. The woman who stood before him now seemed like an entirely different person. She was confident, and spoke her mind. She smoked, drank whiskey, and could shoot a rifle better than half the British army. Her dark blue eyes were a stain glass window into her soul. She put on a brave face despite being broken time and time again. All Tommy was certain of was that she was absolutely, undeniably beautiful. In the time it took Tommy to draw that conclusion, the silent void had taken hold. Thankfully, Rebecca hadn’t expected a response from Tommy and was content with staring into the nothingness in front of her. 

“You look beautiful tonight.” Tommy said. He failed to process the gravity of speaking such words before they slipped past his lips. The regret and fear made him want to gag, and he felt for a minute as if he would. Rebecca slowly turned her head, her dark blue eyes matching Tommy’s. He was almost certain that she would tell him to fuck off and go straight to hell, maybe even leave him standing on a fire escape like a fool. 

“Thank you.” She replied quietly. Those two simple words came at such a surprise to Tommy that he was barely capable of mustering up another response. 

“I wanted to tell you that earlier, when I first saw you come downstairs. It just wasn’t a good time with everyone else there.” Tommy explained. 

“So what finally did it for you?” Rebecca asked as she brought the cigarette back to her lips. Her dark blue eyes shifted in a way Tommy had never seen before. 

“What do you mean?” He asked. She smirked as she tossed the end of her cigarette off the fire escape. 

“Come on.” Rebecca coaxed as she stepped closer. Her eyes were growing increasingly dark as she closed in on Tommy. “I want to hear you say the words. Admit it out loud for me. There is a part of you that deeply regrets this arrangement. It might just be your cock, but maybe you do have a heart after all. What I want to know is, what did it for you? Did you suddenly look up after two _fucking _years and realize that I had changed. Surprise! I’m not a little girl anymore.” Rebecca shouted. “You thought that if you kept me under your thumb just enough, if you kept me living in your house, that I wouldn’t change. I would just be a pretty party piece that you could pull out whenever it suited you.” Rebecca laughed bitterly. “I know you. You crave control Thomas, you always have and always will. The fact that I’ve changed without your consent makes you fucking mad as hell. Well I have news for you, _dear husband _, I don’t need your permission! I can smoke, shoot a gun, or grow a pair of tits just fine on my own!” Rebecca fired back. Her outburst unsettled Tommy to the point of utter silence. He felt dazed, like a fighter who had suffered a terrible blow to the head. All of his previously rational thoughts were now jumbled together in a terrible mess. In the past two years, he had never heard her speak more frankly. Before Tommy’s rational mind could formulate a proper retort, all of the anger and lust he held in his own heart rushed in like a raging river and swept him away. It took one swift movement for him to capture her lips. His large hand captured one side of her face while the other easily found its way to the curve of her waist. He took another step forward, pushing her back into the door and closing it firmly. Rebecca pounded on his arms in desperation, and even managed to strike him once in the ear with her open palm. The blow to the head nearly succeeded in bringing Tommy to his knees. Somehow, despite the ringing in his ears, Tommy managed to stand firm. The weight of his body kept her somewhat still. After a few seconds, her arms stilled and eventually settled on his shoulders. Her lips relaxed and parted to meet his willingly. Tommy held her flush against his body; desperate to keep her this close forever. His one hand trailed from her face all the way down the side of her body until both of her hips were in his grasp. It felt as if his lungs were on fire from a lack of oxygen when he finally pulled away for a breath.____

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__“You’ve said your peace, now it’s my turn.” Tommy said as he tried to suck in enough oxygen to explain himself. Lucky for Tommy, Rebecca lacked the strength to do anything except gasp for air. Her cheeks were flushed a deep red hue from the initial struggle and subsequent kiss. At the moment, she was simply thankful for the strength to stay up on her feet. In the past two years she had considered what it would be like to kiss him; and how intoxicating it would be to feel the warmth of his skin under her fingers again. Those tempting thoughts came and went in the dead of night, amidst the nightmares. But never in her wildest dreams had she considered this as one of the possible scenarios. “There is only one thing I’m absolutely certain of in this moment. I want to take you home and rip that dress off your body. I desperately need to know what you’re hiding underneath it.” Tommy admitted._ _

__“So you want to fuck me?” Rebecca asked, her tone teetering between apprehension and confidence._ _

__“Yes, yes I do.” He replied. His tone and demeanor once again firmly under control. Rebecca nodded as she silently considered her decision. She felt stunned, and completely uncertain as to the right steps forward. Tommy wrongfully assumed her nod was an agreement and bent to kiss her again. Rebecca brought her arms up to fight him again, but the waves of desire were too much. Instead, she circled his neck as she leaned into the kiss. Tommy’s fingers bunched up the silky fabric of her dress until he found his way to the delicate skin on her hips. Rebecca found the summer night air refreshingly cool on her exposed skin. It was welcomed amidst the heat that was rising between them. But as quickly as her senses had left her, they returned with a painful wave of reality._ _

__“No, Tommy. Not like this.” Rebecca told him firmly as she pushed against his chest. Tommy’s face twisted with confusion and the pain of rejection. The uncertainty faded from her eyes as the usual fire returned. “We’re adults, but right now it feels like we’re teenagers trying to fuck in secret. I don’t care if it’s been more than two years since I had a proper fuck, I don’t want it if this is how it’s going to be.” Rebecca protested. Her argument was sensible, and it appealed to Tommy’s practical side. However, the way she looked in that dress made him want to act on the carnal desire to explore her body. She was fuel to a fire that would not be so easily dimmed._ _

__“How do you want it then? Tell me what you want and I’ll do it.” Tommy replied, fully determined to have her again._ _

__“If we are ever going to go to bed together again there will be rules for the both of us. First, we go to bed with clear heads. I don’t want either one of us to wake up the next day and regret what we agreed to in a drunken state. Second, the only way you are ever going to fuck me again is as my husband. We go to bed as husband and wife, and make an honest go of it from that point on. No more secrets, no more lies. No doubts, no regrets.” Rebecca said. Tommy stared down at her in a state of amazed appreciation. Her ability to maintain a level head was nothing short of remarkable._ _

__“I can’t take back the whiskey I drank earlier this evening. Nor your champagne.” Tommy said quietly. Rebecca nodded._ _

__“I know.” She replied solemnly. In that moment, the silence was welcomed. It had a sobering effect on the both of them. The passionate fire between them growing cold. “We should get back. You’re the host after all.” Rebecca said. Tommy finally stepped back from Rebecca, her beautiful cream dress falling easily back into place. The sight of her beautifully naked legs disappeared from Tommy’s view, but not his memory._ _

__“Do you think they’ve noticed we’re gone?” Tommy asked. It was a rather silly question. What did it matter what other people thought? If they thought anything of it, who would dare to say anything?_ _

__“I’m sure some people have noticed you’re gone… but I can’t say the same for myself.” Rebecca said as she quickly diverted her blue eyes. “I’ll go fix my lipstick so we don’t come back at the same time. Married or not, it would look scandalous.” Rebecca offered. Before Tommy could reply she disappeared through the door. The shimmer of the embellishments on the cream fabric made her appear as if she was floating away from him. Perhaps she was, and that thought terrified Tommy. He pulled out his pocket watch, noticing that it was half past seven. He knew that they would be looking for him to start dinner. Without further delay he rejoined the party._ _

__The party continued free of even the smallest irregularity. During dinner, Tommy watched Rebecca from his position at the head of the table. In all honesty, he could hardly tear his eyes away from his wife for more than two minutes. When the last of the guests had departed, everyone piled back into the cars and headed for Arrow House._ _

__“I’m going to go check on James.” Rebecca said, quick to excuse herself._ _

__“I’ll come with you.” Ada said as the two women made their way up the staircase. Tommy stilled as he watched Rebecca climb the stairs. His eyes fixated on the exposed skin of her back and the slight sway of her hips._ _

__“I could go for a drink.” John said. With that Tommy motioned everyone into the sitting room. Rebecca went straight down the hall and opened the nursery door. James was just as she had left him. Tucked under the blankets, his chubby fingers clutching his favorite plush animal as sweet dreams floated through his head. The sight of him squeezed her heart. She choked on the tears as they rushed to her eyes. She heard Ada approaching from behind, her heels clicking cautiously across the floor._ _

__“It’s going to be alright. He’s going to be alright.” Ada promised as she gave Rebecca’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Rebecca nodded as she tried to control herself. “I promise.” Ada whispered._ _

__“I know.” She replied, her voice sounding as broken as her soul felt. “I think that’s what bothers me most. The thought of the both of them being perfectly fine without me. If…” Rebecca paused as she took in a shaky breath. “I can’t help but think about how terrible it would be if I didn’t come back. James won’t even remember me.” Rebecca said._ _

__“Of course he will. You’re his mother.” Ada assured her._ _

__“He’s just a baby.” Rebecca cried as she turned and buried her head in Ada’s shoulder. Ada wrapped her arms around the broken woman and held tightly to her._ _

__“Listen to me. You are going to come back. I believe it.” Ada said as she struggled not to crumble herself._ _

__“You believe beyond all reason Ada.” Rebecca replied._ _

__“Someone has to.” Ada said quietly. They stood there for another minute, while Rebecca regained control of herself. “Do you feel like a drink?” Ada asked as Rebecca brushed the tears from her cheeks._ _

__“No. I just want to go to bed.” Rebecca replied. Ada nodded, not the least bit surprised at her response. They made their way down the hallway and parted ways when Ada took the stairs down. Rebecca turned the handle on her bedroom door and stopped at the sight of Tommy sitting on her bed. He had shed his tuxedo jacket and loosened his bowtie, but he still looked perfect to Rebecca. He lifted his bright blue eyes, and what little remained of Rebecca’s resolve fell._ _

__“They wanted to drink, but I didn’t.” He announced. Rebecca nodded, still frozen in the doorway._ _

__“What do you want?” Rebecca asked, feeling weak and uncertain. Tommy stood and crossed the floor to meet her._ _

__“Come to bed with me.” Tommy replied. Rebecca wasn’t sure if it was an offer or a request. She lifted her eyes to examine his expression, seeking some clarity on the situation._ _

__“We should talk.” Rebecca said, her confidence fading fast. Although she desperately wanted to say yes, to let him in, she feared that she would never muster the courage to leave him in the morning. Leaving him was going to hurt, but doing so after having sex would make it hurt a thousand times worse._ _

__“No.” Tommy shook his head. “There will be plenty of time to talk in the morning. Tonight, I just want you.” Tommy said as he bent and captured her lips again. When they parted, Tommy took her hand and led her down the hallway to his room. When he opened the door, Rebecca barely had the courage to step over the threshold. It still felt wrong to enter. This had been Tommy’s space, a place she never dared to go. Noticing that she had yet to close the door, Tommy returned to her side. He closed the door gently behind them and pulled her toward the bed._ _

__“Did you know that I’ve never been in here before?” Rebecca muttered awkwardly from where she stood in the middle of the carpet. Tommy stared at her, considering the true meaning of her statement. He wondered if she was uncomfortable simply because she was out of her element._ _

__“Well, it’s similar to your room. There’s a bathroom through there and a closet next to it. And um, through there is a small nursery.” Tommy explained as he pointed out the different doors. Rebecca nodded, still looking rather uneasy. He removed his waistcoat before moving to meet her in the center of the large red carpet. A roaring fire to their left and his bed on the right. “Would you rather go back to your room?” He asked, utterly puzzled as to what could be done to assuage her uncertainty. She simply shook her head._ _

__“I’ve thought about this moment for two years. Wondered how it would be, or how it would feel if we ever worked things out. I just can’t believe it’s happening now.” She admitted as she turned her deep blue eyes up to meet his. All that Tommy could think was how perfect she looked standing there. The way that the firelight made her skin glow, and the mysterious glimmer in her eyes made him want to cherish every second he had with her._ _

__“How did you imagine it?” He asked._ _

__“I thought I would feel a lot more confident than I do right now.” Rebecca confessed. A smile pulled at the corners of Tommy’s lips. He admired her honesty, and it only made him want to know more of her._ _

__“Tell me what to do.” Tommy said quietly as his hands settled on her hips. His words threw Rebecca off her guard. Tommy was always in charge, in every aspect of life. Now, in this pivotal moment he had let go._ _

“Sit on the bed. I’ll be right back.” She said as she turned and made her way to the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and gasped for breath. _Shit. _She moved to the mirror and clutched the sink. As she examined herself in the mirror all she could think was that she was way in over her head. Why tonight, of all nights had Tommy decided to be sensitive to her? Why had she agreed at all, knowing full well that she intended to leave him in the morning? She ran the cold water and splashed it on the back of her neck. The timing was less than ideal, but she wanted him. There was a great risk to Rebecca emotionally if she slept with Tommy now. It could fuck her entire plan up. She thought about her mission, and the looming risk of death. It was then that she decided, no matter how great the emotional risk, the regret of allowing this opportunity to pass was far worse. She stood up straight, pulling her shoulders back, before she began to take the pins out of her hair. The dark wavy locks of hair tumbled down around her shoulders. She took in a desperate breath and slowly released it. No regrets, no doubts she repeated to herself. When she returned to the bedroom she found Tommy, waiting for her on the bed. He shifted his piercing blue eyes up from his noticeably empty hands. The lack of a cigarette or whiskey painfully awkward for him. “No regrets, no doubts?” Rebecca asked once more. Tommy nodded his head slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. With a final assurance, Rebecca slipped her fingers underneath one of the sheer straps and slipped it off her shoulder. The weight of the beading on the garment pulled it down dramatically and revealed more of her breast. She snaked her hand across her collarbone and gently slipped the other strap off. The dress dropped until it pooled around her waist. The natural curve of her hips prevented the cream fabric and beads from falling all the way to the ground. Tommy’s breath hitched as he took in the sight of her. Over the past week, the desire to rediscover Rebecca had almost completely consumed him. Now that she stood just within his reach, his desire escalated to nothing short of a compulsion. Given the revealing nature of the neckline, he suspected that her undergarments were minimal; but he never expected nothing. The look of shock followed by appreciation did not go unnoticed by Rebecca. It brought a small confident smirk to her lips and fueled her own desires. Hooking her thumbs on the fabric around her waist, she slipped what remained of the dress off her hips. The beautiful dress that had made her look like an angel now lay in a crumpled mess on the red carpet. The only stitch of clothing left on her body was the white garter belt, her underwear, and sheer stockings. Rebecca waited patiently for his eyes to stop moving, allowing Tommy to look for as long as he wanted.__

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____“You…” Tommy muttered as she floated closer._ _ _ _

____“Shh.” Rebecca hushed him as she brought her finger to his parted lips. “You said no talking.” She reminded him. Tommy gazed deep into her lust filled eyes and wondered when she had managed to learn any of this. She had been a virgin when he took her to bed the first time. At first, she lacked any skills or confidence in the bedroom. His longing gaze would unsettle her; even after they were married she would shy away from him. She was truly a mystery, a beautiful mystery that Tommy had to discover. He moved to stand, but stumbled back when she pushed against his chest. He landed flat on his back; the sensation of Rebecca settling on his hips nothing short of astonishing. Tommy looked up at her briefly before relaxing into the bedding. He was painfully hard now and they both knew it. Tommy brought his hand up to her face and pulled her into a passionate kiss. His other hand grasped at her hips and kept her firmly pressed against him. Tommy ran his hands lightly over the exposed skin of her back, the connection felt like electricity running through his body. It had been a long time since he had felt such lust and love all at once. Tommy sat up and hooked her legs around his waist. Rebecca’s fingers seized the opportunity to unbutton Tommy’s shirt. She pushed the starched white fabric away from his body and tossed it on the ground. Starving for her lips once more, Tommy brought her into a desperate and passionate kiss. Her hands moved over the swell of his biceps before circling around his neck. Unwilling to wait another moment, Tommy turned them over and pressed Rebecca’s back into the mattress. He unfastened his pants with one hand while holding himself up with the other. Once he freed himself from the constraining clothing, he looked back to her face. Tommy had never seen his wife look so alive. Her deep blue eyes were burning with adrenaline and desire. Their desire was a shared one, and any further delay would only frustrate both of them. He pushed her underwear to the side and entered her slowly. A gasp escaping her lips as her entire body tensed around him. Tommy noticed how she clung to the sheets and arched her back with pleasure. It was a sight that thoroughly pleased him. His pace steadily increased until he succeeded in bringing moans from Rebecca’s lips. She dug her nails into his back as if she was holding onto him for dear life. Tommy didn’t mind, the stinging pain only fueled his growing pleasure. Rebecca tried to fight it but after so long she could not stop herself from falling over the edge quickly. She clung to him as she cried out, the pleasure too much to contain. Tommy followed her into the abyss only moments later. Tommy bent his head and let it rest on Rebecca’s shoulder. The pair remained unmoved while they recovered their breathing. Tommy pressed a gentle kiss to Rebecca’s shoulder before he sat up and pulled away. Rebecca sighed and turned onto her side. Tommy followed her; his hand snaking over her exposed abdomen as he pulled her back towards him. She relaxed into the warmth of his chest as his fingers ghosted over the delicate skin where she had stretched as James grew inside of her._ _ _ _

____“Your first proper fuck in two years and all I get is your backside afterwards.” Tommy’s deep voice floated into the darkness behind her. He shifted himself more upright, seeking out her face. Rebecca turned onto her back as her hand moved to his cheek._ _ _ _

____“Sorry.” She replied. Tommy smiled at the breathless quality of her voice. He bent and kissed her again; his lips lingering until a knock at the door distracted him._ _ _ _

____“I’ll be right back.” Tommy said as he slid out of bed. He fastened his pants as he moved to the door. Rebecca settled down and pulled the comforter up to her shoulders. She felt empty without Tommy inside her. Her exposed skin craving his warmth all over again. Tommy opened the door to find Arthur. “What is it, Arthur?” Tommy asked, frustration slipping into his smooth tone._ _ _ _

____“Tommy, I gotta talk to you.” Arthur pressed. Tommy moved to the side and stepped into the hallway. Arthur’s eyes just about popped out of his head after glancing into Tommy’s dark bedroom. “Is that Rebecca in your bed?” Arthur asked, a smirk spreading across his face._ _ _ _

____“Yes, Arthur. That’s my wife in my bed, and I would very much like to get back, so out with it.” Tommy replied. The flash of Tommy’s dangerous blue eyes was enough warning for Arthur to shut his mouth on that subject._ _ _ _

____“The Russians have made contact.” Arthur reported. Tommy groaned._ _ _ _

____“Fuck. Where did you put him?” Tommy asked, his mind quickly shifting gears._ _ _ _

____“John and Finn are downstairs.” Arthur replied._ _ _ _

____“Has everyone else gone to bed?” Tommy asked. Arthur nodded in the affirmative. “Alright, I need you to keep him occupied. Keep your mouths shut. I’ll be down in a minute.” Tommy said before opening the door._ _ _ _

____“Goodnight Rebecca!” Arthur called over his shoulder. Tommy closed the door firmly behind him and quickly crossed the room. Rebecca pulled the comforter up over her head._ _ _ _

____“Of course it had to be Arthur! Give the man whiskey and he sings like a canary.” Rebecca groaned. Tommy chuckled as he stripped off his remaining clothing and selected a new suit._ _ _ _

____“I don’t see the harm. Like you said, if we go to bed we have to make an honest go of it.” Tommy said._ _ _ _

____“I just don’t want other people’s opinions getting in the way.” Rebecca said as she sat up. Her face twisted with confusion at the sight of Tommy dressing again. “What are you doing?” She asked._ _ _ _

____“Urgent business.” Tommy replied with his back still turned._ _ _ _

____“At midnight?” Rebecca asked skeptically._ _ _ _

____“I’m sorry.” Tommy said as he turned. His apology was a genuine one, Rebecca could tell from the tone of his voice and the gentleness in his blue eyes. “I would rather stay in bed with you, but I have to deal with this myself.” Tommy said as he moved closer. He bent and kissed her once more. Realizing it would be the last, Rebecca brought her hand up to cup his face, hoping to keep him there for as long as possible. “I promise that I will make it up to you in the morning.” He promised. Rebecca nodded as he pulled away and her heart broke when he closed the door._ _ _ _

____Rebecca waited silently in the dark as she searched for the courage to leave Tommy’s bed. She shrugged Tommy’s discarded shirt over her frame before peering into the hallway. With no one in sight she made a run for her room. She would look ridiculous if anyone caught her running around in Tommy’s shirt, but it was a better alternative than putting her dress back on. Once she was safe in her room, Rebecca pulled a navy blue drop waisted dress over her head. She moved to the dressing table and pulled her unruly dark hair into a neat bun. For the sake of time, she decided that her current makeup would have to do. Hurrying to the bed, she pulled out her hidden suitcase and flung it onto the bed. With a flip of the lock, she pulled the two black leather holsters out. She shrugged the shoulder holster into place before propping her foot on the bed to fasten the second one around her hips and thigh. Her dark blue eyes stared down at the two loaded revolvers in her suitcase. One was rightfully hers but the second one she had taken from Tommy’s stash without permission. She took the gun and the box of ammunition, which was disguised amongst her feminine products. Finally, she donned a navy blue jacket that matched her dress and conceal her weapons. She closed the suitcase and made her way downstairs. Noticing that Tommy’s office was dark, she carefully opened the door and slipped behind the desk. She wrote him a painfully brief letter. She had to let him know how she felt. It would be wrong to leave him without an explanation. If she never came back, the letter would be all Tommy had to make sense of the terrible ordeal. As she placed the sealed envelope on the table in the foyer, Rebecca prayed that Tommy would be the first and only person to read it. With a shaky breath Rebecca turned and walked out the door._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words cannot explain how grateful I am for your supportive comments. Thank you so much! I love hearing from you all, so please keep them coming.


	3. Dear Tommy, Love Rebecca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay in posting this chapter. It has been a crazy few weeks accompanied by some serious writers block. Get ready for a devastated Tommy... and that letter.

Dear Tommy, Love Rebecca

As soon as Tommy came down stairs, he ordered Arthur to get the Russian out of his house. There was nothing that disturbed Tommy more than the idea of conducting Russian business while his wife and child slept upstairs. Churchill had warned Tommy that his mission would be dangerous, and that the Russians would pose a unique challenge. They were slippery and purposefully deceptive. It was just sport; entertainment for their exile. For that exact reason, Churchill had instructed that there was to be no variations in the plan. If Tommy fucked even the smallest detail up, it would spark a political and economic firestorm. Following Tommy’s explicate request, Arthur and John escorted the Russian out to the stables. 

“Tommy, this is the Grand Duchess, Tatiana Petrovna.” Arthur announced as Tommy strode up to meet them. All the light and love previously held in Tommy’s blue eyes faded as soon as he left the main house. He was vexed that the Russians decided to show up tonight of all nights. Tommy stopped in front of them and squared his shoulders. He stood tall; an imposing figure to behold with his peaked cap pulled low over his oceanic eyes and jaw clenched. Tommy tilted his head up just enough so that his icy blue glare could run up and down the mysterious woman. 

“Have you brought the money?” Tommy asked curtly. 

“Are you always so direct with women, Mr. Shelby?” She replied smoothly. Her silky accent only added to the allure and mystery in the air that surrounded her. Tommy cursed under his breath. He hadn’t expected a woman, but he quickly realized why she was sent. This woman was going to be trouble, he could feel it in his bones. 

“You will find that I am direct in all matters of business.” Tommy replied.

“Even when you are conducting business with a Duchess?” Tatiana questioned. Tommy was already growing weary of the woman’s frivolous questions. Her words were devoid of substance, and it seemed to Tommy, that her only aim was to establish the grander of her station. Maybe she was just here to fuck with him. He expected the Russians to deliver the cash, but he did not expected a late night intrusion from a woman. Especially not on the same night that Rebecca returned to his bed. 

“Yes.” Tommy replied firmly, his voice lower now. “Did you bring the money? I was told cash on contact.” Tommy repeated. 

“I brought your money, Mr. Shelby.” She replied as her eyes danced lustfully over Tommy. It was obvious that the Duchess was enjoying this exchange more than Tommy. 

“Arthur, count the money.” Tommy ordered without taking his trained eyes off the woman in front of him. It was undeniable, the Duchess was attractive; her charm had already rubbed off on John. It wasn’t surprising to Tommy that it would be a challenge to keep John on track when there was a pretty woman involved. The close proximity of the Duchess did not stir up any desires in Tommy. His heart remained with his wife, his mind preoccupied with returning to her. Tommy watched Tatiana with carefully guarded eyes, for fear of what trouble she could get into if he were to leave her unattended for even a moment. 

“I see that you trust family.” Tatiana commented, her smoky eyes dancing back to meet Tommy’s stern blue gaze. Tommy had no doubt that Tatiana’s silky voice and dark eyes were trained tools of manipulation. The way she parted her red lips and stared longingly with her dark eyes; she could easily bring any man to their knees. The wanton glimmer in her eyes made Tommy painfully aware that she had set her sights on him. 

“Yes.” Tommy replied. 

“Can you do it?” Tatiana inquired with a cunning smile. Tommy cocked his head to the side ever so slightly at her question. A fleeting smirk tugged on Tommy’s lips. 

“Yes.” Tommy replied as his stoic façade fell quickly back into place.

“Yep, it’s all here.” Arthur confirmed moments later. 

“Good. Be sure to lock the gate behind her.” Tommy said as he took the suitcase from Arthur and left. Tommy hurried back to the house and immediately placed the money into the safe. There was one overwhelming thought that captivated Tommy’s mind – Rebecca. The thought of his wife waiting for him, naked and willing in his bed gave a hint of urgency to Tommy’s movements. He hurried back up the stairs and opened the door to his room. His blue eyes scanned the dark room, but did not find Rebecca amidst the crumpled bedsheets. He sighed as his heart sunk slightly. He could still vividly remember how it felt to stand just a breath away from her. The way she had slipped the elegant dress from her shoulders, and the feeling of her skin under his fingertips. He closed the door and made his way down the hall to her bedroom. He hoped that she would still be awake. She had been right earlier – they had to talk. Too many words went unsaid in the past two years, and Tommy did not want to delay it any longer. Taking Rebecca to bed had reminded Tommy what it felt like to be truly alive. It was a completely different than the exhilarating feeling he experienced while fighting for his life. This was so much more, and certainly more powerful. For Tommy, it felt as if there was an invisible force that constantly pulled him back to Rebecca. He tried and failed to create distance between them. Despite his efforts, there was one fact that Tommy could not change. He loved her; he loved her all along. In that moment, Tommy decided that he would do anything to win his wife back. He would willingly swallow his pride and apologize every day for the rest of their lives if it meant that she would be his again. He knocked on her bedroom door before letting himself in. Once again, he found the room dark and empty. Tommy’s heart began to beat faster and faster as his mind sifted through all of the terrible possibilities. Before his brain reached the end of the torturous list, Tommy found himself running from the room and tearing down the hallway. He rushed into James’s room, but Rebecca was not there. Dread rose up from the pit of Tommy’s stomach as the realization set in. 

“Rebecca!” Tommy shouted as he hurried down the hallway. As he descended the stairs, he noticed the white envelope left on the table in the foyer. He couldn’t remember it being there when he came downstairs to deal with the Russian. Could the Russians be behind this sinister trick, Tommy wondered? He ran his fingers over the freshly dried ink – it was Rebecca’s hand writing without a doubt. His heart continued to beat like a drum as he frantically pulled the letter from the envelope. 

 

_Dear Tommy,_

_I am sorry that it has come to this, but I believe that desperate actions must be taken in order to right the wrongs between us. First, I need you to know that this decision was not made in haste. I have spent many nights contemplating this decision and the consequences of my actions. I weighed the risks, and have decided that nothing could hurt more than continuing on with this arrangement. I leave you only in search of the truth. It is my hope that by bringing the truth about my family into the light, I might someday be forgiven._

_Also, I would be amiss if I did not admit that I found tonight beautiful and exciting. Although we will be far from one another, I will cherish this night always. My heart longs to be with you, Tommy, but I fear what will become of us if I do not see this mission to the end. In time, I hope that you will forgive me for everything. I promise that I will do everything within my power to come home to you and James. However, if I do not return before this year is out, you have my blessing to consider me dead._

_Finally, I need you to know that I never stopped loving you, Tommy. I believe that it is the depths of my love for you that has enabled me to keep my vows all of these years. Even in the distance, I will love you and remain faithful to you until the day I take my final breath._

_Love,_

_Your wife  
Rebecca ___

__

__“Fuck!” Tommy cried loudly, his dark voice booming through the expansive estate. From that moment forward, there was no room for a rational thought inside Tommy’s troubled mind. His breathing grew increasingly erratic until he could no longer contain himself. He grasped the edge of the table, as if holding onto something solid would keep him from being swept away in a flood of grief. Bitter anger quickly overtook Tommy’s grief-stricken heart. He seized the vase off the table and threw it at the wall. Water dripped down the wall and pooled amongst the shards of porcelain and flower petals. The loud curses and crying, accompanied by the sound of smashing china, woke the entire house. Everyone leapt from their beds and came running down the stairs._ _

__“Thomas, what is it? What’s happened?” Polly asked as she strategically approached her nephew. Her tone was surprisingly calm, and not at all demanding. She knew how to coax information out of Tommy. She had to be methodical and could not feed into his anger. She clutched his shoulders to stop his erratic movements, but he easily tore away from her grasp. He turned toward the door without so much as an explanation amidst his uneven breaths and sobs._ _

__“Tommy!” Arthur called as he grasped his younger brother’s elbow. Tommy jerked out of Arthur’s grasp and continued onward. “Thomas! The fuck?” Arthur yelled as he continued on in pursuit. Polly, John, and Arthur begged Tommy to stop and see some reason. All of their voices blurred together in Tommy’s mind, further confusing the distraught man._ _

__“Talk to us, Tom!” John called out as Tommy threw open the front door._ _

__“You won’t catch her!” Ada hollered over the chaos. Ada’s cold words broke through the maddening blur in Tommy’s head. He stilled, and then slowly turned to face his sister._ _

__“What?” Tommy asked her sharply. “The fuck did you just say to me?” Tommy demanded as he marched over to Ada. She squared her shoulders in hopes of appearing more confident than she actually felt._ _

__“You can go after her, but there would be no sense in it.” Ada replied boldly. Tommy took in a few rapid breaths as he deciphered Ada’s words._ _

__“Tell me.” Tommy demanded, his tone dark and low._ _

__“You pushed her to this, Tommy! You and your fucking pride!” Ada shouted._ _

__“What is going on? Someone tell me. Right now!” Polly demanded as she followed Tommy over to Ada. Polly’s dark eyes shifted between Tommy and Ada, her frustration growing with every minute her questions went unanswered._ _

__“Rebecca finally left Tommy.” Ada announced to the room, her eyes never leaving Tommy’s icy glare. Given the erratic nature of Tommy’s breathing pattern, Ada assumed that he lacked the capacity to speak such words out loud to anyone yet. The room grew quiet and the expanse opened up around all of them. Tommy felt hollowed out, like he had just been drained and gutted right in his own foyer. “You pushed her away, when all she wanted was love. You selfish prick!” Ada spat as her anger ebbed._ _

__“Everyone go back to bed. Now!” Polly barked. Slowly and with much grumbling, the rest of the family slowly ascended the stairs. Arthur and John lingered until Polly dismissed them as well. “Ada, where is she?” Polly demanded. Her dark eyes shifted toward a now sorry looking Ada. On the other hand, Tommy appeared to be completely unaware of what was going on around him. He continued to pace back and forth, all the while struggling to breath and his head pulsating along with his pounding heart. He rubbed his temples as a headache set in, further precluding any rational thoughts. A nervous Polly turned her attention back to Ada. “Ada! If you know where she is, you must tell me.” Polly pressed. Ada crossed her arms over her chest and sighed sadly. Without speaking a word, Polly could tell that Ada knew everything._ _

__“I promised her that I wouldn’t say anything…” Ada whispered._ _

__“It’s too late for that, love. Speak. Tell your aunt Polly what you know.” Polly insisted. Ada looked from Polly’s dark gaze to the top of Tommy’s bowed head._ _

__“I’m sorry Tommy.” Ada said quietly. Finally, Tommy lifted his head. His blue eyes were as cold as ice, and devoid of emotion. He was an empty shell of man, just like when he came home from France._ _

__“Come on. You need a drink.” Polly said as she motioned Tommy toward his office. Tommy quickly downed two generous glasses of whiskey before he spoke a word to either of them._ _

__“Alright Ada, tell me everything.” Tommy demanded after he lit a cigarette. He sounded more like himself now, but all of the light had drained from his eyes and face. Ada shifted uncomfortably in her seat across from Tommy’s desk._ _

__“I don’t know, Tommy.” Ada replied._ _

__“No. No! None of this fucking shit about not knowing where she is or the fuck she’s doing. She’s my wife, Ada. Tell me where she’s gone.” Tommy snapped as he stood to his feet. His eyes overflowed with the pain of betrayal. Ada shifted in her chair and looked over at Polly again._ _

__“Don’t look at me for help.” Polly said as she brought a black cigarette to her lips. Ada reluctantly turned her eyes back to Tommy, who appeared only slightly more composed._ _

__“I will tell you where she’s gone in the morning.” Ada conceded._ _

__“Ada,” Polly warned. Tommy put his hands on the desk and leaned in. He nodded his head, but it was not in approval._ _

__“Tommy, you pushed her to this! Can’t you see, this is all your fault! It was you who broke her heart, her soul. She’s going to get herself killed because of you!” Ada said as she rose to her feet._ _

__“Ada! Enough!” Polly warned._ _

__“I promised Rebecca that I would help take care of James and keep you from drinking yourself into an early grave. I intend to keep my promises. That includes keeping her secrets.” Ada explained. The room fell into a tense silence. The lack of response from Tommy only fueled Ada’s fury. “Why do you care, Tommy? You don’t love her. This is about control, isn’t it?” Ada shouted, her anger spilling over again._ _

__“I forgave her, Ada. I was going to tell her in the morning.” Tommy whispered, his head hung in a painful mix of shame and sadness. “I never should have left her. Fucking Russians business.” Tommy said before he lifted his sad blue eyes. Ada’s chest felt tight. She sympathized with her brother, who seemed to be genuinely heartbroken; but she also feared betraying Rebecca’s confidence._ _

__“The Russians have made contact? ” Polly interrupted as she took a step toward Tommy’s desk._ _

__“Tonight. It’s started.” Tommy reported solemnly; his gaze shifting momentarily toward Polly._ _

__“What business do you have with Russia, Tommy?” Ada asked. Tommy turned his attention back to Ada._ _

__“It’s best if you don’t know, Ada.” Tommy replied._ _

__“That girl is a fucking liability to this family!” Polly snapped. Tommy kept his head down as he willed his wounded mind to work. “How long do you think it’ll be before word gets out that she’s run off, huh? Then it won’t be just you who’s out there looking for her. Your enemies know you don’t fear death. They know your weaknesses, Thomas. It’s her. It’s James. Your enemies know that.” Polly said, her voice growing cold._ _

__“What do you fucking care?” Tommy barked. His blue eyes suddenly ablaze with anger as he pointed an accusing finger at Polly._ _

__“You kept her here all these years, which means you probably loved her all along. She’s always been your weakness.” Polly replied. Tommy’s chest heaved as he took in a shaky breath. “Emotional decision making and poor planning lead to mistakes. Mistakes that get people killed. Let her go. If she wants to come back, she will.” Polly urged._ _

__“She’s gone to Liverpool to catch a boat to Dublin.” Ada blurted. Tommy’s head snapped toward Ada._ _

__“Fucking perfect.” Polly muttered as she rubbed her throbbing head. Tommy rounded his desk and bolted for the door._ _

__“Tommy, if you hurry you might be able to catch her.” Ada urged as she followed after Tommy._ _

__“What train is she on?” Tommy asked over his shoulder._ _

__“She took the car.” Ada replied. Tommy stopped abruptly and turned toward his sister, causing Ada to nearly run into him. Tommy’s brow knit together with confusion. “She bribed her driver to teach her about six months ago. She’s rather good at it now.” Ada explained. Tommy nodded before hurrying out the door._ _

__“Thomas! This is a mistake!” Polly called from the front steps. Her bare feet the only thing stopping her from pursuing Tommy any further. Tommy hurried toward the garage, leaving the two women behind._ _

__

__The nerve-racking journey to Liverpool could not pass quickly enough for Rebecca. She found herself constantly looking over her shoulder; her heart threatening to break as it continued to beat feverishly inside her chest. She expected Tommy to send someone to stop her – the police or the most loyal members of the Peaky Blinders. Much to her surprise, no one ever came. Perhaps, his late night business emergency had been to her advantage. The time continued to pass slowly as she waited in the queue for departures, her aching heart slowly relaxing. The process felt aggravatingly slow for the woman who just wanted to get away. Unfortunately for Rebecca there would be no quick getaway. The mistrust that stemmed from the war between the Irish people and Britain had created a divide far greater than the Irish Sea. Finally, it was Rebecca’s turn to present her paperwork to the official. She positioned a poised smile on her face; even though her heart was beating like a wild drum, and her stomach felt like a giant knot. The man looked between Rebecca and the identity papers._ _

__“Will Mr. Shelby be accompanying you?” He asked._ _

__“No, it’s just me.” Rebecca replied with all the confidence she could muster. Despite her best efforts, a cold sweat formed on her brow as her anxiety level continued to climb._ _

__“Are you from Dublin?” He inquired._ _

__“Yes, originally.” Rebecca replied. The man nodded his head and shifted his eyes back to the identity papers in his hand. “My husband is from Birmingham. I had to give up my old paperwork when I married.” Rebecca explained in hopes of assuaging the man’s concern. Her accent and identity papers were a confusing combination. The official looked up at her and back to her paperwork one last time before allowing her to pass._ _

__“Safe travels home, Mrs. Shelby.” He said as he returned her paperwork. Rebecca forced a small smile as she tucked the identity papers into her handbag; returning it to the spot next to the file. Once she boarded the ship, her decision was final. She would have to see this mission to its natural end. But where exactly it would end, Rebecca had no clue._ _

__

__Tommy ran through the deserted departure zone; two officials in hot pursuit of the trespasser. Tommy stopped listening to them when they told him that only ticket holders could enter. He was deaf to the fact that they also explained the boat to Dublin departed twenty minutes ago. He proceeded to jump the barricade and took off running. Polly had been right, as she usual was when it came to matters of the heart. The emotional heat of it all, prevented him from seeing reason. One of the officials caught hold of his arm as he tried to pass through the final departure check point. He struggled against the man, and eventually threw him to the ground before continuing on. He looked around frantically. There was not a single vessel in sight. He was too late. He took in a trembling breath as he put his hands on his knees. He was too fucking late._ _

__

__Rebecca hoped that she would feel some comfort in returning home, like a prodigal child of some sort. Instead, she felt sorely out of place. Ada had warned her about the tension and the bad blood. Unfortunately for Rebecca, she didn’t believe it until she was in the midst of it. As soon as Rebecca’s heels stepped onto Irish soil, she deeply regretted not listening to her sister in law’s advice. For such a short statured woman, she stood out amongst the crowd. Her hair, makeup, and clothing were far too modern and British for her hometown. The dock workers slowed to look her up and down as they passed her by. Their expressions not the least bit friendly or flattering. Rebecca knew that it would only get worse once she explained herself. The thought made her want to chuckle and vomit at the same time. She had run away from her people, her homeland, in the middle of a war. To add insult to the injury, she had married a wealthy British man. Her situation would not be looked upon fondly. For fear of Tommy’s long reaching arm, and the fury of her own people, Rebecca decided that she would make every attempt to keep her story secret. She located a room for rent from an elderly woman named O’Brien. The woman did not ask any questions, and Rebecca did not freely offer any information about herself. The old woman did express a small concern when her new tenant spent the first few days locked up in her room. Rebecca reassured the woman that nothing was amiss, claiming exhaustion from her journey. She just needed some time to get her bearings. Finally on the fourth day, Rebecca rose early to prepare herself for her first task. She pulled her wavy hair back into a simple low bun, and slipped into a simple dress. The style was a bit too modern compared to what most women in Dublin were wearing, but she would have to make due. A cardigan would serve as a disguise for the over the shoulder holster and gun. She shrugged on a light overcoat and turned to the mirror. As she took in a deep breath, she summoned all of her courage and stepped into the unknown._ _

__

__“Mrs. Shelby, it is a pleasure to meet you.” Mr. Gallagher said as he shook her hand and ushered her into his office. Mr. Gallagher was a short statured gentleman in his late forties. He was dressed in a perfectly tailored black suit. According to Ada’s research, he had been richly rewarded for his loyalty to the IRA during the war. Rebecca sent a letter requesting a meeting prior to her leaving England. She did so with the hope that he would succeed in obtaining the information she needed._ _

__“Mr. Gallagher, thank you for agreeing to meet with me.” Rebecca said with a polite smile. He motioned for her to sit down in a chair in front of his desk._ _

__“Well, your letter certainly captured my attention. Not many women send me letters asking after deceased relatives.” He replied as he took his seat behind the great wooden desk. “Why don’t you start by telling me more about how I can be of service to you?” He inquired as he folded his hands atop the desk and leaned in._ _

__“As I mentioned in my letter, I am seeking information regarding my father. He died in 1914, when I was just sixteen. Two years ago, some documentation came into my possession which suggest he did not die of natural causes. I do not trust the morals of the man who acquired the information; therefore, I must question the validity of the entire collection. To be honest with you, Mr. Gallagher, I don’t know who I can trust to tell me the truth.” Rebecca explained. Mr. Gallagher relaxed back into his chair, a smile set on his face._ _

__“And you believe that I can be of some help to you?” He questioned._ _

__“I certainly hope so.” Rebecca replied._ _

__“How exactly did you come across my name? Your letter was addressed from Birmingham of all places. I don’t believe I have any acquaintances in the West Midlands.” He inquired in an attempt to sound casual. Rebecca found the man’s forced tone and actions odd. He was straining himself in an attempt to appear relaxed. His posture and smile stood out awkwardly against the growing tension in the room._ _

__“My sister in law. She’s a smart woman, clever too.” Rebecca replied. Mr. Gallagher nodded his head as he clicked his tongue._ _

__“Why don’t you tell me what you really want from me, Mrs. Shelby?” Mr. Gallagher pressed. Rebecca shifted forward in her seat, her dark blue eyes unwavering._ _

__“I know you sympathized with the IRA during the war. You used your knowledge to help bring about this new government. That means you have friends in high places.” Rebecca explained. Mr. Gallagher’s small smile turned to a sly smirk at her words._ _

__“Some gall you have coming here.” He replied with a small chuckle._ _

__“I suspected that you would be privy to information that the IRA would prefer to keep secret.” Rebecca continued._ _

__“Are you implying that the IRA had something to do with your father’s death?” He inquired as he shifted forward in his chair._ _

__“Two IRA men killed my mother. Is it so hard to believe that they killed my father too?” Rebecca replied carefully._ _

__“And what if I did have access to such information?” He asked, his tone rather skeptical._ _

__“A fair trade. I get the truth and you get paid.” Rebecca suggested._ _

__“I will do what I can to assist you Mrs. Shelby, but I’m not prepared to promise you anything.” He replied._ _

__“So we agree to a fair trade then?” Rebecca asked as she stood to her feet._ _

__“Yes,” Mr. Gallagher replied. Rebecca nodded her head before turning to leave._ _

__“Oh, there is one more thing I would like you to look into.” Rebecca said as she turned in the doorway. “I am looking for a man named Joseph O’Sullivan.”_ _

__“Is he your source?” Mr. Gallagher inquired._ _

__“No. My source hailed from Ulster.” Rebecca replied. “Anyways my source has been dead for two years, and I know exactly where he’s buried.” Rebecca explained. The glimmer in Rebecca’s blue eyes confirmed Mr. Gallagher’s suspicion that she was capable of far more than she initially led on. He stood up behind from behind his desk, uncertain of how to proceed. “I suggest you do your research, Mr. Gallagher. You are welcome to inquire about me as well. You may be surprised at what you find.” Rebecca said boldly before leaving the stunned man behind. As she walked away, all that Rebecca could think was that she had shown all her cards. She had posed herself as a force to be reckoned with, and now all she could do was wait._ _


	4. Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected family reunion takes place over a piece of bread. Danger finally finds Rebecca; and poor Ada is just trying to keep Tommy from burning the house down.

Darkness  
Three Weeks Later

_Rebecca shifted in the bed; the warm summer sunshine slowly pulling her from sleep. She arched her stiff back before turning over onto her left side. A smile pulled at the corners of Tommy’s lips as he watched his wife stir beside him. He reached out his hand and tenderly brushed his fingers against her delicate skin. Her eyelashes fluttered open as the gentle connection pulled her further from her sleep. Rebecca lazily opened her deep blue eyes to find Tommy’s soft smile and bright blue eyes gazing back at her. A smile tugged at her own lips as she shifted closer to the warmth of Tommy’s bare chest. He instinctively wrapped her in his arms and pulled her flush against his chest._

_“Good morning.” Tommy whispered into her hair. Rebecca’s soft smile grew, and she closed her eyes again; Tommy’s warmth gently lulling her back to sleep._

_“Morning.” Rebecca mumbled, her voice thick with sleep._

_“You were dreaming.” Tommy commented. He shifted them more upright and leaned against the pillows. Despite the overwhelming desire for more sleep, Rebecca held tight to Tommy’s strong forearms and allowed him to pull her into an upright position._

_“Mhm,” She replied quietly._

_“Tell me about it.” Tommy encouraged her as he ran his fingertips gently over her arms._

_“I was dreaming about the future.” Rebecca replied. Tommy simply hummed in response, his fingers continuing their dance over her exposed shoulders and arms. “We are going to have loads of children.” Rebecca informed him. Tommy chuckled softly into her hair._

_“Is that right?” He inquired. His tone was light, and surprisingly full of humor; especially given the hour._

_“Yes. We are going to have two boys and two girls.” Rebecca replied confidently. With her eyes closed, she could picture each of them vividly._

_“And what’ll this one be, eh?” Tommy asked before planting a delicate kiss on her shoulder. His left hand instinctively slid over her swollen belly. The flutter of kicks that met Tommy’s palm brought a wide smile to his face. The pair remained still and allowed themselves a moment to enjoy the sweet peace of the late summer morning. Tommy gently rubbed his hand over Rebecca’s belly in a soothing circular motion. Soon the room fell into comfortable silence. Tommy simply listened to Rebecca’s slow breaths in and out. For a moment, he allowed his own eyes to close. The absolute contentment he felt made it easy for him to relax into sleep once again. The pair drifted further into sleep as the birds chirped outside their bedroom window. Their serene silence came to an end when the door opened and James came flying into the bedroom. Rebecca and Tommy opened their eyes and sat straight up at the sound of the door reverberating off the wall._

_“Good morning!” James enthusiastically greeted his parents. Tommy had to wonder how long his son had been awake. It was nearly nine o’clock, yet he was still dressed in his light blue pajama top and bottoms. And where was his nanny for fuck sake? Obviously not keeping him occupied elsewhere._

_“Good morning, dear.” Rebecca replied._

_“James, you know better. You are meant to knock and wait to be invited in before you enter a room.” Tommy reminded his son. His bright blue eyes meeting their match, who stood dejected at the foot of the bed_

_“Sorry, dad.” James apologized softly._

_“You want to come up?” Tommy asked, his tone lightening dramatically. James nodded his head with such excitement that Tommy feared he would hurt his neck. “Right. Get up here then.” Tommy said as opened his left arm and made room for the little boy beside his mother. James tucked himself under his father’s arm but snuggled close to his mother’s side. The little boy reached over to touch Rebecca’s belly, his bright blue eyes wide with curiosity._

_“Gentle.” Rebecca said as she guided James’s hand to the same spot where the baby had kicked earlier. James’s bright blue eyes lit up as soon as he felt his sibling kick against his hand._

_“I felt it!” James announced proudly. Tommy laughed and placed his own hand over the spot. Once again the baby kicked, greeting his father for the second time that morning._

_“Have you had your breakfast?” Tommy inquired, changing the subject entirely. James shook his head no. “What do you say, you go get yourself dressed and we can all eat together?” Tommy suggested. James nodded his head; the boy was absolutely delighted with the prospect of spending the morning with both parents. He scooted off the bed and proceeded to run out the door._

_“Oi! Close the door!” Tommy called after his son. James popped back into view just long enough to close the door before he ran back to his room in search of a suitable outfit. Tommy laughed, which caused Rebecca to laugh along with him._

_“Alright, I’ve got to get up.” Rebecca said as she moved to the edge of the bed and stood. She arched her back in an attempt to ease the discomfort before moving toward the bathroom._

_“Rebecca…” Tommy said, his voice wavering dangerously._

_“What?” She asked, turning back toward the bed. Her smile fell as she took in her husband’s haunted expression._

_“Shit. Rebecca, you’re bleeding.” Tommy said as he moved quickly to her side. Rebecca looked down at the bright red bloom of blood on her white nightgown. A shocked hand flew up to cover her gaping mouth. A loud gasp filled the room when she stepped back and discovered the quickly expanding pool of blood around her ankles._

_“No! No! No!” Rebecca sobbed hysterically as she clung to Tommy’s neck. Her desperation was quickly overcome by the reality that there was nothing either one of them could do to stop the steady stream of sticky blood from cascading down her legs. ___

__

__Rebecca shot upright in her bed and opened her deep blue eyes wide. Her thin white nightgown was drenched with sweat and stuck uncomfortably to her chest. Frantically, she pushed back the covers from her legs. No blood. She couldn’t find even the smallest drop on herself or the sheets. It had all been a nightmare, a terrible nightmare she told herself. Rebecca brought a shaky hand to her damp chest as she gulped for breath. Suddenly, the sensation of warm bile rose up into her throat. She gagged and barely had enough time to lean over the edge of the bed before she emptied her stomach onto the floor. She collapsed back onto her pillow and attempted to draw in a deep breath. Tears stung her eyes as all the fear and sorrow from her dream crept into reality. Oh, how her heart longed to be able to reach over and touch Tommy’s warm chest, or hold James tight against her side. There in a worn out single bed, Rebecca’s heart ached so much that she swore it tore clean in two pieces. She brought her hand up to cover her mouth before the sobs left her lips. Rebecca turned onto her side and pulled her legs up to her chest. She clutched her stomach as the painful reality of her loneliness tore through her soul._ _

__The first weeks in Ireland lacked even the slightest, most minuscule development. Mr. Gallagher had not sent word of any news, nor scheduled another meeting. Time continued to march forward at a painfully slow pace for Rebecca. The guilt of separation tearing further into her aching heart as every day slipped by. She began to wonder if her journey would be for nothing. The prospect of returning home empty handed made Rebecca feel physically ill. She had gambled everything. She had bet that all the pain and heartache of separation would be worth the satisfaction of bringing home the truth._ _

__At the beginning of her fourth week away, Rebecca was heartbroken and beyond fed up. Her frustration had reached the boiling point. Unwilling to wait on Mr. Gallagher for all the answers, Rebecca made a drastic decision. She went home – to the bakery. It had been her grandfather’s and then was willed to her father. The small apartment above the bakery her childhood home. Every morning, the smell of her father’s freshly baked bread would waft up from the shop below. There were many good memories tied up in that little apartment. Those good memories were hidden away now, like ghosts trapped in the rotting walls. Rebecca’s homecoming provided her no comfort; not that she had been foolish enough to hope. The bell above the door was a cheery welcome as Rebecca entered the shop. However, the sight that met her blue eyes was far from inviting. The paint was chipping in numerous places, while in some spots the wallpaper bubbled from exposure to the damp. The paint was just a subtle tipoff that the apartment above was likely in an even worse state of disrepair. The floorboards creaked in agony as she stepped further into the shop. Rebecca feared that the floor would give way with every step she took. The state of affairs was disheartening. The bakery had been her father’s pride and joy, now it lay in ruins. As Rebecca looked around the dilapidated shop she almost welcomed the idea of the floor opening up beneath her feet. Perhaps giving into the void would be easier than facing the pain of reality. It was a foolish thought filled with the vain hope of escaping the pain of life. Rebecca banished the thoughts as quickly as they came to her. She certainly couldn’t afford to be caught off guard._ _

Behind the counter was an elderly man reading a newspaper. The bell should have alerted the man to the presence of a customer, but so far he hadn’t bothered to look up at her. The bell above the door rang again and a red headed girl scurried up to the counter. She was barely tall enough to see over the counter; a frustrating feeling that Rebecca remembered all too well. Rebecca watched the girl slide a single coin across the counter toward the man. The sound of money perked the man’s interest and prompted him to lift his eyes. He turned around, searching the bread baskets behind the counter. He selected the smallest, most measly looking bun for the girl. She must have been starving the way she snatched the pathetic piece of bread out of his hand. With a bun in hand, the girl quickly turned to leave. Rebecca gasped loudly as she came face to face with the little girl. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed tightly in someone’s hand. Slowly, she took in the striking combination of the girl’s long red hair and piercing green eyes. _Sarah. _She looked exactly like Sarah. The tears stung Rebecca’s blue eyes as she felt increasingly overwhelmed with the prospect of staying in the shop for another moment. All she could see was Sarah. The memories returned like a flood – a wave of pain crashing overtop of her. A young, smiling Sarah as she ran through the church yard, Sarah the blushing bride, Sarah the battered woman, Sarah the dead woman. Rebecca choked on the tears that gathered in her throat. She covered her mouth and forced herself to swallow the thick substance rising in her throat before rushing out into the street. She only made it one block down before the bile forced its way up into her mouth. She bent over and emptied her stomach in the entrance of the nearest alleyway. It was a fucking nightmare, she told herself. _A terrible fucking nightmare. _She closed her eyes and hoped that she would somehow wake up at home with Tommy and James. But when her blurry blue eyes opened she was met by the same old crowded streets. Heartbroken and anxious, Rebecca wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and stood up straight.____

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

______“Are you alright?” A timid voice asked. Rebecca turned on her heel toward the little voice behind her. To her surprise, it was the little girl from the shop. The girl’s striking resemblance to Sarah, coupled with her close proximity, instantly dried Rebecca’s mouth. Unable to formulate words, Rebecca simply stared at the girl for well over a minute._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Uh…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are you alright, lady?” She asked again. The girl’s timid voice and fear filled green eyes pulled Rebecca from her stationary state of mind._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes. Yes, I’ll be alright. It’s sweet of you to worry.” Rebecca replied, feeling rather idiotic._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You don’t look alright.” The little girl pointed out. Rebecca crouched down so that she was eye level with the little girl._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You remind me of someone I used to know.” Rebecca replied solemnly. Her deep blue eyes conveying all the sadness and pain that came along with Sarah’s memory._ _ _ _ _ _

______“And that makes you sick?” The girl asked, her green eyes shifting curiously._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes, but that’s not your fault.” Rebecca said as she forced a reassuring smile to her face._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Kathleen!” A deep voice bellowed from the crowd. The girl’s face drained of all color and her back stiffened with fear. “Kathleen!” The man shouted again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I have to go.” Kathleen said, an unmistakable fear flashing across her deep green eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Wait!” Rebecca begged as she took hold of her small hand. “Wait just a second. What’s your name?” Rebecca asked quickly._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Kathleen.” She replied as she pulled her arm away. Rebecca looked down at Kathleen’s bruised forearm just before the girl crossed her arms in an effort to hide them. Her heart hurt for the little girl. It was obvious she was not being looked after. Her general appearance made that much clear._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I mean your family name. What is it?” Rebecca begged once again. The little girl looked over her shoulder for the bellowing voice before turning back to Rebecca._ _ _ _ _ _

______“O’Sullivan.” Kathleen replied. Rebecca couldn’t keep from smiling as the tears fell freely from her deep blue eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Kathleen O’Sullivan.” Rebecca repeated happily. “I knew your mother.” She whispered through thick tears._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Kathleen!” The man yelled again. Rebecca and Kathleen both turned toward the voice in the crowd._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I have to go. My dad doesn’t like it when he can’t find me.” Kathleen explained. Rebecca nodded. The last thing she wanted was for the little girl to get smacked around on account of her. Especially if her father was in fact Joseph O’Sullivan._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Of course. Go. Go.” Rebecca said as she forced another smile to her face. The little girl ran down the street, back toward the bakery, and into the crowd of people in the street. Rebecca released the loud sob she managed to hold back until now. The tears fell without restraint; her heart relieved and broken all at once. When she returned to her room, she found a letter from Mr. Gallagher. He wanted a meeting with her in the morning. Rebecca smiled as she held the letter in her hand. For the first time in many weeks, she felt a small sliver of hope begin to break through the darkness._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rebecca barely slept that night. She tossed and turned from side to side before settling onto her back. She stared up at the ceiling; the mixture of anticipation and dread too strong for sleep to overcome. When the sun finally peeked over the rooftops, Rebecca eagerly rose from her bed and prepared herself to meet Mr. Gallagher. She selected a simple light blue dress with a modest neck and hemline. With her revolver tucked securely underneath her dress, she pulled on her overcoat and closed the door to her room. It was early. The clock in the hallway had not passed eight, so she quietly shut the front door and locked it behind her. Hope and anticipation had bloomed within her like a flower in the summer sunshine. She turned in the direction of Mr. Gallagher’s office and walked along at a casual pace. The summer morning was so lovely and peaceful, Rebecca couldn’t help but enjoy it._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Mary O’Neill!” A male voice called from behind. Rebecca’s right hand flew to her hip as adrenaline poured into her bloodstream. She grasped for the gun frantically, but her hand got caught up in the fabric of her dress and coat. She continued to struggle against the crushing grip of his hand and kicked at his shins with her heels. Her fight continued even after he pressed the cloth to her face. It was strangely sweet smelling. She took in a deep breath in order to scream, but the drug had incapacitated her before she ever had the chance. The man removed the cloth from her nose and mouth only after her body fell limply into his arms. He clasped his hands around her chest, his forearms supporting her weight underneath both arms. Her heels drug against the uneven cobblestone sidewalk as he pulled her toward the waiting car. Rebecca’s head bounced hard off the leather upholstery of the backseat as the man tossed her in. The sudden, harsh movement and a breath of fresh air jolted Rebecca’s eyes open. Her eyelids felt as heavy as lead. It took all of her strength just to keep one eye open wide enough to look around. All she could make out was the tops of the houses. Warm halos obscured her vision, which made it impossible to see who slid into the seat beside her. The drug loomed like a thick black cloud of smoke in Rebecca’s brain. The weight of it pulling her further and further into the darkness until her heavy eyes closed. Despite the rush of adrenaline surging through her veins, she could not fight off the intoxicating and disorienting drug._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Ada knocked on the door to Tommy’s home office. After a long day the last thing Ada wanted to do was speak to her older brother, but it had to be done. The night before James cried the entire night; making for a miserable day. Ada promised Rebecca that she would help Tommy care for James, but she never guessed that she would end up as the sole caregiver. Most days, Ada felt like she was caring for three boys. Karl, James, and Tommy. Tommy had taken to drinking all day and night until he would black out. Ada was accustomed to hearing Tommy stumble blindly up the stairs somewhere between three and four o’clock. If Tommy wasn’t drunk, he was gone on business. Ada assumed that it was Russian business. But it was impossible to confirm her suspicions considering no one would speak to her about it. When she opened the door to Tommy’s office, all she could do was sigh._ _ _ _ _ _

______“For fucks sake, Tommy.” Ada muttered as she moved to where Tommy sat on the floor in front of the fire. His back was slouched and his feet were stretched out in front of him like a large child. His blue eyes were fixated on the dying fire in the hearth. Between two fingers was a burning cigarette held dangerously close to the carpet, while the other gripped a half empty bottle of whiskey. There was no doubt in Ada’s mind that Tommy had been piss drunk for many hours now. Tommy did not respond to his sister’s words. He was angry and hurt. In truth, he partially blamed her for the turmoil in his life. Despite his personal feelings towards his baby sister, Tommy would not dismiss her from the house. He needed her help. He couldn’t care for his son. After the first time James asked Tommy where his mother had gone, he had hardly seen the boy. “Are you going to say goodnight to your son?” Ada inquired, her tone sharpening along with her growing frustration._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No.” Tommy replied. His voice sounded hollow and flat. He felt hollowed out – not that he would ever admit it out loud._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Why not?” Ada asked, pressing her luck. James had not been the same since Rebecca left. He was waking up in the night again, tears streaming down his face as he cried out for his mother. “He misses her too, you know.” Ada added. Tommy smiled bitterly at the dying fire and scoffed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Why? Why did she have to do it, Ada?” Tommy asked, his eyes still focused on the fire. Ada sighed and looked up at the ceiling before she answered._ _ _ _ _ _

______“She didn’t have a choice. It was the only way she could think to really bring you two back together.” Ada replied._ _ _ _ _ _

______“So she runs off? Abandoning her son… abandoning us? For what?” Tommy questioned, his volume increasing with his anger._ _ _ _ _ _

______“She-”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“She had a choice, Ada! She could have stayed.” Tommy fired back in protest. “She could have stayed with me.” Tommy whispered._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No… no she couldn’t, Tommy. She would have always felt that there was something between the two of you. You may not be able to see it, but she only wants to make things right.” Ada explained._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, if you ask me, it all looks pretty fucked around here. Don’t you think?” Tommy asked. He shifted his blue eyes to the side, finally meeting his sister’s eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It would be whole lot better if you sobered up and spent some fucking time with your son.” Ada replied as she stood to her feet. Tommy looked up from his position on the floor. Her expression was much less delicate and gentle now. He turned back to the fire and brought the cigarette back to his lips._ _ _ _ _ _

______“He’s going to ask me where she is… and I don’t have an answer to give him.” Tommy whispered as his voice threatened to break._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You tell him that she loves him very much. That she has gone on a trip. That she will come home and when she does, she will tell him all about it.” Ada replied. She expected Tommy to protest the idea; to scoff and brush her off. Instead, the room fell into a heavy silence. The room so quiet that Ada swore she could hear Tommy choke back his tears._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What if she doesn’t come back?” Tommy asked, his voice broken with tears. Ada dropped to her knees and circled her arms around Tommy’s shoulders. It didn’t take long for the chest rattling sobs to emerge from Tommy’s lips. He let go of the whiskey bottle and the remaining contents spilt onto the carpet. He buried his head in Ada’s arm and clung to her for dear life; as if she could somehow save him the pain he felt._ _ _ _ _ _

______“She’s going to come home. I promise.” Ada whispered into the long strands of Tommy’s hair. Despite Ada’s comforting words, Tommy’s tears did not slow for a long while. When he did pull away from her, his cheeks were stained with tears and his blue eyes bloodshot red._ _ _ _ _ _

______“If anything happens to her, I won’t be able to forgive myself.” Tommy admitted._ _ _ _ _ _

______“She’s strong and smart. You taught her to shoot yourself. She’ll be alright.” Ada tried to reassure him once again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No. Ada, listen to me. I won’t be able to forgive myself because I could have stopped this fucking absurd plan.” Tommy said as he turned back to the fire. “How am I supposed to explain to my son that I could have brought his mother home safe, but chose not to? What if I have to tell him that she won’t be coming home at all?” Tommy asked the fading flames._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You were respecting her wishes.” Ada replied softly._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I fucking let it happen! Didn’t I? I chose to do damage control in the interest of the family business. Can’t have anyone thinking the Shelby’s are weak. I have to do what’s best for the company.” Tommy spat with such self-loathing that Ada scarcely knew what to do with him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Stop it!” Ada shouted as she stood up straight, this time moving further away from him. The abrupt shift in her voice startled Tommy and brought his eyes up to meet her. “Enough! Enough of this feeling sorry for yourself. This has to stop. You’re going to kill yourself drinking the way you are. Then what? Your son loses his father? What if you fall asleep with a cigarette in your hand again? You’ll light the whole fucking house on fire and kill the lot of us! Then the company will go to shit because you aren’t there to keep everyone in line. You made some bad choices, Rebecca did too, we all do from time to time.” Ada shouted._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Shut up! Just shut up!” Tommy shouted as he stumbled to his feet. He swayed heavily back and forth. The excessive alcohol in his bloodstream made him see double of everything, which made standing nearly impossible._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Then pull it together!” Ada shouted. She paused and took a deep breath in order to calm herself. “You survived France, you will survive this too. I know this hurts. You can make it through, Tommy, but you have to pull yourself together.” Ada said, her voice softening. Tommy’s blue eyes glistened with tears again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Is he asleep?” Tommy asked, his eyes drifting down to look at the whiskey stained carpet._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes, for the time being.” Ada replied._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Can I go in and see him?” Tommy asked as he lifted his eyes to meet Ada’s._ _ _ _ _ _

______“He’s your son.” Ada countered. Tommy turned and made an attempt to move toward the door, but he veered hard right. Tommy’s tumbled to the floor in the most ungraceful manner. Ada rushed to help him up and prevent him from injuring himself any further. The last thing she needed was to be placing any late night telephone calls to the doctor. “Maybe in the morning.” Ada suggested as she helped him to toward the door. Tommy’s balance was dismal, even with Ada’s support._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah, alright.” Tommy agreed as he stumbled forward. He blinked his blurry blue eyes before allowing Ada to help him up to bed._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Rebecca’s awareness slowly returned. She had no idea how much time had elapsed. It felt as if she had disappeared into a black hole. At first, she wondered if she was even still alive. She couldn’t open her eyes or move. All of her energy and concentration was focused on breathing. It felt as if a great big man was crushing her chest and she had to force her lungs to expand despite the extra weight. The air that entered her aching lungs was cool and damp, which seemed odd for the summer time. After a while, it was not so hard for her to breath anymore. She gathered her strength and forced her heavy eyes to open. Immediately, she clamped them shut again. The bright sunlight burning her dry eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of out death.” A man recited the prayer slowly. His tone full of deep reverence._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey, I think she’s back with us.” A familiar voice said as he moved closer. All Rebecca could make out was two black blobs that were moving closer._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Our Mary has awoken. Thank you Father, for your timely prayers.” A voice echoed as he stepped closer. Rebecca flinched and shifted away from the approaching dark figures. She was painfully aware of her vulnerability. She was without her basic senses and in the company of numerous men. There was no good that could come from such a scenario._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Please.” Rebecca croaked, her voice painfully dry. “Don’t hurt me.” Rebecca begged blindly. Her blurry vision and the echo in her head only adding to her fear._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You misunderstand us. We just want information. Our trade, you remember? We aren’t going to hurt you.” The familiar voice assured her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Please,” Rebecca breathed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I baptized you, Mary O’Neill. I would not harm a hair on your head.” Rebecca blinked her eyes rapidly; desperate to clear her vision. Finally, her vision came into focus and she came face to face with Father O’Shea. Her deep blue eyes widening with surprise. She shifted her gaze back and forth wildly between Father O’Shea, Mr. Gallagher, and the other strange man. The temperature in the damp room seemed to rise rapidly to Rebecca. She felt the heat rush up into her face, making the nausea too much to hold at bay. Rebecca coughed and then gagged on the acid rising up from her stomach. Thankfully, she was already laying on her side. She highly doubted she would have been able to turn onto her side in her weakened state._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh god.” Rebecca muttered in shock. “What’s wrong with me?” Rebecca finally asked. Her voice weak and fading._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Chloroform. Works well.” The strange man replied. His dark eyes flashed with delight as he examined his incapacitated victim._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Do shut up, doctor!” Mr. Gallagher snapped._ _ _ _ _ _

______“She’s fine. She woke up… just took her a little while.” The doctor countered._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Why… why am I…” Rebecca asked, her voice failing again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I am sorry, Mrs. Shelby. My contacts prefer to conduct business in their own way.” Mr. Gallagher explained as he bent down next to Rebecca’s head. Feeling too breathless to respond, Rebecca turned her head up just enough to meet Mr. Gallagher’s eyes. To her horror, the simple action was extremely taxing._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Alright, move aside.” The doctor said pushing Gallagher aside. Rebecca gathered her strength and hatred before meeting his eyes. The bastard had drugged her frighteningly close to death. She would kill him, if only she had the strength. “So what should we call you, Mary or Rebecca? You ran away from your people in the middle of a war. Shameful. Bet you thought you were smart using a false name, didn’t you?” He asked. The arrogance in his tone and facial expression was breathtaking, or perhaps that was just the drug hanging heavy in her lungs._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Rebecca.” She whispered. The doctor reached down and gently stroked Rebecca’s face, his eyes staring deeply into hers. Without warning he slapped her cheek firmly, but the skin did not sting. Rebecca was satisfied with drawing breath; responding to an assault was completely beyond her capacity. Her blue eyes widened slightly, but that was the only indication that she felt him hit her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Patrick!” Father O’Shea cautioned his partner._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Explain yourself! Why did you come back? You took on a false name and ran away. Sounds like a girl who wanted to leave the past behind. Tell me the real reason you’re here.” The doctor pressed again. He grasped her chin between his finger, providing a little motivation for her to answer quickly._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Answers.” Rebecca replied. Patrick was squeezing her chin so tight that it was nearly impossible to breath and explain herself all at once._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh, we will get answers.” He said. Rebecca’s eyes rolled back into her head as she slowly slipped back into the darkness. Frustrated, Patrick tossed her back to the floor and stood up._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I told you that you used too much!” Mr. Gallagher said. His eyes fixed on the frightfully pale woman tied up on the floor._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh, are you the expert on anesthesia now? I’m sorry, when did you go to medical school?” Patrick snapped as he returned to where his partners stood watching._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You were the one who wanted to drug her! We didn’t have to do it like this. There were other ways to vet her.” Mr. Gallagher hissed through his grit teeth. He shook his head at his partner, obviously displeased with his cavalier use of drugs. “It’s your fault if she dies.” He snapped._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Fault and blame only apply if there is anyone to miss her. Who’s going to miss an orphan?” Patrick replied offhandedly._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Her rich husband!” Mr. Gallagher replied, his tone increasingly frantic. Patrick scoffed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Some rich Brit doesn’t scare me.” Patrick replied._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Maybe it should!” Mr. Gallagher shouted. “I did my research, Patrick. Thomas Shelby sells automobiles, but the family business is gambling and protection.” Mr. Gallagher explained._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Rich husband or not, I was never involved.” Patrick replied as he squared up to Gallagher. “She was never here. I don’t know what happened to her. And it certainly won’t be my fault if she ends up floating face down in the river.” Patrick said before he turned and collected his suit jacket. “I have to get home. Bridget will be waiting with dinner.” He called over his shoulder. Gallagher and O’Shea shared a silent look._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I will watch her. If she wakes up, I’ll phone you first.” Father O’Shea promised. Mr. Gallagher nodded and took a final look at Rebecca before returning his cap to his head and taking his leave._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has commented and left kudos! It means so much me, and it helps me know if you like where the story is going.


	5. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay in posting this chapter. I wrote it and just wasn’t happy with it, so I decided to completely rewrite it and then took forever editing. I hope you all think it is worth the wait.

Confessions

Tommy’s blue eyes fluttered open at first light. Since his days of military service, he found it impossible to sleep past six in the morning. It was a real problem, considering he rarely went up to bed before two o’clock in the morning. He rubbed his tired blue eyes before reluctantly sitting up on the side of the bed. As he reached for the cigarettes on his bedside table, the blurry memories of the night prior came back into focus. He squeezed his eyes closed and sighed. The letter. It sat there on his bedside table; a mocking and painful reminder of his lamenting the night prior. Wasted on a combination of whiskey and gin, Tommy had scribbled down a heartbreaking plea to his wife. _‘I love you. I’m sorry. Please come home. I can’t live without you. Our son needs his mother.’ _He felt foolish for writing down such personal information in the first place. After all, he had no address to send it to. Tommy shoved the letter into the drawer and moved to the window as frustration washed over him once again. He smoked his first cigarette in silence before selecting a crisp charcoal suit for his Sunday. Satisfied with his appearance after a fresh shave, he descended the stairs and took his place at the head of the long table. Unsurprisingly, Mary watched as Tommy stared aimlessly at his breakfast tray and smoked another cigarette.__

__At half past seven, Tommy climbed the stairs to retrieve his son. As he entered the nursery, Tommy found James and Karl playing on the floor with a few toy cars between them. Both little boys were blissfully ignorant to the turmoil spinning around them. Ada looked up from her seat near the window. A warm smile forming at the sight of Tommy returning to his son’s life._ _

__“Good morning,” Ada greeted him. Tommy nodded and took another step closer._ _

__“Morning.” He replied. James turned, a wide smile breaking onto his face at the sound of Tommy’s smooth deep voice._ _

__“Daddy!” James shouted excitedly as he scrambled to his feet to greet his father. Tommy gently ruffled the little boy’s hair before bending down to meet his eyes. Ada leaned forward, her smile widening at the unfolding scene._ _

__“It’s Sunday. Do you know what that means?” Tommy asked. James shook his head, which brought a pained smile to Tommy’s lips. “I thought that we could go see the horses. Like we used to before…” Tommy looked down to hide the sorrow that was etched on his face. He had promised himself that he would not expose his son to the burdens that weighed so heavily on his shoulders._ _

__“Yes please! Can we ride? Please, please!” The little boy begged as he wrapped his arms around his father’s tense shoulders. Tommy wrapped his arms around his son and buried his face in James’s shoulder. A sigh slipped from Tommy’s lips as he relinquished the burdens from his shoulders, if only temporarily._ _

__“Maybe… if you are very well behaved.” Tommy replied, his blue eyes rising to meet Ada’s. Her smile grew and she nodded him on._ _

__“Have a lovely time.” Ada said._ _

__Tommy carried James across the gravel drive and all the way down the path to the stables. The little boy babbled on in his father’s ear the entire time, but Tommy didn’t mind. It had been such a long time since he had done anything besides work, drink, and plan the robbery. Initially, Tommy’s grief and anger kept him from his son; but now he realized the comfort his son could provide. James was a connection to Rebecca. A fact that he had previously failed to recognize. As they approached the stables, James wiggled out of his father’s arms and took off toward his favorite horse. Tommy let him run ahead and took the opportunity to light another cigarette._ _

__“Can we go riding? Please!” James begged over and over again. It took a few minutes of begging from the small boy before Tommy caved into his son’s request. Tommy promptly summoned one of the stable hands to prepare his son’s favorite horse._ _

__“I don’t believe we’ve met. Thomas Shelby.” Tommy introduced himself to the boy. The stable hand stopped what he was doing and stared at Tommy’s outstretched hand. “What’s your name?” Tommy asked._ _

__“Matthew.” He replied as he shook his employers hand. It was evident, but not surprising to Tommy, that the boy was afraid._ _

__“How long have you worked for me, Matthew?” Tommy asked as he looked over his shoulder to check on James._ _

__“I worked for Mrs. Shelby for six months, but the horses are new to me. I used to accompany Mrs. Shelby on her Sunday outings. When she told me that she was going away for a while, she said that I could work here until she returned. She has been kind to me, and my family.” Matthew replied. Tommy nodded._ _

__“I see.” Tommy replied, the mention of his wife causing him visible pain. “Tell me, where is it the two of you went?” Tommy asked._ _

__“Back through the tall grass and into the trees a ways.” Matthew replied. “I hope that she will return home soon, Mr. Shelby.” Matthew said before returning to his duties. Soon Tommy and James were making their way through the tall grass behind Arrow House. Tommy kept a leisurely pace considering he had to hold James with in one hand and guide the horse with the other. He found the gun range hidden quite a ways back in the woods. Tommy released James to play with the sticks and rocks nearby before lighting a cigarette and venturing further. He wandered aimlessly as he surveyed the area; his mind painting vivid imagines of his wife. His icy blue eyes slid closed as he turned his face to the heavens. Memories of Rebecca’s vibrant smile and deep blue eyes danced in his head. Tommy stood still and allowed himself to drown in her memory. His heart ached with want. To hear her smooth Irish accent once more, to hold her close, and kiss her lips. After a while, Tommy shoved the pain and longing back down to the aching pit in his stomach. He called out for James to return, and bent down to his son’s eye level._ _

__“James, I know that you have asked your aunt Ada questions about mama.” Tommy started, but wavered when he suddenly had no idea how to proceed._ _

__“I miss mama.” James reported sadly. Tommy instinctively pulled his son into his chest; his arms forming a protective shield against the painful reality they both found themselves living._ _

__“I miss her too.” Tommy confessed. He kissed the top of James’s head and took in a deep breath. The action only brought more pain to Tommy’s heart. The scent of James’s bath soap reminding him of the night Rebecca left._ _

__“Are you sad?” James asked quietly. Tommy sighed and nodded his head._ _

__“Yes, yes I am. We get sad because we love her, and we miss her when she’s not around.” Tommy explained._ _

__“When will she come back?” James asked. Tommy paused and carefully considered how to best answer the question._ _

__“Soon, I hope.” Tommy answered honestly. “James, there is something very important that mama wants you to remember while she is away. Alright? Think you can do that?” James nodded his head. “She loves you more than anything in this word, and she misses you.” Tommy said, his voice tightening as the tears rose._ _

__“More than anything?” James asked his big blue eyes staring directly into his father’s fragile soul._ _

__“Yes,” Tommy whispered, his eyes never wavering from his son’s. “Come on. We should head back.” Tommy cleared his throat and stood._ _

__Tommy and James returned to the house just before noon. Once again, James chatted endlessly in his father’s ear about the lovely horses as they walked the path back to the house. As the pair neared the house, Tommy noted the Bentley parked in the drive. It’s presence suddenly set Tommy on edge, his pace increasing as he neared the front of the house. His fears were indeed confirmed when Tommy and James were greeted by a uneasy Mary._ _

__“Mary?” Tommy questioned his housekeeper as he set James on his feet. His blue eyes pinning down the woman in front of him._ _

__“The Duchess is here, sir. I told her that you were not at home, but she insisted on waiting.” Mary explained._ _

__“Where is she?” Tommy asked._ _

__“In your office, sir.” Mary replied. Tommy nodded toward the older woman before bending down on one knee to address his son._ _

__“I have some business. You go up and play now.” Tommy said. James nodded in understanding. Before taking Mary’s extended hand, James wrapped his little arms around his father’s shoulders and hugged his neck. Tommy hugged James to his chest and inhaled deeply. The vivid images of Rebecca flashing to the forefront of his mind. James took Mary’s hand and departed without protest. “Don’t leave him alone, Mary.” Tommy instructed as he stood and smoothed the creases from his trousers. When he opened the door he found the Duchess perfectly posed on the settee in his office. Tommy tutted at the sight of her reclined there with a smoldering cigarette in one hand. Her long legs were gracefully tucked at the ankles, while one arm was crossed over her chest._ _

__“Mr. Shelby, I apologize for coming unannounced.” She sang, her thick accent filling the room. She slowly sat up and slipped her legs off the settee._ _

__“And yet, you are here.” Tommy replied as he worked to light a cigarette. “What can I do for you, Duchess?” Tommy asked as he exhaled the smoke from his lungs. She smirked as her dark eyes traveled up to meet Tommy’s bright blue orbs._ _

__“My uncle would like me to inspect the vehicles.” Tatiana announced as she gracefully rose to her feet. Her dark eyes latching easily into the depths of Tommy’s wounded soul._ _

__“No.” Tommy replied curtly._ _

__“And why not?” Tatiana inquired._ _

__“I have already reported to your uncle on the quality of the vehicles.” Tommy replied._ _

__“Like yourself, Mr. Shelby, my uncle trusts only family.” Tatiana protested as she floated ever closer. Her dark eyes pinning his boots to the floor. She slowly removed the cigarette from his lips before leaning in. Tommy turned his head at the last moment, Tatiana’s lips brushing against his cheek rather than meeting his lips._ _

__“You forget, Duchess.” Tommy said as he slipped away from her and crossed the floor to his desk. “I’m married.” Tommy scolded her. He turned on his heel; his sharp gaze meeting Tatiana’s glare as he settled into the leather chair behind his desk. Tatiana was not deterred in the slightest by his rebuke; if anything it added fuel to the fire burning between her legs._ _

__“In Russia, husbands would give their wives; sister and brothers, cousins. There is nothing we will not do to achieve our goal.” Tatiana reminded him as she approached the desk. Tommy effectively concealed his growing anger and frustration behind his steely mask. “I would fuck you for the cause.” Tatiana announced from her position on the opposite side of Tommy’s desk. Tommy stared at the Duchess while he considered the best course of action. The wrong word or action would allow her to spiral the entire encounter out of control, or worse in her favor._ _

__“I will not take you to the factory. A Russian Duchess would only rouse suspicion. That is attention you we do not want or need.” Tommy replied, his stance firmly decided. Tatiana smiled wickedly._ _

__“Then I must do something to change your mind.” Tatiana said. She slowly made her way around to his side of the desk, her index finger sliding over the glossy wood as she did. Tommy watched her out of the corner of his eye, but made no move to pay her any more attention. She stopped just to his right, and leaned against the desk. “I cannot help but note the continued absence of your wife, Mr. Shelby. I hope that she is not unwell.” She commented. Tommy turned his head and glared at the woman._ _

__“My wife is none of your concern.” Tommy snapped as he tightened his grip on his chair. Tatiana’s childish, flirtatious behavior was wearing on Tommy’s already thin patience. She had a keen ability to leave him with a splitting headache every time they met._ _

__“I have heard many rumors about your wife, Mr. Shelby. They whisper about her, like she is a ghost.” Tommy glared at Tatiana. “Surely, you have not misplaced her, Mr. Shelby.” Tatiana said. Her words stabbed Tommy through the heart. Tommy stood; his chair scraping loudly against the floorboards. He captured her chin with one hand and used the other to hold her in place._ _

__“My wife is none of your concern.” Tommy roared. “From now on, you won’t even think about my wife, nonetheless meet her. My affairs are my own concern. Not yours, Duchess. I don’t want my family anywhere near this fucking robbery.” Tommy snapped, as he slowly regained control of himself. Tatiana held a protective hand over Tommy’s, but she made no real attempt to free herself. In truth, she found his actions arousing. Tommy slowly released Tatiana’s chin from his tight grip, his chest heaving with adrenaline. Tatiana released a shaky breath as she readjusted herself._ _

__“The priest will be in contact, Mr. Shelby.” Tatiana said as she made her way toward the door. She paused in the doorway, her dark eyes finding Tommy’s once again. “He will have questions about your wife.” Tatiana added, as if she was doing him a favor. Tommy smirked before bringing the whiskey tumbler to his lips._ _

__“He will receive few answers because there is little to say on the matter.” Tommy replied dryly. Tatiana’s lips curled up into a smirk._ _

__“I find it hard to believe, that there would be little to say about a woman who is married to Thomas Shelby.” Tatiana replied before leaving and closing the door behind her. Tommy leaned against his desk, his eyes turning up to heaven._ _

__“Fuck…” He muttered to himself._ _

__

__Rebecca rose from her drug induced sleep with a gasp. Her eyes shot wide open; and to her horror, she was met by a blurry outline of the doctor. Frantically, she surveyed her unfamiliar surroundings. The dismal, damp basement room smelt of mold and spent cigarettes. As she turned her eyes back to Patrick’s menacing smile, she noticed the syringe dangling between his fingers. Rebecca brought a hand up to hold her pained chest. It felt as if a thousand wild horses were galloping across her chest and squeezing it. Beyond the pain in her chest, Rebecca was grateful that she could now breath without much difficulty._ _

__“Good. You’re with us.” Patrick chirped._ _

__“What did you give me?” Rebecca asked, her voice dry from the hours of drug induced sleep._ _

__“Adrenaline. That’s why it feels like your chest is going to explode.” Patrick replied as he looked at the empty syringe happily._ _

__“You’re a monster!” Rebecca snapped as she narrowed her eyes at the despicable man. Patrick’s grin only grew after hearing her words._ _

__“And you’re a liar.” Patrick countered as he bent and captured the back of Rebecca’s hair. Rebecca pursed her lips together, determined not to show him how badly it hurt when he pulled her hair. “I bet you think you’re clever, don’t you?” Patrick mocked her, disdain dripping from every word. “It’s time for confession, Mary. Look, I even brought you an old friend.” Patrick coaxed as he twisted her head to look at Father O’Shea._ _

__“Tell me what you know. I’ll fill in the gaps.” Rebecca replied through her gritted teeth. She couldn’t risk giving them too much information and end up getting herself killed. It was clear that Patrick had no qualms about drugging women. She could only assume he was capable of doing much worse. Patrick clicked his tongue at her quick remark and grasped her hair tighter._ _

__“Let me explain how this works one more time. You will answer all of our questions with a smile on that pretty face of yours. Now, if you’re half as smart as he says you are, you will do as your told. I would hate to damage that pretty face of yours.” He sneered as his dark eyes flickered back and forth. Rebecca’s blood boiled at his threats. Her breathing grew increasingly erratic as her dark blue eyes turned black with hate. If it were not for her compromising position, she would have throttled the man until all life left his eyes._ _

__“I did my research, Mrs. Shelby.” Mr. Gallagher spoke up as he stepped closer. Patrick turned his head and loosened his grip on Rebecca’s hair. It was a welcomed reprieve for her sore head. “In December of 1919, you left the country under a false name. You redacted your first name, Mary, from your paperwork. You became Rebecca Elizabeth O’Neill. You married in late 1920 and took the name Shelby. Beyond that you seemed to disappear.” Mr. Gallagher reported._ _

__“Everyone calls me Rebecca. My mother wanted to name me Rebecca, but he told her to pick something more traditional. If you’re looking for someone to blame for my name, talk to him.” Rebecca replied, nodding her head in the direction of Father O’Shea. All eyes turned to the priest for an explanation._ _

__“Yes. It’s true. She was baptized as Mary, but Rebecca was the name she answered to.” Father O’Shea confirmed._ _

__“Enough! So far all I’ve heard is you two blabbering on about what we already know. I want to hear from your lips, sweetheart. Start talking, or this is going to get a lot more uncomfortable for you!” Patrick demanded as he pulled Rebecca up into a seated position by the back of her hair. Aside from the sudden rush of blood to her head, and the pain of pulled hair; Rebecca was grateful to be upright. Patrick gruffly released Rebecca’s hair before he stood and smoothed the wrinkles from his trousers._ _

__“I assume you think my actions were politically motivated? That’s why you want to know what I know? You think I’m a threat. Am I correct, or is drugging and kidnapping women what you lot do for fun?” Rebecca inquired. An hint of frustration slipping into her tone at the ongoing silence._ _

__“The gun certainly makes it seem that way.” Mr. Gallagher replied._ _

__“I acted out of fear, Mr. Gallagher. I had just watched two IRA men slit my mother’s throat. Is it really any surprise that I ran away and never wanted to be found?” Rebecca snapped, her blue eyes narrowing in on Gallagher._ _

__“Then why did you come back?” Father O’Shea inquired gently from his position in the corner. It was evident from his posture and position that he did not want to be there. The priest’s discomfort did little to ease the bitter pill of betrayal down Rebecca’s throat. Father O’Shea had been a constant presence in her lift growing up. She had trusted him completely. Now he stood in line with two manipulative and dangerous men._ _

__“To get some fucking answers.” Rebecca snapped, shifting her eyes toward the priest. “You never answered my question. Do you drug and abduct all the women who come to you with questions? Or was there something about me in particular that threatened you so much that you saw it fit to physically restrain me?” Rebecca inquired. She turned her dark eyes toward the doctor, expecting him to answer._ _

__“You are the first woman we’ve had to deal with since the war. I can assure you, Mrs. Shelby, you would already be dead if you had come to me during the war making accusations and asking questions like you did.” Mr. Gallagher replied. The bold response surprised Rebecca. Mr. Gallagher had poised himself as a gentlemen; a man who was afraid to dirty his hands, but now Rebecca had her doubts._ _

__“I told you, Mr. Gallagher. I don’t want revenge. All I want is the truth, and then I will go back to my family.” Rebecca reassured them._ _

__“This has gone too far already, Patrick! We should just let her go. She was always a good kid.” Father O’Shea petitioned the doctor._ _

__“No. I want answers. Tell me, what happened to Aedan Byrne?” Patrick asked as he closed in on Rebecca once again. His dark glare piercing through Rebecca’s tough exterior._ _

__“Dead.” She replied steadily._ _

__“Did you have anything to do with it?” He pressed._ _

__“I had the chance to kill Aedan myself, but I wasn’t the one who sent him to meet his maker.” Rebecca replied._ _

__“I heard you have a file of information.” Patrick said as he began to pace the length of the room._ _

__“Yes, but as I already explained to Mr. Gallagher; I cannot authenticate any of it.” Rebecca replied._ _

__“I would very much like to examine this file for myself as it may have implications for the newly established Irish State.” Patrick said. Rebecca scoffed and rolled her eyes._ _

__“I don’t have it with me.” Rebecca replied. “And even if I did, why would I show it to you? I’m not suicidal!” Rebecca protested._ _

__“You said she had a file. Where the fuck is it?” Patrick shouted, focusing all of his frustration on Gallagher._ _

__“She never showed it to me. If I had the file, I would have given it to you already.” Mr. Gallagher insisted._ _

__“It’s all up here.” Rebecca said tapping her temple. It must have looked strange given that her hands were bound together. “So Doctor… Hughes was it? I propose that we start playing this game on a more level playing field. I get information, you get information. Then we can all go home. Do we have a deal?” Rebecca asked as she slowly stood to her feet._ _

__“I don’t make deals with dirty traitors.” Patrick spat at her feet._ _

__“We have to do something to get her to talk. Unless you are prepared to beat the answers out of her?” Mr. Gallagher challenged his partner._ _

__“Fine. But let me be clear, I am here to protect the interest of the Irish Free State. You can ask your questions as long as it doesn’t compromises our position. The last thing we need is loose lips going back to England.” Patrick said as he motioned for his partners to take over. Mr. Gallagher and Father O’Shea stepped forward, both deterred by Rebecca’s general appearance. She couldn’t fault them for keeping their distance. She was aware that she looked and smelt terribly. Her dress was caked with sweat and stomach contents from the day prior. Her hair was now a tangled mess thanks to Patrick’s fingers, and her makeup from the day prior was terribly askew._ _

__“Would one of you untie me?” Rebecca asked. Father O’Shea and Mr. Gallagher looked at one another, but neither made a move to untie the woman. “You think I’m stupid enough to fight three against one?” Rebecca questioned the pair in hopes of being freed._ _

__“I will apologize once again for my compatriots actions. I was never one for committing acts of violence.” Mr. Gallagher said. Rebecca found Gallagher’s genteel words and tone quiet ironic given the situation._ _

__“That’s funny. From where I’m standing, you organized this whole encounter. You led the lamb to the slaughter, did you not Mr. Gallagher?” Rebecca replied, her tone sharpening as her mind continued to clear. Now on her feet, and with both hands free, Rebecca felt a bit bolder. “Anyone have a cigarette?” Rebecca asked casually. Mr. Gallagher produced a cigarette and matches from his coat pocket and passed them to her. She placed one between her lips before bringing the match to the tip. “Since I am at the disadvantage here, I guess I will go first.” Rebecca said after a long drag of her cigarette. Gallagher nodded as he worked to light his own cigarette. “God says we are to tell the truth. I would very much like to know the truth about my father. Perhaps you could put the matter to rest, Father O’Shea. You were present after all.” Rebecca asked, turning her attention to Father O’Shea._ _

__“What does your file say?” Patrick interrupted, like a child, from a distance. Rebecca glared over her cigarette at him._ _

__“You can go straight to fucking hell for all I care!” Rebecca snapped at Patrick. Patrick smirked in response to her sharp retort._ _

__“Why don’t you tell me what you remember about your father?” Father O’Shea prompted, desperate to defuse the escalating situation. Rebecca turned her attention to Father O’Shea, ignoring the smug grin on Patrick’s lips._ _

__“He was kind to me and my mother. I remember how he would let me sit on the counter in the bakery and watch him work. He was proud of the work he did. He worked hard for us.” Rebecca remembered her father fondly. Father O’Shea sighed and looked down at the floor._ _

__“Then it would be kinder to keep the truth from you.” He replied sadly._ _

__“Father O’Shea, you’re looking at a woman who has already lost everything. So please don’t give me this shit excuse about kindness.” Rebecca fired back. Her dark glare and sharp tone producing a heavy burden in the room. Father O’Shea bowed his head and stared at the ground while he considered his next move._ _

__“Your father was a good man. He worked hard. He went to confession and church every week without fail. I’m not sure if he ever told you, but he believed strongly in freedom. Your father, he shared our dream, our vision.” Father O’Shea explained._ _

__“How could my father be IRA? He died before the war even started.” Rebecca asked, her face twisting with confusion._ _

__“No, he wasn’t IRA necessarily. But he was a supporter of freedom for Ireland. In the beginning, there was many of us who shared common beliefs but there was no one to organize us.” Father O’Shea said._ _

__“My mother told me that he died because his heart was weak. Is that even true?” Rebecca asked._ _

__“First, what does your file say happened to your father?” Patrick pressed from his position. Rebecca turned to face the deranged doctor. Now too irritated to smoke, she tossed the cigarette on the floor and crossed her arms. Her dark eyes never leaving Patrick’s._ _

__“Murder.” Rebecca replied tightly. Her attempt to conceal her feelings failed miserably; her wavering voice betraying her. It was obvious to everyone in the room that she was haunted by the prospect of such a reality._ _

__“Father O’Shea, tell the girl.” Patrick instructed, his tone painfully cavalier. Rebecca turned back to Father O’Shea, but his face was once again turned down at the ground. The room fell silent, suspense hanging low in the air and consuming them all._ _

__“Your father was shot through the heart.” Father O’Shea informed her reluctantly. Rebecca gulped for air in an attempt to keep her tears from falling. Father O’Shea reached out to comfort the distraught woman, but she jerked her arm away. “I’m sorry, Rebecca. Your mother and I thought it was better if you didn’t know the truth. You were so young.” He explained. Rebecca shook her head. Amidst her disbelief emerged an intense, burning anger._ _

__“I was sixteen! I was fucking sixteen years old! I wasn’t a child that needed protecting!” Rebecca shouted, her eyes black with rage. “How does a murder get ruled as a natural death? Huh? How does that fucking happen?” Rebecca yelled at the priest. She rushed to seize him, but stopped when Patrick spoke up from behind her._ _

__“Oh, that’d be me! Now, I never saw the body. I just signed the death certificate Father O’Shea brought to me.” Patrick announced; raising his hand in the air as if it was something to be proud of. Rebecca whirled around and charged at the doctor. Patrick held his hands up defensively, but he wasn’t fast enough to stop her. Rebecca kneed Patrick in the groin, which quickly brought him to his knees. Grasping a fistful of his hair in her hand, Rebecca turned his head up so that she could see his pained facial expression. She balled her fist and delivered a swift, sickening blow. Bright red blood poured from Patrick’s crooked nose after just one hit. Patrick proceeded to howl like a wounded animal as he cradle his injured face. His pain clouded his judgement, and he no longer fought against her. Rebecca took the opportunity to pull Patrick down to the ground by his hair, which brought an especially pitiful cry from his lips. He continued to cry helplessly in pain as Rebecca loomed over him. She grasped his neck with her small hand, her nails digging deep into his flesh. Eventually, the lack of oxygen muffled his cries and produced a guttural sound. “Shut up! Just shut up! You think that you are so powerful? Huh?” Rebecca pressed more of her weight on his neck. His eyes widened with fear, and bulged due to the increased pressure. “The next time you think you are so fucking mighty, I want you to remember this moment. Remember this moment, and remember me.” Rebecca’s voice grew intensely quiet before kneeing him once again in the crotch and releasing his neck. He held his crotch with one hand and his bloody face in the other; his howling filling the background once again._ _

__“You bitch!” Patrick cried in pain. Rebecca swiftly kicked Patrick in the ribs, a final blow for good measure._ _

__“May the devil come to claim your soul himself.” Rebecca spat. When she turned around, Father O’Shea and Mr. Gallagher stood wide eyed at the opposite end of the room. Neither one had moved to restrain her, or help their compatriot, a telling sign indeed. It was clear to Rebecca that Patrick was the violent mastermind, and the other two were just along for the ride. “What about my mother? Were you lot involved?” Rebecca pressed. She sniffled once more before she wiped the tears from her face._ _

__“Don’t you know?” Father O’Shea asked, his voice dropping with disappointment._ _

__“What is it? Please! For fucks sake, just tell me! Is it not obvious to the you two that I have no idea what really happened?” Rebecca shouted, her dark eyes flashing between the two men._ _

__“During the war, we used legitimate businesses as fronts. Your family’s bakery was one of them.” Rebecca’s head snapped up, her dark gaze meeting with Father O’Shea’s._ _

__“I think I would know-”_ _

__“How do you think your mother managed to run the bakery after your father died? How did she afford it? Us. We kept the business going once she agreed to let us use it as a front for the resistance. But your mother was not fond of our use of explosives. When she found out that was what we were making in the bakery, she threatened to go to the British authorities if we didn’t take ourselves elsewhere. The bakery was a great operation. We weren’t going to let it go, especially after we sustained it all those years.” Father O’Shea explained. Rebecca put her hands on top of her head and laughed. The story he was telling was just too ridiculous to believe._ _

__“You’re lying.” Rebecca fired back. Father O’Shea shook his head._ _

“It’s true. I know it is because I was there. I was the one who helped your mother clean up after your father was shot. She washed his body, and then burned his bloody clothes. I went to Dr. Hughes and asked him to sign the death certificate. It was her wish that you not know the truth. It was for your protection.” Father O’Shea said. Rebecca remained silent; her mind quickly piecing the story together. But there was one major component to the priest’s story that didn’t make sense to her. _Why did her father’s murder need to appear natural?_

____

____

____“Who did you say shot my father?” Rebecca questioned as she lifted her dark blue eyes. She shifted her eyes from Mr. Gallagher back to Father O’Shea. The two men shared a worried look before turning back to the girl._ _ _ _

____“We didn’t.” Mr. Gallagher replied tightly. He started doing that nervous thing again where he tried too hard to look relaxed._ _ _ _

____“But surely you know, Father O’Shea. Surely you had a reason to make a murder look natural? Or maybe, the question I should be asking is who are you really protecting?” Rebecca pushed, shooting the priest a sharp glare. Father O’Shea narrowed his gaze on Rebecca, but did not answer._ _ _ _

____“You were a smart child, but you have such a nasty habit of asking far too many questions.” Father O’Shea replied; his tone and expression turning sinister. Rebecca’s next move was as swift and unpredictable as a lightning strike. She wrapped her fingers around the priests collared neck. The momentum of her body providing her the momentum necessary to bring them both down to the ground. She placed one knee on his chest as she leaned into him; her fingers digging into his delicate flesh._ _ _ _

____“Who shot my father? Tell me!” Rebecca demanded. She felt Mr. Gallagher’s hand grasp her shoulder, prompting Rebecca to pull out the switch blade hidden in her shoe. A trick Polly taught her many moons ago; when she was still new to the brutal Shelby lifestyle. Mr. Gallagher turned and ran; proving himself to be an even greater coward than Rebecca originally thought. Rebecca turned her attention back to the priest. He looked frightened as he struggled to free himself from Rebecca’s grasp. “You have five seconds to answer before I start cutting off body parts. Speak the truth, priest!” Rebecca snapped as she readied her blade. The mixture of adrenaline and rage brought her beyond the point of madness. The priest shoved Rebecca’s shoulders, and in a single swift movement knocked her off his chest. She fell to the ground with her limbs splayed out in a chaotic mess. She sat up with her blade ready, but before she had the chance to strike; he was on top of her. He pinned her hands on either side of her head and leaned in._ _ _ _

____“You are just like your mother, both Mary’s exactly alike. Never could leave well enough alone.” Father O’Shea spat as he struggled to gain control of Rebecca’s blade. Rebecca cried out and gathered all the fury within her as she thrashed against him. Father O’Shea failed to control Rebecca’s unpredictable movements, and lost his grip on her arm. With his flank unguarded, and her hand free, Rebecca plunged the blade into his side._ _ _ _

____“Who killed my father?” Rebecca shouted as she pulled the blade from his flesh and brought it back to his throat. Father O’Shea collapsed onto his back and held his wounded side. Blood trickled from his wound and oozed around his trembling hand._ _ _ _

____“I did.” Father O’Shea replied wearily._ _ _ _

____“Why? Why would you murder my father?” Rebecca pressed, her quest for the truth undeterred by the fading color of the priest’s face. Father O’Shea remained quiet, his eyes gazing into the abyss above. Recognizing the fading light in his eyes, Rebecca slapped his face to focus him. “Why!” She pressed again._ _ _ _

____“Your father didn’t believe in fighting for freedom. He said that his faith in God kept him from partaking in any act that led to bloodshed. He would never allow us to use the bakery.” The priest explained between his labored breaths. Rebecca could feel her heart beating like a drum, but she barely felt alive._ _ _ _

____“You’re a fucking priest! You killed my father – an innocent man, a good man. What does that make you?” Rebecca shouted as the tears began to cascade down her face._ _ _ _

____“It had to be done.” Father O’Shea replied._ _ _ _

____“Spare me! You belong in hell alongside the rest of them!” Rebecca snapped._ _ _ _

____“Your mother… she always wanted to keep you safe. I tried to convince her that keeping her mouth shut would be the only way to keep you safe… but she wouldn’t listen. She was going to betray us. There was no other option. She had to die.” Father O’Shea coughed and took a shaky breath before proceeding. “I put her in the ground myself. I gave her a proper burial with prayers.” Father O’Shea added, as if it would somehow atone for his multitude of sins. Rebecca let the desperate, heartbroken sobs escape from the depths of her soul. She was aware of her tears, but she felt completely numb despite them. The purpose of her journey was never revenge, yet here she was. She returned home in search of the truth; in hopes of gaining a better understanding of herself. Now that she faced such egregious truths, Rebecca felt completely lost. She stumbled to her feet and made her way towards the door. She took a few steps before tripping over her own feet and crumbled to the ground in a sobbing heap of despair. In that moment, she did not care that she was vulnerable to another attack. She remained still as the painful truth consumed her. Her blue eyes closed, clamping down on the tears. After a while she slowly regained her senses. She lifted her head and scanned the room with her teary eyes. Patrick was just not pulling himself up into a seated position, while Father O’Shea lay exactly where she left him. Unsurprisingly, Mr. Gallagher was nowhere to be found. Rebecca slowly found her footing once again._ _ _ _

____“You best help the priest. I need him alive.” Rebecca muttered to Patrick before leaving the room. She stopped to put on her overcoat and gather her belongings before rushing out of the building and into the blinding light of day. She had won the first battle, but the outcome of the war was still uncertain._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____The sound of Tommy’s boots reverberating on the stairs signaled his arrival. He opened the door to find Father Hughes seated at an empty table in the attic of the monastery. The general lack of attendance didn’t come as a surprise. If anything, Tommy hoped the meeting would be cut short due to lack of attendance._ _ _ _

____“Mr. Shelby.” Father Hughes chirped. Tommy cleared his throat before taking his seat opposite of Hughes. Tommy’s piercing blue eyes conveyed all the displeasure he harbored for the priest._ _ _ _

____“Priest.” Tommy replied curtly. He placed a cigarette between his lips and casually brought a match to the end. He tossed the spent match on the floor with utter disregard for where it might land. The entire fucking building could burn to the ground, and Tommy wouldn’t have cared. Father Hughes smirked as he extinguished his own cigarette._ _ _ _

____“I find it rather convenient that my colleagues are otherwise engaged this morning, as we have personal business to discuss.” Father Hughes announced. Tommy shot the priest an icy glare and pressed his lips into a thin line._ _ _ _

____“I don’t see how my personal affairs are any of your concern.” Tommy replied._ _ _ _

____“It has come to my attention that your sister has been staying at your home for well over a month. Your sister is a communist, isn’t that right, Mr. Shelby?” Father Hughes questioned._ _ _ _

____“And if she is, what concern is that to you?” Tommy countered._ _ _ _

____“She represents a potential security breach. We have decided that the only acceptable course of action is for you to send her on her way. Back to that lovely house you bought for her in Primrose Hill.” Father Hughes ordered._ _ _ _

____“Fuck off.” Tommy snapped as he rose from his seat. He stalked to the corner of the room and rubbed his tired eyes before turning back to Hughes. Although he hated the amount of information the priest seemed to possess regarding his sister, Tommy was strangely relieved that it hadn’t concerned his wife._ _ _ _

____“Mr. Shelby, need I remind you of what is at risk should you not comply with your orders?” Father Hughes questioned. Tommy’s blue eyes narrowed. “Since you are not very forthcoming with information, I will make assumptions based on what I do know. I can only assume that the continued presence of your sister coupled with the absence of your wife to mean one thing. Your wife has left you.” Father Hughes_ _ _ _

____“And?” Tommy asked, barely containing his rage. He considered choking the priest to death right there, but managed to keep his hands clasped behind his back._ _ _ _

____“Take a seat, Mr. Shelby. We have much to discuss.” Father Hughes replied, his tone steady and confident._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are most welcome. I love hearing your thoughts!


	6. Heatwave

Heatwave

Tommy slowed the car as he circled around the driveway and parked in front of the house. He turned the key, allowing the smooth purr of the motor to slowly fade until the silence of the country filled his ears once again. Tommy leaned his head against the steering wheel; the pulsating sensation in his head bordering on unbearable. The throbbing headache had set in during the early morning meeting with Father Hughes. Since Tommy was still awaiting Izabella’s permission to kill the priest, he had no choice but to grind his teeth and listen as Father Hughes spewed off his vile words. Up to this morning’s meeting, Tommy had hoped at the very least Rebecca would be safe in Ireland. Safe from the Italians, Section D, Father Hughes, and all the fucking crazy Russians. It was a lie that comfort his aching soul. Now, more than ever before, Tommy longed for his wife. He needed her home. Back within his reach, where she could be easily protected from the bad business he found himself tied up in. Tommy tried in vain to dull the throbbing pain in his head with an a few glasses of whiskey. It was now well past nine o’clock in the evening, and Tommy was desperate to find a way to finally rid himself of the pain in his head. After France he commonly sought relief in his pipe, but that was long gone now. A habit left behind in the dust and smoke of Watery Lane. He mustered his strength and slowly drudged up the front steps. Mary was there, ready to accepted his black coat and cap with an attentive eye and outstretched arms. His pained and distant expression was noted, but never spoken of. Tommy made his way toward his office in search of more whiskey, but the sight of Ada hard at work stopped Tommy in his tracks. The heavy sound of Tommy’s boots pulled Ada from her work. The small smile on her face fading at the poor sight of him.

“Tommy.” Ada spoke hesitantly to her older brother. Slowly, she rose to her feet; concern etched deep into her usually delicate features. 

“Ada,” Tommy replied, his voice was low and gruff with exhaustion. He refused to lift his blue eyes to meet her worried gaze, mostly because all of the lights in the room made his headache worse.

“Are you alright?” Ada inquired, but it seemed that she already knew the answer to that question. She always had a way of detecting deceit despite his stoic exterior. To Ada, Tommy’s anguish was so clearly written in the tension of his square jaw and the dark circles that surrounded his usually bright blue eyes. “Tommy. What’s happened?” Ada questioned. Her persistence amazed and aggravated Tommy all at the same time. If it weren’t for the pain in his head maybe he would have told her that, but instead Tommy just stood there with his eyes fixed on the red carpet beneath his feet. 

“Have you done what’s on your list?” Tommy inquired, his voice flattening with exhaustion. 

“Yes, Tommy, I’ve done what’s on the list.” Ada replied. Her voice told Tommy that she was somewhere between amazement and deep concern. 

“Good. Come have a drink with me.” Tommy said before walking off into his office. He went straight to the decanter, his mind aching for a drink to curb the pain. “Whiskey?” Tommy asked, looking slightly over his shoulder.

“Sure.” Ada replied as she moved closer to Tommy. He passed her a glass before tipping his back and downing the entire glass in one gulp. Ada’s eyes widened over the brim of her glass. “Something on your mind, Tom?” She probed him again. Tommy turned to pour himself another drink; in no apparent hurry to answer his sister’s question. 

“Ada, I want you to know that I appreciate all that you’ve done.” Tommy started. Ada watched Tommy slowly walk around his desk and sit in his chair. After a prolonged silence, Tommy shifted his icy orbs up to glance at Ada. “You’ve done well, and I want to reward you.” Tommy continued. Ada raised an eyebrow skeptically. 

“Tommy, it’s quite alright. Really there’s no need.” Ada insisted. Tommy shook his head and instantly regretted it as the throbbing quickly intensified. 

“There is going to be a vacancy coming up in the Shelby Company Limited in the Boston office. You could start over. A fresh start; for you and Karl, in America. And before you ask, you’ll have no need to worry because it’ll all be legal. Even so it’s sure to be more entertaining than wasting away in that library you claim to enjoy so much.” Tommy explained. Ada stared blankly back at Tommy. The offer was tempting but she suspected; like most of Tommy’s offers, there would be a caveat. 

“What’s the catch?” Ada asked. 

“No catch.” Tommy assured her. Ada diverted her gaze as she quietly considered his offer. “Ada,” Tommy’s voice brought their eyes back together. “I need someone I trust to do the trade deals.” Tommy said. 

“Alright.” Ada agreed quietly, a sliver of unease still wedged in her belly. 

“Good. You can ask Mary to help you pack.” Tommy said as he brought the glass back to his lips. 

“You don’t mean tonight, do you? When had you planned to tell me about this move?” Ada inquired, more amused than not with her brother. 

“I’ll send you the ticket.” Tommy replied, his voice once again flat with exhaustion. Ada tilted her head to the side. Her confusion growing by the minute, and with it the uneasy feeling in her belly. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to get rid of me, Tommy.” Ada commented in an attempt to pull more information out of her always illusive brother. 

“Ada, we’ll be alright. Really. There’s no need for you to stay. You’ve kept your promise.” Tommy promised. He turned his head back towards Ada as if seeing his expression would somehow convince her that he was telling the truth. But the glazed-over appearance of his icy blue eyes did nothing to ease her growing concerns.

“Tommy, if there’s something you’re not telling me-” Ada protested.

“Ada.” Tommy snapped. “You’re my sister, and Karl is my nephew. I care for your safety. Now I need you to trust me. Go back to London and pack up the house. I’ll have Lizzie send the tickets by the weeks end.” Tommy replied, his poor explanation leaving Ada with even more questions. Ada crossed her arms and waited, in hopeful expectation that just maybe he would confide in her. Just this once.

“Alright, Tommy.” Ada reluctantly agreed after a prolonged silence. She set her whiskey tumbler on the edge of Tommy’s shiny desk before turning to leave. “Should I be worried about going home?” Ada asked from the doorway. Tommy slowly shook his head. 

“No.” He rasped. With that, Ada nodded her head and closed the door gently behind her. 

Rebecca emerged from the darkness in a state of utter shock. She felt dazed in the bright sunlight. Despite her confusion, Rebecca was painfully aware that she was helplessly lost; like a lamb wandering in the wilderness. Her hands and legs trembled violently as the adrenaline continued to pump mercilessly through her veins. Frantically, she examined the street signs for any indication of direction. It took all that remained of her will to figure out the way back to her lodgings. Rebecca had no sense of the day or time. All she knew was that it felt like an eternity. That she would be destined to be lost forever. When the adrenaline finally faded, an incredibly heaviness took hold. Reality rapidly set in and Rebecca feared how she would cope with it. By the time she returned to Mrs. O’Brien’s, her mind was too overwhelmed and her body too exhausted to respond to the older woman’s concerned questions. 

Closing the door slowly, Rebecca gingerly leaned her burning forehead against the cool wood. This had not been a part of the plan. The plan – just the thought made Rebecca chuckle until her stomach knotted. It was all fucked. Best case scenario, she would survive her journey home but likely lose Tommy and James for what she’d done. Deep in her heart, Rebecca knew that the outcome would likely be much worse. One where she was found floating face down in a river. There would be no one to mourn her. She would simply disappear. The tears streamed down her cheeks as the terrifying thoughts took hold. This wasn’t what she wanted. All she wanted was the truth. Selfishly, she made up an argument about acceptance to justify her decision. Foolishly, she believed that the truth would be enough. Now it seemed that it would never be enough. Rebecca dropped to her knees and sobbed in despair. Suddenly she felt the weight of everything caved in on top of her. The sobs shook her body as she surrendered to whatever would come. 

It took Rebecca a full day and night to pull herself together. To successfully lock away the tears and pain that was threatening to drown her. Only after Rebecca had finished riding the emotional hurricane could she manage to make a way forward. Clearly, her lodgings were not as safe as she hoped. The next day, when the sweltering summer sun was replaced by a crescent moon, she left in search of a more secure room. On her way she slipped a letter into the post box. Sealed inside was the truth. For better or worse, someone deserved to know the truth. Maybe it would be enough for whoever opened it, but it would never satisfy the orphan girl.

Rebecca’s new room was located on the top floor of a boardinghouse, a great distance from Mrs. O’Brien’s home. Without fail, every night, the heat rose up from the floors below. Suffocating with heat, Rebecca would strip down to her unmentionables and sponged herself with the water from her wash basin before settling down to sleep. By the time morning light entered her window, Rebecca was dressed and heading out the door. The heatwave did not stop her from waiting patiently for the little redhead with the piercing green eyes to turn the corner and enter the bakery. Rebecca had little choice in the matter. She couldn’t very well go back to Mr. Gallagher and inquire if he had ever succeeded in obtaining an address for Joseph O’Sullivan. In fact, she was doing everything within her power to avoid being detected by the man. Mr. Gallagher may have been a coward, but his friends had proved to be ruthless and powerful. On the first day of August, amidst the lengthiest heatwave, the little redhead entered the bakery. Rebecca wasted no time and hastily crossed the street to meet Kathleen. 

“Kathleen.” Rebecca called as the girl exited the shop. The little girl stopped in her tracks, her body stiffening with fear. “It’s alright. We’ve met before.” Rebecca explained, in hopes of establishing some trust with the girl. Kathleen slowly turned to inspect the person speaking to her. When she did, Rebecca had to suppress a gasp of horror. Her porcelain skin was marred by a myriad of bruises. Her cheek bore the clear outline of handprint in deep purple; fresh from the looks of it. Looking further down, there were other bruises, all in different stages of healing. Some were blue or purple, while the others were already yellowing. The threadbare brown dress that hung from her thin frame was covered in dust and ashes. “Oh… Kathleen. Come here.” Rebecca whispered as she extended her hand.

“No!” Kathleen replied defensively as she took a step back; moving strategically out of arms reach. Her green eyes widened with fear and mistrust. It was heartbreaking for Rebecca to see such a young child marked by such deep mistrust.

“I’m sorry if I frightened you, Kathleen. I don’t mean you any harm… It must be frightening to have a stranger ask you something like that. Why don’t we start over? My name is Rebecca Shelby, but it used to be O’Neill. Your mother Sarah was my cousin.” Rebecca explained. 

“My mother died when I was a baby.” Kathleen replied. Rebecca nodded as the tears rose to her eyes. 

“Yes, yes she did. You were so little when it happened.” Rebecca confirmed sadly. “Kathleen, I beg you to tell me the truth. Who did this to you?” Rebecca asked. Kathleen’s eyes drifted to the ground with embarrassment. “Please, Kathleen. I can help.” Rebecca pleaded.

“I can’t say.” Kathleen whispered. Rebecca sighed. Perhaps this was too much to ask of the child so soon, Rebecca thought. It might be wrong to pressure the little girl into answering such personal questions. 

“That’s alright. You don’t have to tell me, but if you change your mind you can always talk to me.” Rebecca offered with a reassuring smile. 

“I have to go or he’ll get mad.” Kathleen muttered.

“Your father?” Rebecca asked. Kathleen nodded her head. “Can I walk you home?” Rebecca asked.

“I don’t know… He doesn’t like me talking to other people.” Kathleen replied, her voice thick with worry. 

“He doesn’t have to know. I can turn around when we get to your street.” Rebecca said, hoping the little girl would agree. Kathleen chewed on her bottom lip as she carefully weighed the risks. 

“Alright.” She agreed. Rebecca smiled as she stood and fell in step with Kathleen. The pair walked in silence for a few minutes before Kathleen’s curiosity finally broke the ice. “How come I never met you before?” Kathleen asked. 

“Well… I knew you when you were a baby. After your mother passed on it was difficult to keep track of your father. He moved you two around a lot, making it difficult to come visit.” Rebecca explained. Kathleen nodded in understanding. “Besides I live in England now. I left Dublin four years ago and this is my first time back.” Rebecca added.

“Why did you leave?” Kathleen asked, her posture relaxing slightly. 

“My mother and father died. My father when I was sixteen and my mother when I was twenty-one. I found myself all alone in a cruel world with no family to rely upon, so I left. I met my husband soon after. Now we have a son, his name is James.” Rebecca continued. She stopped Kathleen and bent down to show the girl her gold locket. Kathleen took the locket in her hands and examined the pictures inside. 

“What’s his name?” Kathleen asked, referring to Tommy’s picture. 

“His name is Thomas Michael Shelby, but I just call him Tommy.” Rebecca answered with a smile. Kathleen smiled before letting go of the locket. It was the first time Rebecca had seen Kathleen smile. She couldn’t help but feel that Kathleen deserved to smile a lot more.

“He’s handsome.” Kathleen commented. 

“Yes, he is.” Rebecca nodded with a little chuckle. “James is the picture of him. No doubt, James will be breaking girls' hearts when he’s older.” Rebecca added.

“Do you remember my mother well?” Kathleen inquired, her big green eyes looking up in hopes of an answer. Rebecca smiled down at the little girl. 

“Oh, yes. Very well.” Rebecca smiled as sweet memories resurfaced in her mind. 

“Would you tell me about her? When I asked my dad… he told me never to ask about her again.” Kathleen replied solemnly, leaving out the punches she got for asking.

“You know nothing of your own mother? Did your grandmother Martha never speak of her?” Rebecca asked, disappointment slipping into her voice. Kathleen shook her head.

“She died in a fire when I was young. I barely remember her now.” Kathleen reported. The news came as a shock to Rebecca. She had no idea the fate that befell her aunt Martha. 

“What would you like to know about her?” Rebecca inquired, hoping to shift the conversation onto a lighter subject. 

“Did she love me?” Kathleen blurted out the question her heart had held for so long. Rebecca could not stop the tears from rapidly forming in her eyes. Unable to form words over her tears, Rebecca nodded in response. 

“I have no doubts that she loved you more than anything in this world.” Rebecca replied, wiping a tear from her cheek.

“You cry a lot.” Kathleen observed. The child’s astute observation brought a smile to Rebecca’s lips.

“Yes, I do. As of recent, I can’t seem to help it.” Rebecca replied. 

“My dad gives me a smack if I cry.” Kathleen said. Rebecca went quiet in hopes that Kathleen would continue, but she simply turned and carried on towards home. The remainder of the walk was silent. The silence did not bother Rebecca. She was simply grateful for the time they had shared. It was a small step in the right direction. “This is my street.” Kathleen announced as she turned to Rebecca.

“I know it’s difficult to slip away from your father, but if you can; I would very much like to see you.” Rebecca said.

“But how?” Kathleen asked. 

“I will wait for you at the bakery. If you come in, I will walk you home. We can talk about your mother, or something else if you’d prefer.” Rebecca proposed with a soft smile.

“Alright. That sounds nice.” Kathleen replied before waving goodbye and turning. Rebecca watched the little girl run off down the street. Her dirty rag of a dress flapping in the summer breeze. Something stirred deep within Rebecca as she watched the little girl retreat. Her mother’s heart compelled her to go after Kathleen, to put an end to her suffering. She could put a bullet between Joseph’s eyes, but doing so would bring more trouble that Rebecca did not want or need. It was the practical side of herself that kept Rebecca’s feet firmly planted on the ground. She would have to earn the girl’s trust. With trust, Rebecca could take Kathleen away and she would feel safe. Violence would only perpetuate the cycle of mistrust in the little girl’s life. Although it hurt her greatly to accept it, Rebecca knew that the only way to win Kathleen’s trust was consistency and tender love. Then and there, Rebecca vowed that she would wait as long as the girl needed. Hopefully it would be enough in the end. 

Over the next weeks Rebecca and Kathleen savored the precious time they had together. The retreating summer heat made for more pleasant walks home. Rebecca found that Kathleen was absolutely brimming with questions about her mother. Rebecca was more than glad to answer them. After years of scarcely speaking her name, it was nice to have someone who wanted to listen to stories about the vivacious Sarah. Despite Kathleen’s poor appearance, and assumedly deplorable living conditions; she blossomed in the kindness of her mother’s cousin. Rebecca told Kathleen stories as they walked hand in hand; the little girl nibbling on fresh, slightly larger pieces of bread nowadays. 

“What do I call you?” Kathleen asked as their walk neared its end. 

“If we’re being proper, I think I would be your first cousin once removed.” Rebecca replied. Kathleen wrinkled her nose.

“That just sounds silly. No one calls anyone that!” Kathleen laughed and Rebecca couldn’t help but agree. It was a rather large mouthful of words. 

“You could just call me cousin Rebecca.” Rebecca offered as a suitable alternative. Kathleen shook her head as another giggle escaped her lips. The sight of the little girl so happy made Rebecca’s heart swell. This was the life she deserved – the life Rebecca hoped to give her in England.

“It doesn’t seem right to call you cousin. Cousins are meant to be close to you in age.” Kathleen replied. She bit her lips to prevent the next words from leaving her mouth. _‘You feel more like a mother.’ _That was what she wanted to say, but Rebecca wasn’t her mother. Her mother was dead and there would be no remedying that.__

__“Well, what would you like to call me?” Rebecca asked as she bent down so that she could look into Kathleen’s big green eyes._ _

__“What about aunt Rebecca? You said so yourself, that you and my mother always felt more like sisters.” Kathleen replied with a small smile._ _

__“Then it’s settled.” Rebecca smiled back at the little girl. But Kathleen’s happiness was not to last._ _

__“Kathleen!” A gruff man snarled as he gripped Kathleen by the shoulder and spun her around. Kathleen’s eyes shot wide open, adrenaline and terror coursing through her veins in equal measure. Rebecca looked up into the dark eyes of Joseph O’Sullivan. A muffled whimper escaped Kathleen’s lips as Joseph tightened his grip on her bruised shoulder. Rebecca straightened but was still considerably shorter than Joseph. “Well, well, if it isn’t little Mary O’Neill. Oh, I’m sorry. _Rebecca. _” Joseph sneered as he accented her name.____

_____ _

_____ _

____“Joseph.” Rebecca replied curtly. Her skin crawled with disgust looking at what remained of Joseph O’Sullivan. The charismatic young brunette had digressed into something resembling a monster. His front teeth were gone and the few teeth that remained were badly rotted, no doubt from all the alcohol he consumed. His faded brown hair was unruly with a beard to match. It seemed fitting that the monster within had finally come to the surface. At least now he couldn’t seduce another with his good looks. No amount of charm and smooth words would convince a girl to overlook Joseph’s rough exterior._ _ _ _

____“What brings you back?” Joseph asked as he pulled Kathleen even closer._ _ _ _

____“There was some unfinished family business.” Rebecca replied tightly._ _ _ _

____“Is that so?” Joseph asked, his dark gaze unwavering. Rebecca nodded as she kept her eyes steady on Joseph to show that she wasn’t afraid of him. “Last I heard you had run off to England.” Joseph said._ _ _ _

____“I don’t see how that’s any concern of yours.” Rebecca snapped._ _ _ _

____“And I don’t see how my kid is any concern of yours.” Joseph countered._ _ _ _

____“What is it you want, Joseph? Have you come to collect Kathleen just so you can drag her home by her hair and give her a few more bruises?” Rebecca challenged as she tried to position herself to appear bigger than she truly was. Joseph flashed his rotting smile. The stench of stale alcohol on his breath was almost too much to stomach, and it took all Rebecca’s will not to vomit._ _ _ _

____“Fuck off, little Mary.” Joseph growled as he leaned in further. It had been a long time since she heard anyone call her that._ _ _ _

____“No!” Rebecca shouted. It was then that Rebecca noticed Kathleen attempting to wiggle free of Joseph’s grasp. It was all the sign Rebecca needed. This was going to end, and she no longer cared how it was accomplished; so long as Kathleen was safe. “I will not allow this to continue any longer!” Rebecca protested as she jerked Kathleen free from Joseph’s grasp. Kathleen scurried around Rebecca and hid her face in the folds of her skirt._ _ _ _

____“She’s my daughter! You can’t just take her away from me. You’ve got no right!” Joseph snapped._ _ _ _

____“How much?” Rebecca asked quickly, startling herself with her own boldness._ _ _ _

____“What?” He replied, his face twisting with confusion._ _ _ _

____“How much will it take for you to turn around and walk away, forever?” Rebecca asked with all the confidence she could muster. She could feel Kathleen rustling behind her, no doubt the question shocked the little girl. The plan all along was to bargain with Joseph to secure the little girl’s safety and freedom, but Rebecca never planned for the agreement to be made in front of her._ _ _ _

____“A thousand pounds!” Joseph replied, knowing the sum was far too great to ever be met._ _ _ _

____“I don’t have that kind of money.” Rebecca replied._ _ _ _

____“Come now little Mary… I heard you found yourself a rich husband.” Joseph quipped. Rebecca stared the man down with all the fury within her soul._ _ _ _

____“Five hundred pounds.” Rebecca countered._ _ _ _

____“Fuck off!” Joseph snapped as he lunged to grab Kathleen. Rebecca took a step back and stretched a defensive hand out in front of her. Her dark blue eyes begging for Joseph to do something foolish, anything worth of physically harming him._ _ _ _

____“Don’t you dare put your hands on her ever again!” Rebecca roared. Her voice was low and direct; unwavering despite the danger. “Take my offer, Joseph.” Rebecca said. Joseph narrowed his eyes and his chest swelled with anger._ _ _ _

____“Fine. Five hundred.” Joseph agreed._ _ _ _

____“I will ask my husband to send the money.” Rebecca replied. Joseph calmly nodded before reaching for Kathleen again. “Our deal. You turn around and walk away, remember? Just tell me where you want the money sent. I’ll see it gets to you.” Rebecca promised._ _ _ _

____“Kathleen stays with me until I get the money. How else can I ensure I get paid?” Joseph sneered._ _ _ _

____“Then I’m staying with her.” Rebecca said, causing Joseph to laugh. His laughter slowly dissipated when he realized that she was serious._ _ _ _

____“Fine. Whatever. Just get on with it.” Joseph said before turning towards home. Rebecca turned and dropped to her knees in front of Kathleen._ _ _ _

____“I am going to get you out of here. I promise you. Just a little while longer.” Rebecca said. Kathleen nodded her head, visibly shocked beyond words at what just occurred. Rebecca stood and took Kathleen’s hand before following Joseph._ _ _ _

____The single room basement apartment was in a deplorable state. The floorboards had either been removed or never existed, leaving only dirt behind. In one corner was a single bed with only a thin sheet to cover its occupant. There was no kitchen to speak of, only a large hearth with a pot for boiling. Kathleen quickly moved to the corner and pulled her legs up to her chest. Joseph did not seem bothered by it as he pulled a chair in front of the fire and lit a cigarette. Rebecca rolled her eyes at the infuriating man before moving to sit beside Kathleen in the corner. Kathleen immediately leaned into Rebecca’s chest, and she gladly opened her arms. Rebecca silently considered her limited options while stroking Kathleen’s head._ _ _ _

____“Are you hungry?” Rebecca asked Kathleen after a while. Kathleen nodded her head. “Do you have any food in the house?” Rebecca asked quietly. Kathleen shook her head no. With a sigh, Rebecca stood to her feet and moved to where Joseph sat in front of the fire. “It’s getting late. Kathleen and I can go out for some food.” Rebecca offered._ _ _ _

____“Why don’t you call your husband? Tell him you're hungry.” Joseph snapped._ _ _ _

____“My husband can’t do shit about that right now!” Rebecca shouted. Joseph bolted to his feet and knocked his chair back in the process._ _ _ _

____“She doesn’t leave my sight until I have money in hand! Do you understand me? Now, I suggest you go call your husband.” Joseph shouted as he whirled around in a rage. Rebecca stood her ground, unflinching despite Joseph’s threats. Her only regret was that she couldn’t shoot the bastard dead where he stood. “No money, no kid!” Joseph snapped._ _ _ _

____“Where’s the nearest phone?” Rebecca asked through her teeth._ _ _ _

____“Down the street, on the left.” Joseph replied. Rebecca nodded, rather than risk angering Joseph by uttering any further smart remarks. As she turned to leave, Rebecca met Kathleen’s frightened eyes._ _ _ _

____“I’ll be back in just a minute.” Rebecca promised. Kathleen nodded her head, a tear sliding down her bruised cheek. Rebecca hurried down the street and made a right at the corner. Her hands trembled as she dialed the phone and waited for a response. It felt as though she would burst with anticipation before anyone answered. Then Mary’s bright British accent echoed into her ear._ _ _ _

____“Shelby residence.” Mary greeted._ _ _ _

____“Mary, it’s Rebecca. Is Tommy home?” Rebecca asked quickly._ _ _ _

____“Mrs. Shelby! Where have you gone? Oh please, Mrs. Shelby, come home.” Mary begged._ _ _ _

____“I’m alright, Mary.” Rebecca reassured the concerned housekeeper. “Is Tommy at home?” She asked._ _ _ _

____“Yes, I’ll go and fetch him.” Mary replied. Rebecca heard the phone clank against the varnished wood table as Mary went to fetch Tommy. She looked around the dark streets, a sense of urgency bubbling up from within._ _ _ _

____“Rebecca.” Tommy answered a few moments later. Suddenly her breath hitched in her throat. It had been so long since she’d heard that smooth, seductive Birmingham drawl. She had missed it terribly._ _ _ _

____“Tommy…” Rebecca whispered, fighting back the tears that were rapidly formed in her eyes. “Oh, Tommy… I am so sorry. I know I have no right-” Despite imagining this conversation a thousand times over in her head, Rebecca now struggled to find her words._ _ _ _

____“Are you alright?” Tommy interrupted, his voice heavily guarding the fear that was squeezing his heart._ _ _ _

____“I’m alright. But please, Tommy I need to-”_ _ _ _

____“Rebecca, unless you are in immediate danger. I need you to stop talking and write to me. Do you understand?” Tommy asked._ _ _ _

____“Why? Why won’t you talk to me?” Rebecca frantically asked. The fear rapidly rose from the depths of her soul and threatened to overtake her._ _ _ _

____“Rebecca-” Tommy started._ _ _ _

____“Tommy, please! I’m sorry. I’ve made you angry and I deserve every bit of your anger, but I need your help.” Rebecca managed to spit out her desperate plea before being interrupted again._ _ _ _

____“Rebecca!” Tommy snapped. “Write to me.” Tommy begged. Rebecca sniffled as she wiped the hot tears from her face._ _ _ _

____“I’ll write to you then.” Rebecca replied, her disappointment evident. Waiting for mail would only make the process of freeing Kathleen longer._ _ _ _

____“Good night.” Tommy said._ _ _ _

____“I love you, Tommy.” Rebecca whispered desperately._ _ _ _

“Me too.” Tommy said before dropping the phone back into the holder. Rebecca leaned her head against the side of the phonebooth, her heart shattering like the thinnest sheet of glass. Desperate tears rolled down her face, but Rebecca only allowed herself a few moments of release before making her way back to the apartment. It would all be alright, Rebecca told herself. She could watch over Kathleen until Tommy sent the money. Surely, he would do it. Pausing on the steps, Rebecca took in a trembling breath and gather her courage. _Everything would be alright._

____

____

______ _ _ _ _

______Even in the luxary of Arrow House, the summer heat made it impossible to sleep comfortably. Tommy shifted around in the bed before turning onto his back. His blue eyes gazed up at the ceiling as he mentally cursed the heat. The night had been a hellish fever. The sweaty, sexual tension made it near impossible for Tommy to separate the mind fucking from reality. Knowing that any further attempts at sleep would ultimately be in vain, Tommy rose from his bed and dressed for the long day ahead. He had to tell Arthur and John what he learned from Tatiana last night. With any hopes, they would have information in return._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You look like shit!” Polly said once Lizzie pushed Esme back into the betting shop. Tommy shifted his blue eyes to acknowledge his aunt’s astute observation._ _ _ _ _ _

______“How do you feel? After the day and night you had, your head must be pounding, Pol. I imagine it would take a hell of a lot for you to be giving speeches off the back of a wagon.” Tommy remarked before returning the cigarette to his lips._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Did you sleep?” Pol inquired from across the room._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No, not much.” Tommy replied as he pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down._ _ _ _ _ _

______“So your night was productive then.” Polly said as more of a statement than a question. Tommy shifted his icy blue eyes to Polly’s stern glare._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I was doing business, Pol. It doesn’t mean anything.” Tommy replied, knowing full well his aunt’s feelings towards his wife._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m not sure your wife would see your doings last night in the same light, Thomas.” Polly protested, a slight hint of satisfaction in her voice. “I heard you sent Ada back to London.” Polly continued on with her assault as she took the chair opposite of his._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I sent her back to London to get her affairs in order before she sails to America.” Tommy explained as he brought the cigarette to his lips. Polly raised an eyebrow, skeptical of the entire arrangement._ _ _ _ _ _

______“And why exactly did you offer to send your sister across the ocean to a place where she’ll have no one to protect her? She’s shown no interest in the company.” Polly asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“The Boston office is one hundred percent legal. It will be a fresh start for her and Karl. After all that she’s been through, she deserves to be happy.” Tommy replied. Polly rolled her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That sounds nice, Thomas. But you and I both know that’s not the reason. What’s the real reason your sending Ada to America?” She pressed. Tommy begrudgingly looked back at his aunt. No part of him wanted to continue with this conversation, but Polly would persist until she was satisfied that Ada would be safe._ _ _ _ _ _

______“The Russians view her as a security breach. When they found out that she helping me take care of James and staying at the house, they threatened to kill her. It was the only way to guarantee her safety.” Tommy replied, carefully concealing the extreme distress the situation caused him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Shit.” Polly muttered. Slowly, she rose and moved to look out the small window. Tommy continued silently smoking, while Polly absorbed his words. “Is anyone else in danger?” Polly asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“We’re all in danger, Pol.” Tommy said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“And despite everything you have on, you still intend to rob them?” Polly pressed. Tommy kept his eyes fixed on the table, refusing to meet Polly’s irritated gaze. “Despite the fact that your son has already lost his mother, you’re still prepared to get yourself killed? Fucking selfish!” Polly pushed, marching back to where Tommy sat. Slowly, Tommy moved his eyes up to meet Polly’s stern, disapproving gaze._ _ _ _ _ _

______“This is a bad business, Pol. You know that as well as I do. We have to be worse than them if we want to beat them.” Tommy countered. He leaned back in his chair, looking too relaxed for Polly’s liking. She wanted to box his ears for being such a fool._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Did you tell anyone else about the priest?” Polly asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No. Just you.” Tommy replied. Polly cursed under her breath._ _ _ _ _ _

______“If your plan fails, I’ll hang you myself.” Polly snapped. Tommy cracked a smile and turned his eyes back to the ceiling._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Get in the queue.” Tommy replied. Polly shook her head in utter frustration before storming into the betting shop, leaving Tommy alone with his thoughts. Turning his eyes up to the ceiling, Tommy brought the cigarette back and forth to his lips while he considered the next steps. When his cigarette had burned down to the end he went in search of Lizzie. He needed her to send a telegram down to London. To an old friend and rival._ _ _ _ _ _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everybody - I couldn’t think of a title for this chapter. Nothing I tried out seemed to fit perfectly. So until I can think one up and decide on it, this chapter will just be plain old chapter 7.

“Sleep well,” Rebecca whispered, a small smile forming on her lips. Kathleen nodded her head as she snuggled the thin blanket securely under her chin. Her heavy eyes fluttered closed with ease. The presence of her protector promising the little girl a much needed night of rest. Rebecca rose from the bed to find Joseph sat in front of the fire. Hatred quickly seeped up from her feet until it gripped her heart. For a moment, she contemplated smashing a hard object over his head. He had consumed over half a bottle of liquor, and his reflexes were bound to be diminished as a result. Unfortunately, a single blow to the head was not likely to kill him. Joseph was like a cockroach. He would not be so easily dealt with. As if he could read her mind, Joseph turned his head sideways so that he could monitor her movements. 

“Hope you aren’t thinking of trying anything stupid, little Mary.” Joseph mocked. 

“Make no mistake, I have dreamt up a hundred ways I wished you dead over the years, Joseph O’Sullivan,” Rebecca whispered, her blue eyes burning holes in Joseph’s head. A chuckle erupted from deep in Joseph’s chest. Clearly, he thought her words hollow. “If it weren’t for Kathleen, you would be burning in the pits of hell at this very moment.” Rebecca hissed, her anger growing with every condescending look and word Joseph sent her way. Unbeknownst to Rebecca, her harsh words were like kerosene to the angry fire that burned within Joseph’s black soul. His feet hit the ground with a loud bang as he swiftly turned to face the woman who refused to cower in his presence. 

“Your husband ought to teach you a lesson.” Joseph spat as he shook a disapproving finger at her. 

“How many lessons did you have to teach Sarah, huh?” Rebecca fired back, quickly closing the gap between them. She straightened her back and narrowed her deep blue eyes on Joseph’s mud-brown ones. “Weak men beat down strong women so they don’t feel so pathetic.” She snapped. Joseph couldn’t help but shake his head and smirk at Rebecca’s boldness. His patience wearing away with each passing moment. “I bet it made you feel like a real man when Sarah crumpled to the floor and begged for mercy. How about when you broke her arm with your boot because she tried to protect her unborn child? Your daughter! Huh? Did you feel like a real man then, Joseph?” Rebecca shouted as she lost all control of the words flying from her mouth. Joseph sprang into action with terrifying speed. Rebecca backed away slowly as the adrenaline pumped into her bloodstream. Joseph mirrored Rebecca’s every step, his eyes carefully following his prey around the room. Despite the excessive amount of alcohol he consumed throughout the afternoon and evening, his movements were as swift as a bolt of lightning. Instantly, the regret gripped Rebecca’s stomach. Her impulsive and emotional decision to taunt Joseph was going to backfire badly. She could feel it coming; a deep ache in her bones. In the back of her mind, Rebecca heard Polly’s wise words from many years ago. She was here to keep Kathleen safe long enough for Tommy to send the money. Now, Rebecca feared that she would not survive long enough to set Kathleen free. With a single swift sweep of his arm, Joseph pulled Rebecca tight to his chest and drug her to the floor. Rebecca sucked in a gulp of dirt as Joseph pressed her face into the filthy floor. She could feel his knee on her back, and despite her attempts to wiggle free, he did not budge. 

“You think you know it all, you fucking bitch!” Joseph shouted. Rebecca’s arms and legs thrashed in a desperate attempt to throw off Joseph’s weight, but it was no use. “I’m going to show you what happens to little girls who don’t do as they’re told!” Joseph raged as he turned Rebecca over onto her back. It was all the time she needed to deliver a single punch to Joseph’s nose. He howled in pain as he cradled his bleeding nose. “Shit! You broke my nose! You fucking bitch!” He shouted as Rebecca used her hands and feet to scoot out from underneath his weight. “You’re going to pay for that!” He hissed as he grabbed ahold of her ankle and pulled her back toward him. Rebecca cried out with all the anger and fear within her. She sorely regretted misjudging her opponent's level of intoxication, but all she could do now was fight. Her palms scraped against the ground as Joseph pulled her back into his grasp. The struggle for control ended when Joseph pinned Rebecca’s back to the ground. His fists moved in a surge of rage, one after the other in rapid succession. Rebecca coughed and gasped for breath as the wind was repeatedly sucked from her body. Bringing both hands around her neck, Joseph shook her violently as he squeezed the remaining air from her body. Through her tears, Rebecca could only make out the dark outline of Joseph hovering above her. The room was quickly fading into darkness due to a lack of air, which only pushed Rebecca to fight harder. Despair filled her gut as her mind shifted back to Tommy and James. The tears streamed down her face as the realization set in. She was going to die. Kathleen would likely be next. James would grow up without a mother and Tommy would be doomed to walk alone in the void forever. The memory of their marriage marred and fractured. Suddenly Joseph’s weight was lifted and Rebecca was able to gulp in a full breath. She sat up as her coughing spell continued. It took a few moments of recovery before she became fully aware of what had happened. Kathleen was standing beside her father’s limp body with a bloody fire poker in her hand. Joseph’s cries had faded into shallow guttural breaths. 

“Kathleen!” Rebecca shouted hysterically as she crawled over to the little girl. She ripped the poker from Kathleen’s petite hand and tossed it to the ground. Kathleen did not resist when Rebecca pulled her protectively against her chest and away from Joseph. From the looks of it, Kathleen had struck Joseph twice – once in the back of the head and once in the neck. His breathing had already begun to slow and he was losing blood fast from the wound at the base of his skull. Rebecca pulled away to cup Kathleen’s face in her hands and examined her face. The blank, distant look in Kathleen’s big green eyes was an all too familiar sight. Rebecca had seen that look on Tommy’s face on more than one occasion. 

“Did I kill him?” Kathleen whispered. Rebecca swallowed the lump in her throat. 

“No, dear. He’s still alive.” Rebecca replied. “You didn’t kill him.” She reassured the girl.

“He was going to kill you, just like he killed my mommy.” Kathleen said, her eyes fixed on the expanding pool of blood on the floor. Rebecca pulled Kathleen back into her arms, wishing that she could have spared the little girl the trauma she had just endured. 

“It’s alright. Everything will be alright.” Rebecca whispered as she reassuringly smoothed Kathleen’s hair. “Go put your boots on. Quick.” Rebecca urged the little girl. Kathleen did as she was told and went to fetch her boots from underneath the bed. Turning back to examine Joseph, Rebecca debated what to do next. They could just run. Surely he would die from his injuries, Rebecca thought. No one could survive such a devastating injury. He was barely breathing as it was. Then she remembered. Men did survived grave injuries and accidents. Tommy was living proof of that. He had dug himself out of a collapsed tunnel bleeding and badly injured during the war. In fear, Rebecca decided that leaving Joseph to die on his own was too risky. If he did manage to survive, he could go to the police and come after Kathleen. Rebecca rose to her feet just as Kathleen returned with her boots on. “I want you to wait outside for me.” Rebecca said, her voice wavering with tears now. Surprisingly, Kathleen left without protest. Once the door was shut, Rebecca returned her attention to Joseph. _Fuck. _Her palms began to sweat as the adrenaline and fear churned in the pit of her stomach. She felt totally lost; as though she’d forgotten how to kill a man. Her blue eyes closed as she tilted her head up to heaven.__

____

____

“God forgive me.” Rebecca whispered as she opened her eyes. She bent down and took the discarded poker in her hand. Gripping the end of it tightly in her hands, Rebecca pulled her arms up over her head and delivered a final blow. The room fell even deeper into eerie silence. Rebecca paused to observe any further signs of life from Joseph. Her chest heaved as a flood of tears suddenly rose to her eyes. She was relieved that the burden would be hers to suffer, not Kathleen’s. But that was the end of Rebecca’s relief. She flung the bloody poker into the fire in a surge of rage. The fire flashed and bathed the room in warm light. Rebecca turned and in doing so, surrendered Joseph’s soul to the flames of hell. 

 

“Kathleen, wake up sweetheart.” Rebecca gently stirred the little redhead from her deep sleep. A muffled groan could be heard as she flopped onto her back. Her bright red hair strewn all over her face. Rebecca smiled as she swept the unruly strands away from Kathleen’s face. “Come on. Time to get up.” Rebecca informed the girl. Reluctantly, Kathleen moved to the edge of the bed and jumped to the floor. The little girl’s resilience astounded Rebecca. She cried for a day or two afterward, but despite the trauma, Kathleen seemed to be adjusting. 

“Are we leaving today?” Kathleen asked. Rebecca helped Kathleen to slip the light blue summer dress over her head. It was one of the three new dresses Rebecca purchased for the girl; along with brand new undergarments, a pair of black shoes, and stockings. 

“No. Today, I need to see to some paperwork. We’ll be on our way to Liverpool by weeks end.” Rebecca replied. Kathleen finished preparing herself for the day but asked if Rebecca would braid her hair. 

“What if he doesn’t like me?” Kathleen asked, shattering the early morning quiet. Rebecca’s fingers stilled. Her heart ached for the little girl who was so desperate for love and acceptance. 

“Don’t you worry about that now. Tommy doesn’t warm up to anyone very quickly. He needs time to decide whether or not he trusts you. But once he trusts you, well… he’s different.” Rebecca answered. Kathleen nodded and quietly accepted the answer. Rebecca pressed her further, sensing that something else was still bothering the little girl. “Is something else troubling you Kathleen?”

“He looks angry in his picture. What if he’s angry at me for what I’ve done.” Kathleen whispered, her shame palpable in the small room. Rebecca’s heart sank with sadness. The years of abuse birthed a deep mistrust in Kathleen. The recent violent events were proof of the severity of the damage Joseph had done to his only daughter. Rebecca was not ignorant to think that simply removing Joseph from Kathleen’s life would make all the pain go away. No. There were years of painful memories that could never be erased, no matter how much she or Tommy loved her. Rebecca could only hope that love would be enough to help Kathleen overcome the darkness of her past. 

“Listen to me,” Rebecca said as she turned Kathleen around so that they were face to face. “No one is blaming you for what you’ve done. And no one is going to hurt you the way your father did. Not ever again, you hear me? Anyone who so much as tries will have to go through me first.” Rebecca promised. Kathleen nodded her head, her eyes falling to the floor in shame. “Now you’ll have to be gentle with Tommy. He’s never had to deal with a little girl before so you’ll have to help him along. He isn’t perfect; far from it in fact, but he will not be cruel to you. I promise you that.” Rebecca added, hoping the extra reassurance would lift Kathleen’s spirits a bit. 

“What should I call him?” Kathleen asked, her tone lifting slightly after Rebecca’s reassuring words. 

“Well… I’m sure Tommy or uncle Tommy would be fine. His brothers call him Tom, and his aunt Polly calls him Thomas.” Rebecca replied as she returned to braiding Kathleen’s hair. With Kathleen’s braid completed both women set off for the day. Rebecca made sure to keep a tight hold on Kathleen’s hand as they made their way towards Immaculate Heart of Mary. Ever since Joseph’s death, Rebecca did her best to keep Kathleen inside. It seemed to be the safest plan forward. Thankfully, the little girl was blissfully unaware of the turmoil waging in her aunt’s soul as they rounded the corner and the church came into view. Rebecca had wrestled with the idea of bringing the little girl on such an errand. In the end, she thought it best to take Kathleen along rather than leave her alone. Rebecca’s heart began to beat wildly in her chest as they entered the church. All of her thoughts and memories were mixing into an awful muddy color in her brain. The happy memories being covered by the dark sins of the past few weeks. The pair made their way through the maze of stone passages until they came to the door with a cross on it. “Wait here for me, Kathleen.” Rebecca rasped, her throat now dry with nerves. She swallowed hard, and for a split second, she considered the fact that that Father O’Shea may have died that day in the warehouse. When she pushed the heavy wood door open, she was both surprised and relieved to find a familiar figure knelt in prayer. He continued whispering in Latin with his hands folded, his eyes fixed on the crucifix hanging on the wall. 

“Father,” Rebecca called softly. Father O’Shea made the sign of the cross and slowly stood to his feet. His movements appeared difficult and painful. When he turned, Rebecca was surprised to find his face pale and gaunt. 

“Rebecca,” He greeted. “You are the last person I expected to see in my office.” He said as he moved to sit in the cushioned chair behind his desk. 

“I came to ask you about something,” Rebecca replied. He nodded his head in understanding. 

“I will absolve you of your sins, child.” Father O’Shea offered. Rebecca shook her head and took a step toward the desk. 

“No, Father, that’s not why I’ve come.” Rebecca fought a soft laugh as the thought crossed her mind. “This is your chance to make something right. It won’t bring back my father or mother, or take back all the pain you’ve caused, but you can make things right for a little girl.” Rebecca explained. 

“What is your request?” Father O’Shea asked cautiously. 

“My cousin Sarah, you remember her don’t you?” Rebecca started. Father O’Shea nodded for her to proceed. “Her daughter Kathleen has no one left in this world. She needs a family. I want—no need you to make her legally mine so I can take her back to England.” Rebecca explained. 

“Why should I sign over an innocent child to a madwoman such as yourself? She’d be better off in the orphanage. At least there she would have someone of good moral character to guide her. You’re lucky I don’t alert the police!” Father O’Shea countered. 

“Father, if you tell the police about anything that happened in that warehouse you will only be incriminating yourself.” Rebecca put her hands on the desk and leaned in. Her deep blue eyes narrowing in on the despicable man seated in front of her. “I mean, you went along with a plan to drug and kidnap an innocent woman. You murdered my father and aided two murderous bastards in covering up my mother’s murder. I’m sure it will take the police years to dig through all the dirt in your past.” Rebecca threatened. “I think it would be wise to do what I ask you to do, Father O’Shea.” Rebecca loomed over the elderly man. Her blue eyes fixated on the ailing priest as the room fell into silent suspense. 

“You think I’m afraid of the police?” Father O’Shea cracked a deranged smile. He chuckled a few times before the pain in his side stopped him from indulging any further. Rebecca eyed the area where she’d stabbed him. He was cradling the healing wound now, the pain still very present. “No officer in this city—this entire country would dare cross a Holy Father.” Father O’Shea said.

“What if I just fucking kill you?” Rebecca offered as she drew her revolver from underneath her dress. This time her movements were swift, and she did not falter as she did on the day of her kidnapping. 

“Then I would be dead and you still would not have the paperwork you require.” Father O’Shea replied confidently. Rebecca hated it, but he was right. She would have a dead priest and nothing to show for it. “Is that not the reason you instructed Patrick to tend my wounds? So that I may be of use to you at a later date?” He pressed, having full knowledge of her intentions. 

“What do you want?” Rebecca asked, unable to hold back the frustration seeping into her voice. Once again, Father O’Shea flashed a sickening smile. 

“Money.” He replied.

“Money?” Rebecca snapped. 

“Yes, money.” He nodded. Rebecca’s head spun as she thought of how to respond and what to do next. 

“Here. Take it.” Rebecca snapped in frustration. She quickly returned the gun to its holster before pulling out a handful of bills. Father O’Shea eyed the crumpled bills that were strewn across his desk. “Do the paperwork,” Rebecca demanded through her teeth. The priest’s eyes flickered to meet the brunette’s dark blue orbs, both bound to their ambitious demands. Slowly, Father O’Shea opened his desk drawer and pulled out a form. 

“Would you like me to fix the church register as well?” Father O’Shea asked, although his tone was far from genuine. 

“Just do what is necessary so that I can get her the fuck out of here,” Rebecca replied. The priest gently nodded his head before turning his attention to the paperwork. He completed the paperwork in silence, only speaking in order to ask Rebecca for names and birthdates. 

“This should be all that is required.” Father O’Shea said as he handed her the folded piece of paper. Rebecca unfolded the paperwork and quickly examined the lines for accurate names and dates. 

“Thank you,” Rebecca said before turning to leave. 

“Rebecca,” Father O’Shea called. She turned back to find the priest slowly rising to his feet. “Why did you come back? It was a risk.” He asked. Rebecca couldn’t hold back the soft smile forming on her lips. 

“I did not come here, to Dublin that is, with the purpose of taking Kathleen home with me. I came for the truth, and now I have it. Kathleen is what kept me here. Now it’s time for me to go.” Rebecca replied. 

“You trusted me enough to complete this delicate task, even after everything I’ve done. Why?” Father O’Shea asked gently, now genuinely seeking the truth. Rebecca shrugged her shoulders. 

“I hoped that deep down somewhere there would be some shred of goodness left in you. And if your soul had been truly lost to the darkness, I figured I could bully or bribe you into doing what I asked.” Rebecca answered honestly. Father O’Shea nodded his head. “Goodbye, Father. I don’t imagine we will meet again.” Rebecca said. 

“Right you are.” Father O’Shea nodded her onward. Rebecca slipped out of his office without another word and quietly led Kathleen back out into the street. 

 

Tommy sat behind his desk reviewing stacks of paperwork. Most days he stayed buried in it. Tommy felt like every day Lizzie brought a larger stack than the day before that needed his review or approval. The business was booming – legal and off-track. The Peaky Blinders controlled all of the Birmingham and London outfits. The major families all paid for protection and the ability to run small scale operations of their own. The numerous automobile factories owned by Shelby Company Limited were profitable enough on their own. But no amount of financial success seemed to be enough to satisfy Tommy. He always found room for new ventures, and avenues for making their illegal funds look legal. He appeared seemingly hard at work, but in truth, his mind was far from focused. Arthur’s words played over and over again in his head. ‘I’m ganna be a fucking dad.’ He should have been happy for his brother. Fatherhood was complicated and changed a man’s priorities. Maybe that’s what bothered him. It was a fear of any further change in Arthur that unsettled Tommy. Arthur had gone soft because of Linda and her religion; a baby would only make the previously ruthless Blinder into a total pushover. Tommy set aside thoughts of Arthur’s new baby in order to focus on the serious task at hand. He had permission from the Russians to kill the priest. Now he had to come up with a plan. He slammed the paper on his desk and rubbed his eyes. Fuck it, Tommy thought as he went to fetch a whiskey. 

“Tommy,” Lizzie called as she knocked and opened the door simultaneously. She had been a pain in the ass ever since the whole incident with the Changretta’s. Tommy turned, a rather unamused look on his face. “You have a phone call. It’s Moss. He says it's urgent.” Lizzie said as she crossed her arms over her chest. Tommy downed his glass and nodded. 

“Thank you, Lizzie,” Tommy replied, before returning to his desk. Lizzie remained unmoved in the doorway, a disdainful scowl on her face. “I’ll take it in here. You can go.” Tommy said as he returned to his seat. He lit a cigarette before picking up the line. “Moss,” Tommy prompted the man to speak. 

“Mr. Shelby, I’ve heard from my contacts in Liverpool. We found her name on a ship manifest. She’ll be in Liverpool before the weeks out.” Moss reported. Tommy almost dropped the phone in shock. Three months she’d been gone. Besides the one desperate late-night phone call, he had not spoken to his wife since her departure. She never did write to him as he had asked. He fell back in his leather chair as a chuckle of disbelief left his lips. 

“Fuck.” It was all Tommy could manage to say. He shook his head as he considered what to do. 

“I could have my contacts in Liverpool pick her up. Bring her home, unless you rather collect her yourself.” Moss offered.

“Have her picked up, then call me,” Tommy ordered before hanging up the phone. He leaned his head back on the cushioned leather and brought the cigarette up to his lips. As he exhaled the smoke he tried and failed to suppress a chuckle of disbelief from escaping his lips. His mind was now completely consumed with thoughts of his wife. His eyes slid closed and images of Rebecca floated across his mind. God, she was beautiful, Tommy thought.

 

Rebecca and Kathleen held tightly to one another as they made their way through the thick crowd of arrivals in Liverpool. Her heart continued to beat wildly as her nerves frayed even further. From the time the pair boarded the boat in Dublin until they arrived in Liverpool, Rebecca had whispered every holy prayer in her memory. She had foolishly built up leaving England as the most painful part of her mission, but the prospect of facing Tommy made Rebecca want to vomit. The nauseous feeling never seemed to fade; her stomach stayed tied up in knots the entire voyage. The swaying on the waves had been torture.

“Aunt Rebecca, I’m scared,” Kathleen said as she looked up at her aunt with her big green eyes. Rebecca sighed and forced a smile onto her face. She set the suitcase on the ground and bent down so that she could look the girl in the eyes.

“It will be alright. I’m a bit nervous too.” Rebecca replied gently as she smoothed Kathleen’s unruly red hair. Kathleen wrapped her arms around Rebecca and nestled her head into her neck. Rebecca held Kathleen tight, giving the frightened girl a moment to relax before continuing. “I know you’re nervous and scared, but I promise you that everything will be alright.” Rebecca tried to reassure her. Kathleen nodded and Rebecca slowly stood to her feet. 

“Rebecca Shelby.” A man called. Rebecca looked over her shoulder, her blue eyes quickly locating the man who’d called her name. Rebecca placed a protective hand on Kathleen’s shoulder and pulled the little girl into her side. 

“What do you want?” Rebecca asked defensively. 

“You need to come with us. Bosses orders.” The uniformed officer demanded. A police officer who knew her name, and was demanding things of her added up to nothing good in Rebecca’s mind.

“Why?” Rebecca fired back. She moved Kathleen further behind her but made sure to keep a protective grip on the little girl’s shoulder. There was no doubt that Kathleen was terrified by the two towering men in uniform, and Rebecca’s heart sank knowing that there was most likely little she could do to comfort her. 

“Come on! You’re coming with us.” The other officer replied roughly. Without further explanation the officer took Rebecca by the arm, ripping her away from Kathleen. The little girl began to sob loudly as she watched the scene unfold, hot tears streamed down her cheeks. When the officer reached out to grab Kathleen, she screamed at the top of her lungs and disappeared into the thick crowd of people. 

“Kathleen!” Rebecca shouted at the top of her lungs as the officer struggled to keep hold of her. With her one free hand, Rebecca struck the officer and slipped out of his grasp. “Stop it! You're scaring her!” Rebecca shouted as she ran after Kathleen and the officer. The second officer finally caught Kathleen by the elbow and jerked her into his grasp. She let out a defeated wail and crumpled to the ground. It should have been obvious that she was desperately afraid, but the officer showed no mercy to the little girl. The first officer, now bleeding from the mouth, pulled on Rebecca’s elbow. The officer’s jerky movement threw her off balance and before she could stop herself, Rebecca found herself tumbling to the ground. She groaned in pain as she laid face down in the dirt. There was no use in continuing to fight them. In the back of her mind, Rebecca knew that the more she fought the police they would only retaliate with more force. She did not want Kathleen to witness any more violence. Exhausted and defeated, Rebecca waited in the dirty for the officer to pull her back to her feet. The second officer followed close behind with a sobbing Kathleen in his arms. 

 

“Sergeant Moss to see you, sir,” Lizzie announced. Tommy quickly shoved the bullet with Hughes' name etched on the side into the chamber before holstering his revolver. An uneasy appearing Sergeant Moss entered Tommy’s office and Lizzie closed the door quietly behind him. 

“I was just on my way out. What do you want, Moss?” Tommy asked, not bothering to disguise his lack of interest in the matter. Moss cleared his throat and straightened his back in an attempt to appear confident, or at the very least less afraid. 

“Your wife is in Liverpool. She is at the police station.” Moss reported. 

“Why is my wife in a police station?” Tommy asked, his spine straightening. He could only imagine what the fuck she’d done to end up in a cell. Moss wrung his hands together, the palms damp with nervous sweat. 

“My contacts said things got a bit out of hand when they went to collect her from the docks.” Moss started. 

“In what way?” Tommy pressed. Moss faltered. “Fucking say it already!” Tommy barked, completely losing his patience this time. 

“She punched a uniformed officer in the mouth. There was a pursuit involving a little girl. Rebecca fell down, but she isn’t hurt.” Moss explained. Tommy put his hands on his hips as he moved to the window and considered what to do. 

“Fuck it,” Tommy muttered as he marched out of his office. He snatched his overcoat and cap from the coatrack as he pushed past Moss. “Get out of my office Moss!” Tommy shouted when he was halfway down the hall. 

 

Tommy smoked his entire case of cigarettes on the drive up to Liverpool. He craved a whiskey, but left in such a hurry there was no time for preparations. The long drive allowed him time to painstakingly craft the perfect combination of words to say when he got there. His brain screamed, _‘You fucking fool. How could you leave? I opened my heart and this is how you repay me?’ _while his heart longed to hold her and never let go again. His plan to kill the priest now utterly forgotten. It was well after dark by the time Tommy arrived in Liverpool. He was greeted at the door by an officer, one of Moss’s contacts he assumed. The man tried to justify his actions and quickly made excuses. Not one to accept any bullshit, Tommy marched down the dark hall with the officer hot on his heels. The officer still attempting to explain why he had treated his wife like a common criminal. The longer the man blathered on the more Tommy saw the color red.__

__“Mr. Shelby, your wife struck my partner. In front of witnesses! It’s a crime against an officer.” The officer explained. Tommy spun on his heel, his dangerous blue glare narrowing on the man who dared to defend his actions. The officer shrank as Tommy’s hand grasped his neck. Tommy tightened his grip and pressed the officer’s back into the wall until he was squirming for air._ _

__“I think you forget who you are speaking to. Now, I want you to understand something. When you leave this place, you are going to disappear. Forever. You understand me?” Tommy hissed as he pointed an accusing finger at the man. “You are going to bring me to my wife and if I find so much as a scratch on her, your family will disappear along with you.” Tommy threatened. The officer nodded his head to the best of his ability. His face crumpling at Tommy’s threat._ _

__“Yes, Mr. Shelby.” The officer cried. Tommy released his neck and shoved him down the dark corridor. Rebecca shot to her feet when she heard the heavy cell door squeal open. Her heart raced with fear and anger. She was afraid for Kathleen, alone in a strange place with men. But all of those thoughts faded away as Tommy entered her cell._ _

__“Hello Rebecca,” Tommy said. His face was as guarded and his tone unfeeling. Rebecca had no idea that just the sight of her sucked the breath from Tommy’s lungs._ _

__“You had me fucking arrested, Thomas!” Rebecca accused as she crossed her arms._ _

__“No.” Tommy shook his head. “You landed here all on your own. I heard you punched a poor man in the face.” Tommy said._ _

__“I was defending myself.” Rebecca snapped. Tommy nodded his head if only to pacify her growing anger. “I had a gun on me,” Rebecca admitted, a sliver of fear slipping into her voice._ _

__“I’ll take care of it,” Tommy replied. His blue eyes quickly looked her over. Aside from a bit of dirt, she looked perfectly fine. He’d make sure she was alright later, right now he couldn’t go there. He still had a business to attend to._ _

__“So what now?” Rebecca asked._ _

__“Home,” Tommy said. He pounded on the door and the officer on the opposite side opened it._ _

__“That’s it? I leave for three months and you just say let’s go home?” Rebecca asked in disbelief as she followed after him. She wasn’t angry, but terribly confused. The entire time she had expected the worst from him. She prepared herself for a bitter battle upon her return, but never his acceptance. Tommy stopped and turned, his expression unreadable to her in the dim light._ _

__“You’ve had a long day. We’ll talk about this at home. Now can we go home?” Tommy’s request sounded more like an ultimatum the way his frustration had slipped into his voice. He turned and continued down the hallway, expecting Rebecca to follow._ _

__“Not without Kathleen!” Rebecca called after him. Tommy turned again to find her unmoved from the doorway, her hands perfectly placed on her hips._ _

__“What are you talking about?” Tommy snapped harshly as he marched back to meet her. His stern blue eyes finding their match in Rebecca’s determined stare._ _

__“She’s my cousin Sarah’s girl,” Rebecca replied. There was a hell of a lot more to that story, but in the current situation, she did not want to explain._ _

__“A kid? How the fuck did you get her into the country?” Tommy questioned, his voice falling into quiet intensity. Rebecca’s secrecy troubled Tommy, and deep down he knew that there something more to the story. He closed the gap between them, his gaze even harsher now._ _

__“It’s a long story, Tommy.” Rebecca whispered._ _

__“Talk fast then.” Tommy countered._ _

__“My cousin Sarah was forced to marry a boy she fucked with once. Joseph was charming, but also violent. He beat her even when she was pregnant. He never let up on her, Tommy. He swore it wasn’t a crime to discipline his wife, and no one would give her permission to leave even if she had told anyone. I was seventeen when she died. No one asked questions, but it didn’t take much to put it together. All the signs were there. Why else would they have denied a young, innocent mother an open casket? I looked… it looked like he took her face off…” Rebecca whispered as she turned her blue eyes to the floor. Her own anger and sadness never faded, even after so many years. Even after putting an end to the man who’d killed her cousin. Tommy heard Rebecca sniffle as she brushed the tear from her cheek._ _

__“Rebecca…” Tommy whispered._ _

__“Kathleen is Sarah’s only child. She’s nine years old.” Rebecca said as she looked up. Tommy could see the tears brimming in her eyes, just waiting to cascade down her porcelain cheeks. “She’s beautiful, just like her mother.” She stopped, fearing that she would lose all control if she continued. The bile was rising in her throat as she prepared to speak the horrible words. Tommy grasped her shoulders and stared deeply into her teary eyes._ _

__“We can talk about the rest of it later. Let’s go get her.” Tommy said, his tone softening slightly. The couple was escorted to an office on the first floor at the far end of a long hall. It appeared empty, but Rebecca knew Kathleen was hiding._ _

__“Kathleen, you can come out now.” Rebecca pleaded softly as she moved behind the desk and bent down. Kathleen was huddled under the desk with her knees tucked to her chest. Her green eyes now bloodshot red with tears. “It’s alright. We’re going home now. It’s all over.” Rebecca promised. The little girl clung to Rebecca’s neck but continued to tremble with fear. Rebecca stood up, her blue eyes connecting with Tommy’s as he watched her hold tight to the little girl. Tommy put a hand on Rebecca’s back as he led her out into the street, his blue eyes glancing down briefly at the little redheaded girl that was resting her tired head on Rebecca’s shoulder._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! Tommy and Rebecca back together. Please feel free to share your thoughts!


	8. Come Clean

Come Clean

The crisp night air nipped at Rebecca’s exposed skin and sent a shiver through her body. All the warmth of summer had faded in her absence. Rebecca snuggled Kathleen closer to her chest and wrapped her overcoat around the little girl. Tommy observed his wife’s action with a sideways glance before pulling the car to the side of the road. Rebecca looked on with a bewildered expression as Tommy shed his black overcoat. 

“Here,” Tommy offered, speaking for the first time in well over an hour. Rebecca did not object and gladly leaned forwards so that Tommy could drape his coat over her shoulders. 

“It’s colder than I remember,” Rebecca commented, hoping to bring an end to their uncomfortable silence. Tommy turned his head. The full attention of Tommy’s piercing blue eyes sending a wave of nervous excitement throughout Rebecca’s body. 

“You’ve been gone a long time,” Tommy replied before returning the car to the road. Rebecca settled back in her seat, feeling quiet taken aback by Tommy’s fluctuating attitude. One minute he seemed indifferent, the next resentful, then he’d thrown in a sliver of genuine care to add to the confusion. In the silence of the car, she tried to make sense of Tommy’s behavior. By the time they returned to Arrow House Rebecca was no closer to ascertaining Tommy’s motives and intentions. Tommy carried the small case up the steps, while Rebecca cradled a now sleeping Kathleen inside. The couple stood in the foyer and stared back at one another, neither one certain of how to proceed. Thankfully, the rest of the household staff was asleep, leaving the couple to flounder in private.

“I need to get her to bed,” Rebecca said after a prolonged silence. Tommy nodded, his own heart and mind not fully prepared. He watched her frame slowly disappear up the stairs. Uncertain of how he wanted to proceed, Tommy retreated to his office in search of a much-needed cigarette and whiskey. As he paced the floor of his office, Tommy came to notice the fire had been left to slowly die out. He set his whiskey on the mantel before kneeling to revive the dying flames. The flames slowly rose to a roar with the addition of another log. The soft crackle of the wood accompanied the warm yellow glow, which provided some much-needed light and warmth to the room. Satisfied with his work, he moved to sit in one of the wingback chairs and sipped his whiskey. 

“Tommy,” Rebecca’s soft voice shattered Tommy’s trance. He turned, his back straightening at the sight of her. She stood barefoot in the center of the carpet. She looked apprehensive and unsure of how he would receive her. Tommy stood to his feet and abandoned his whiskey on the side table. He looked her over thoroughly, not rushing his inspection as he did earlier. She was beautiful and broken, mysterious and vulnerable. The expression on her face brought Tommy back to the night she had left. That night when he opened his heart to her was allowed to relish the feeling of her skin against his. Her delicate features and blue eyes were once again guarded by the shadows of firelight. Tommy noted that she had stopped to remove the pins from her hair, probably kicking off her shoes at the same time. Also, her wavy hair had been cut shorter. The fringe hanging slightly above her shoulders, giving her a more modern appearance. 

“Would you like a drink?” Tommy offered. She nodded but did not move closer when Tommy went to pour her drink. He handed her the crystal tumbler of amber liquid before returning to his seat. Rebecca took a gulp and silently mustered her courage. Tommy watched her float closer to the fire. She was freezing, her body unable to shake the early autumn chill from her bones. Tommy sipped his drink, but his blue eyes never wavered from the outline of Rebecca’s frame. 

“I am sorry for the pain I have caused you and this family.” Rebecca sighed, her shame almost unbearable. “It wasn’t easy, but I did what I thought was right.” She said. 

“Was it worth it?” Tommy asked, his tone strong and sure. It was a stark contrast to how Rebecca felt. 

“Yes,” Rebecca whispered. Finally, she turned and looked him in the eyes. Tommy’s heart squeezed in his chest as he watched the tears roll down her face. “I had to know the truth, Tommy. But now I’m so afraid that I’ve made a terrible mess of everything.” She confessed. Unable to watch her cry alone any longer, Tommy rose from his chair and wrapped his wife tight in his arms. She clung to his shirt as though he was the only person on earth who could save her from the painful, empty feeling in her soul. The pain and desperation etched into Rebecca’s delicate features made up Tommy’s mind. In hopes of calming his distraught wife, Tommy brought over an entire bottle of whiskey and filled her glass to the rim. To his surprise, Rebecca took the bottle from his hands and tilted her head back as she gulped down the amber liquid. 

“Fucking hell. Hey, take it easy.” Tommy said as he pulled the bottle from her lips. Rebecca wiped her chin with the back of her hand before looking into Tommy’s confused and concerned blue eyes. They sat down beside one another on the carpet, both of them opting to gaze at the roaring fire. Rebecca knew that she would never be able to explain everything in detail while looking into Tommy’s piercing blue eyes. She started off slow, explaining her entire journey bit by bit. She had to pause in order to force down the tears when it came to confessing the rather distressing facts. It took nearly half the night for Rebecca to explain the truth about her father’s murder, her violent abduction, the secret dealings with Father O’Shea, and the gruesome details of Joseph O’Sullivan’s murder. By the time it was Tommy’s turn to speak the bottle was half empty. The two overflowing glasses Rebecca consumed made it easy for her to relax into the vibrations of Tommy’s low voice once he began to speak. They reclined into progressively more intimate positions despite the unpleasant topic of conversation. Eventually, Tommy laid down on his back and stared up at the ceiling, crossing his legs at his ankles. Rebecca followed him down, resting her head on his chest. Neither one of them had confessed the pain and fear that held them for the past three months. 

“How do you want to handle Kathleen?” Tommy asked, shattering the still silence.

“I don’t know,” Rebecca whispered back. “She’s endured more pain than anyone ought to experience in their entire lifetime. I just don’t want to add to it.” Rebecca said. Tommy hummed in agreement. 

“Does she call you mom?” Tommy asked, mainly to gauge the expectations that would be placed on him later.

“No, it doesn’t seem right. Sarah will always be her mother, even if she doesn’t remember her at all.” Rebecca replied. 

“But you fixed the paperwork.” Tommy objected. “If someone were to look at the papers, it would appear that we had a child together in 1914. You were sixteen years old when Kathleen was born. I would have been twenty-four, give or take, and in the fucking British Army.” Tommy said, his voice thick with confusion. 

“I did what I had to make her safe!” Rebecca replied defensively. The room fell silent as they considered the weight of their new roles. Raising their own son was one thing; adopting a frightened and abused child was quite another. “Paperwork and dates aside, she’s a broken little girl, Tommy. I don’t think Joseph showed her one shred of love in nine years.” Rebecca said. 

“You did the right thing,” Tommy said. His words gave Rebecca such a feeling of relief she almost began to cry. “Joseph had to be dealt with, no doubt. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to help you.” Tommy said, the guilt building in the pit of his stomach. His mind tried to imagine the damage such a traumatic event would inflict on Kathleen’s young mind. He hated Kathleen’s father despite never having set eyes on him. He despised any man who laid hands on any woman or child. It was one of the many reasons he hated his own father.

“Do you forgive me?” Rebecca asked. Despite having just over two glasses of whiskey, she felt as though she was floating in a state of suspense with Tommy. But it was just her mind taking advantage of her exhausted, vulnerable state. The sensation of floating coming from the steady rise and fall of Tommy’s chest. 

“Yes.” Tommy hummed. 

“For everything?” Rebecca asked, her voice trailing off. 

“Yes,” Tommy replied as he rolled on his side. Rebecca propped her head up on her hand and looked into Tommy’s blue eyes. “I think I was always going to forgive you. Even if I disagreed with your decision, I knew I’d forgive you the moment I saw you.” Tommy said. 

“How come?” Rebecca asked, utterly lost in his blue eyes. 

“Because I love you,” Tommy admitted. “I loved you long before the night you told me about James, and once I started I never stopped. I couldn’t stop.” Tommy confessed. A content smile spread across Rebecca’s face as she leaned in to kiss him. Tommy eagerly brought his hand up to her face and slid his fingers into her hair. The taste of cigarettes and whiskey on Tommy’s tongue made Rebecca’s head swim with pleasure. She had spent such a long time longing for his love and comfort that she could scarcely believe that it was happening now. Rebecca welcomed Tommy’s weight when he gently rolled her onto her back. His hand skimmed down her thigh and pushed her dress up to her waist in the process. Rebecca tried to suppress the groans of pleasure rising in her throat as Tommy’s fingers continued to explore the sensitive skin. Every touch pushed Rebecca closer to the edge of bliss. She eagerly untucked his shirt from his trousers and went to work on the buttons. Tommy left a trail of kisses from her neck all the way down to the swell of her breasts. 

“Tommy,” Rebecca moaned as her eyes slid shut. Tommy looked up with a smirk playing at his lips. She looked perfect the way her mouth parted and eyes closed.

“Yes,” He hummed as he returned his lips to her neck. The heat of his breath and the vibrations of his voice against the sensitive skin sent a wave of excitement straight through Rebecca’s core. 

“I need you.” She confessed, struggling to catch her breath amidst the rising pleasure. Tommy propped himself up on his elbows and looked down into Rebecca’s eyes. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand; his heart swelling with love and desire. 

“I know.” He whispered before leaning down to kiss her lips. Tommy made quick work of removing the clothing that separated them. Their need for one another made evident by their hurried movements. Unlike the last time they had been together as husband and wife, Tommy took control. He was determined to savor every inch of her body before giving her what she wanted. The slow movements drove Rebecca beyond the point of frustration; but Tommy refused to relent even as she begged him, breathless with desire for more. 

 

The next morning, Tommy woke up after the sun for the first time in a very long time. He blinked his eyes a few times as pieces of the previous evening fell into order. It all came back to him – the tears, the whiskey, and the truth. His stiff back was enough of a reminder that they’d spent the entire night on the floor. He looked down at his sleeping wife as a content smile tugged at his lips. Not wanting to be found in such a compromising position by an unsuspecting maid or worse – Mary, Tommy gently nudged Rebecca awake. 

“Rebecca,” Tommy whispered. She stirred a little but refused to open her eyes. “Rebecca, wake up. It’s morning.” Tommy said. This time, Rebecca’s blue eyes shot open. 

“Oh gosh. Is it really?” She asked as she examined her own watch. “It’s half eight.” Rebecca groaned, looking up at a smirking Tommy. Drinking half the bottle of whiskey on his own had left Tommy no worse for wear. He easily rose to his feet and buttoned his pants. Rebecca sat on the floor, looking slightly stunned and pale. 

“Come on you.” Tommy coaxed as he helped lift her from the ground. “You remember anything from last night?” Tommy asked, leading her out of the office and toward the stairs. 

“Yes. I only had the two glasses, unlike you who had half the bottle.” Rebecca said. Tommy chuckled. 

“Two glasses and one massive swig from the bottle,” Tommy added. 

“You buying stronger liquor nowadays?” Rebecca asked. She refused to climb the stairs, fearing she’d vomit right then and there. 

“No,” Tommy said as he gently scooped her into his arms. Rebecca didn’t resist his help. Rising nausea kept her lips firmly clasp together. By the time Tommy had opened the bedroom door, Rebecca was jumping out of his arms and running for the bathroom. At that moment, Rebecca could not have been more grateful for indoor plumbing. Her lodgings in Dublin had not been so lavish and she had to make do with what was available. Tommy leaned against the doorframe and waited for her to finish. When she was certain that her stomach was completely empty she leaned back against the cool tub. It felt lovely against her warm skin.

“I feel awful,” Rebecca muttered. Tommy moved from his position by the door and bent down in front of his wife. 

“You look awful,” Tommy observed. Rebecca fought her own smile as her eyes slid closed. Tommy brought a hand to her damp forehead. “Is it just a headache and nausea?” Tommy asked, his concern growing quickly. He’d seen her hungover before but this seemed to be something totally different. She wasn’t dressed for the cold weather upon her return and spent a few hours in a damp cell the night before. Tommy feared she was coming down with something far worse than a hangover. Rebecca sucked in a shaky breath as her stomach churned dangerously again. “Let’s get you in bed,” Tommy said as he lifted her into his arms. He gently placed her on the bed, hoping she wouldn’t get sick again. 

“What are you doing?” Rebecca asked, her eyes still closed. 

“Getting you out of these clothes. Then I’m going to call the doctor to take a look at you.” Tommy replied as he unbuttoned her dress. Rebecca made no protests as he slipped the dress from her body and tucked the blankets up to her chin. Engulfed in the soft, warm bed, Rebecca found it rather easy to drift back off to sleep. Clad in only his undershirt and yesterday’s trousers, Tommy promptly went to phone the doctor. On the way back up the stairs, he came face to face with the little redhead. She promptly took a step back, her apprehension not missed by Tommy’s astute eyes. “Hello,” Tommy said. The little girl said nothing in return. Her big green eyes told Tommy everything he needed to know. She was afraid. “Kathleen, my name is Tommy. We didn’t get to meet properly last night.” Tommy said as he bent down to her height. It became increasingly clear that the little girl was not prepared to make this introduction any easier on him. “She’s sleeping. She doesn’t feel well this morning.” Tommy informed her. 

“Is she sick again?” Kathleen asked timidly. Her accent was just as thick as Rebecca’s was when she first arrived in Small Heath. Tommy would have smiled if the little girl’s statement hadn’t troubled him so much. 

“Was she sick a lot?” Tommy asked as gently as he could. 

“I remind her of my mother. It made her get sick a few times. Sometimes she gets sick for no reason.” Kathleen reported. Tommy nodded his head, trying to make sense of it all.

“Do you feel unwell?” Tommy asked. Kathleen shook her head. “Let’s go see how she is,” Tommy said as he stood and lead her down the hall to the bedroom. 

 

The doctor arrived less than an hour later to examine Rebecca and Kathleen. Tommy insisted that they both be examined because if Rebecca was sick, Kathleen could have been exposed too. Rebecca told the doctor that she felt much better after a bit of rest, and was now able to sit up in bed. She held Kathleen on her lap while the doctor examined her. She was apprehensive of the strange man, but with a bit of coaxing from Rebecca, she cooperated. Tommy kept a watchful eye from the end of the bed. 

“I don’t see any reason to worry about the girl, Mr. and Mrs. Shelby. She has no fever, no rash, and her chest is clear.” The doctor explained.

“That is very good news,” Rebecca said as she smoothed Kathleen’s hair. 

“Mr. Shelby, would you mind taking the little one out while I examine your wife?” The doctor asked. Reluctantly, Tommy led Kathleen out of the room. He looked back at Rebecca from the door, needing her confirmation to leave. Rebecca forced a smile and nodded Tommy on. Once the door shut, the doctor turned his attention back to Rebecca. “So, you’ve been vomiting and tired. Anything else bothering you, Mrs. Shelby?” He asked as he listened to her chest.

“No. I think this is just exhaustion from traveling.” Rebecca replied. 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” The doctor said as an amused expression spread across his face. He set his stethoscope aside and felt around on Rebecca’s belly. “Mrs. Shelby, when was your last flow?” The doctor asked. Rebecca struggled to remember when she’d last had her monthly cycle. Everything had been so stressful and chaotic over the past three months, she barely thought about it at all.

“Uh… I don’t remember really. Maybe June or July. I’ve been so distracted by everything.” Rebecca replied. Her heartbeat quickened with fear at what the doctor would say next. 

“I think you’re expecting a baby, Mrs. Shelby.” The doctor said. “It explains your symptoms – nausea and vomiting. The tired feeling could be due to a lack of iron. It’s not uncommon in pregnant women. I can prescribe iron tablets.” The doctor explained, but Rebecca had stopped listening. _Pregnant. _The word hit her like a ton of bricks.__

__“Are you certain?” Rebecca asked, her eyes meeting the doctors for the first time in minutes._ _

__“Yes.” He nodded. “I would say you’re at least three months along. The sickness should stop soon and you’ll be feeling much better.” He said._ _

__“Oh fuck…” Rebecca muttered under her breath._ _

__“Congratulations, Mrs. Shelby.” The doctor said as he prepared to leave._ _

__“Doctor!” Rebecca called, stopping the doctor before he could leave. “Would you mind if I told my husband myself? About the baby, I mean.” Rebecca nearly choked on the words. The doctor smiled and handed her the prescription slip._ _

__“Take the tablets. I’ll be seeing you in March, Mrs. Shelby. Call if anything seems out of sorts before then.” The doctor said as he left the room. Rebecca fell back against the pillows. Her head hurt from the thoughts moving so fast, yet she couldn’t make sense of any of it. Her mind shifted from how on earth it had happened to how she would tell Tommy. Coming home pregnant after three months didn’t put her in the best of light. Surely Tommy would take her words, she thought. But if he didn’t believe the baby was his, it would destroy their already fragile relationship. At that moment, she decided that she would keep it to herself for as long as she could. She thought that the more time she put between her homecoming and announcing her pregnancy the better._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is a bit short! I promise the next chapter will be more substantial. Feedback is always welcome!


	9. Midnight

Midnight

For the first time in months, the dark clouds over Arrow House lifted. With Rebecca returned home safe, Tommy was able to breathe a sigh of relief. Her brief bout of illness quickly resolved with a few days of rest. The truth still hidden in her heart and belly. The family reunited, and it seemed that in a moment all the pain was forgiven and forgotten. The rebuilding had begun but it was not without strife. Kathleen was the one who, at least on the outside, appeared to be struggling the most with the transition. During the first weeks in her new home, Tommy’s presence in a room reduced Kathleen to silent terror. Her big green eyes would grow wide with adrenaline and fear as she apprehensively watched him from afar. Tommy and Rebecca knew something had to be done to ease the girls intense fear, and quickly. Within the walls of Arrow House, Kathleen was safe from the chaos and danger of Russians, Section D, and Communist riots. But there would come the inevitable day when danger loomed too close to their door and Kathleen would get hurt. Tommy had to gain her trust quickly and then, perhaps in time, she would learn to trust him in return. 

 

“I need to make some calls this morning.” Tommy said as he slid the deep navy suit jacket over his shoulders. His blue eyes found Rebecca’s in the reflection of the long floor-length mirror. She tightened the silk robe around her waist before proceeding to towel dry her damp hair. 

“It’s Monday. Are you not planning to go into the office?” Rebecca asked. She moved to the wardrobe and halfheartedly thumbed through the colorful array of dresses while she awaited his response. 

“No.” Tommy replied. 

“Don’t get me wrong, Tommy. I love that you’ve taken some time to be at home. But won’t Polly be ready to gut you for disappearing?” Rebecca asked, turning and leaning against the wardrobe. “Hell! I’m surprised she hasn’t come looking for you already.” Rebecca added with a soft chuckle. 

“There were more pressing matters that required my attention.” Tommy moved the conversation on, ignoring all mention of his aunt. He straightening his tie and buttoned his jacket before turning to meet Rebecca’s deep blue eyes. “Come here.” Tommy beckoned with his hand outstretched. A small smile formed on Rebecca’s lips as she clasped her hand in his. 

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” Rebecca replied coyly. Tommy took her face gently in his hands, and in that moment Rebecca had no reason to resist him. She nestled her cheek into his comforting touch and her blue eyes slid shut as she exhaled. 

“You were gone too long, Mrs. Shelby.” Tommy whispered, his voice barely above an exhale. 

“Tommy…” Rebecca whispered in response. Her mind and words lost in the thrilling sensation of his touch. 

“Forgive me for using you as an excuse to hide from the world.” Tommy replied as he nestled his head into her shoulder. Rebecca smiled and ran her fingers through the short hairs at the base of his neck. 

“Finish this bad business, Tom. You promised me. Then we can move on from it.” Rebecca spoke softly into his ear. 

“I will sort everything out.” Tommy promised. He pulled away so that he could examine her delicate features. It was then that he noticed the absence of her locket. “Where’s your locket?” Tommy asked curiously. 

“I’m sure it’s around here somewhere.” Rebecca replied as she felt around on her neck for the missing piece of jewelry. 

“I’d start by checking between the sheets.” Tommy teased with a pleased smirk on his lips. Rebecca pushed against his chest as a deep red color crept onto her cheeks. Tommy leaned in and gently pressed a kiss on her forehead before leaving her alone to dress. As soon as the door clicked shut, Rebecca moved in front of the mirror where Tommy had previously stood. She turned sideways and slowly pulled at the silk wrap, allowing the soft fabric to fall away. A small smile tugged at her lips as she gently slid her hand over the beginnings of a small swell. It was barely noticeable, and could easily be explained away as ‘just some extra weight’. But this was so much more than extra weight. This baby was a little miracle and a promise. Shelby babies were resilient by nature, and this one had proved it over again. The baby had survived so much already – multiple violent encounters, strong chemicals, and two arduous journeys. As Rebecca dressed for the day she pondered exactly how she would break the news to Tommy. She wanted so desperately for him to be happy – to have the time to feel the full gamut of emotions an expectant father should. Perhaps after all the bad business with the Russians was done and forgotten. He promised to finish it soon. Then they could move on, Rebecca thought to herself. 

 

In usual fashion, Tommy bypassed the breakfast laid out for him and went directly to his office. He settled into his leather cushioned chair and lit a cigarette before ringing up Arthur. 

“Hello.” Arthur’s deep, rough voice crackled in from the other end. 

“Hello Arthur, it’s Tommy.” Tommy said as he leaned back in his chair. 

“Tommy! Where the fuck have you been? Polly’s about to burn your office to the fucking ground!” Arthur shouted. 

“It doesn’t matter. Arthur, have you done what’s on your list?” Tommy asked, quickly skirting around Arthur’s question. He had trusted Arthur and John to deal with the Communists working the night shift at the Lanchester factory. He hoped that they had done as they were told, and not fuck it up like with the Italians. 

“Yeah, yeah. It’s all taken care of.” Arthur confirmed. From the chaotic noise in the background, Tommy assumed the betting shop was in full swing. 

“Good.” Tommy said before moving to hang up the phone. 

“Tom, is everything alright? I mean… I know it’s not been easy since your woman left ya.” Arthur asked, the slightest hint of brotherly concern slipping into his usual gruff vibrato. 

“Couldn’t be better, Arthur.” Tommy replied. He quickly hung up the receiver before Arthur could ask another question. Tommy gazed out the window while he finished his cigarette. He contemplated the path forward. He has promised Rebecca to finish the business involving the Russians, but he could scarcely come up with a way to fast track the operation. Thoughts swirled around in Tommy’s head. His meticulous military mind fixing pieces of the jigsaw puzzle together. This had to end quickly, for everyone’s safety. He just had to figure out a plan. 

 

“Mr. Shelby, there is a telephone call.” Tommy hadn’t heard Mary knock or announce herself. Despite his surprise, he kept his blue eyes fixed on the misty green scene outside his window. The scenery had captured his attention hours ago, and served as a neutral backdrop on which to plan his next steps. 

“If it’s Polly, tell her we can discuss it in the morning. Tell anyone else, that I’m not at home.” Tommy said, his tone came out sounding as distant as his mind felt. 

“The gentleman is rather insistent, sir. He said if you do not speak to him now, that he will come here instead. Although, his language was more colorful than that.” Mary reported, her voice tightening with urgency. Tommy turned on his heel. His icy gaze landing on a visibly nervous Mary. It was immediately apparent to Tommy who ‘he’ was. The blood in his veins ran cold. Before Tommy could decide a next move, Hughes was there to force his hand. It irritated Tommy to no end. He quickly dismissed Mary; needing a moment of silence to compose himself before picking up the phone. 

“You call me at my home.” Tommy’s voice was deathly steady. An early indicator of his extreme displeasure over the entire situation. 

“You left me no choice.” Father Hughes replied in his usual cold, unfeeling tone. Tommy tightened his grip on the the receiver as his frustrations grew. “You will meet me today. Your children’s home will suffice for a location since I intend to serve as their spiritual advisor.” Father Hughes said. Tommy chuckled tightly.

“You think you can just order me around, like some fucking servant boy.” Tommy scoffed, his blood boiling with frustration. 

“Make no mistake, Mr. Shelby. You will be meet me today.” Hughes paused, leaving only the sound of annoying static between them. “If this afternoon is inconvenient for you then you can expect me for dinner this evening. I would relish the opportunity to meet the mysterious, Mrs. Shelby.” Father Hughes said. Tommy’s body instantly shifted from hot to cold. The swift change of direction in the conversation unnerving him more than he cared to admit. 

“I will meet you.” Tommy replied quickly. He would do anything to keep Hughes far away from his wife, even accept to his demeaning invitation. Looking down at his pocket watch, he scrambled to figure out how quickly he could get into Birmingham. “I will meet you at noon.” Tommy confirmed. 

“Very good.” Father Hughes hummed. Blood pounded loudly in Tommy’s head as his grip on the phone neared a crushing crescendo. Slamming the phone back down into the receiver, he took off in search of Rebecca. He found her, along with James and Kathleen by the backdoor. Rebecca was kneeling on the floor in front of Kathleen as she fumbled with the impossibly small buttons on her overcoat. 

“Oh there you are.” Rebecca greeted. Her deep blue eyes only met his for a moment, her attention returning to the buttons on Kathleen’s jacket. “It’s begun to rain, but I think we can brave a bit of rain. They need some time outdoors after being inside so much this past week.” Rebecca rambled on happily. She smiled warmly at Kathleen, who shared a similar joyful expression. The lack of response from Tommy accompanied by his heavy breathing prompted Rebecca to look up at her husband again. He was visibly out of breath, and white with panic. The long strands of his dark hair were askew and hung over his eyes; obscuring his bright blue orbs. Rebecca stood quickly. “What’s wrong?” She asked him in a hushed tone. 

“I have to go to a meeting.” Tommy said, his eyes shifting briefly to look at James and Kathleen. 

“Tommy, what is it?” Rebecca pressed as she placed her hand gently on his arm.

“I have to go now or I’ll be late. Keep James and Kathleen in the house. Keep them where you can see them. Promise me.” Tommy urged. The firmness of his tone unsettled Rebecca to her core. 

“I promise, Tom. I promise. Please, just tell me what’s wrong?” Rebecca pleaded. “Is it the Russians? Are we in danger here?” Rebecca asked in a hushed voice, not wanting the children to hear even a breath about it.

“Yes, it’s them.” Tommy replied. “I have to go.” Tommy said with a fleeting kiss. The drive into the city was agony. Tommy smoked cigarette after cigarette on his way. His mind running over all the conceivable outcomes of this meeting. He wanted to kill the priest… perhaps he still would. There would be men scattered throughout the building working on the renovations. If he’d only had more time. He could have called Arthur or John. Someone loyal who would help him with any task, no matter how bloody, without blinking an eye. In the end, Tommy was forced to accept that there was no other option but to play the priest’s game. 

 

“Ah, Mr. Shelby.” Father Hughes called from the center of the expansive room. Tommy tightened his jaw and did his best not to appear surprised. He closed the door to the main hall behind him, and quickly prepared himself for the ensuing clash. The room was still in a state of restoration. The scaffolding was in place for the workers, and heaps of flooring was stacked up in the corner waiting to be installed. Tommy scanned the room and listened for the sound of nearby workers. He wondered if they were truly alone, or if it was the priest’s orchestration. His own men, or fellow violent members of Section D could be lurking. Watching and waiting to make their move on him. “I wasn’t expecting you for another… twenty minutes.” Father Hughes announced as he glanced at his watch. 

“This is my property,” Tommy remarked before pausing to take a drag of his cigarette. “So it is in fact, myself who should be expecting you.” Tommy snapped, a hint of irritation slipping into his voice. Father Hughes cracked a smile and chuckled at Tommy’s displeasure. 

“I’m sure you are eager to know why I’ve asked you here.” Father Hughes stalked closer, like a hunter approaching his prey. 

“Asked.” Tommy scoffed before he took another drag from his cigarette. Tommy shook his head and envisioned the gratifying feeling of strangling the priest to death. 

“My informants tell me that your prodigal wife has returned home.” Father Hughes continued.

“My wife is none of your concern!” Tommy bellowed, simultaneously tossing his cigarette aside. Tommy couldn’t stop trembling with anger as he raised a pointed finger toward Father Hughes face. “You pay me to act and observe as a soldier. My family was never a part of the deal. How dare you bring my wife into this.” Tommy snapped, his deathly glare never deviating from the priest.

“My job is to ensure you do not deviate from the plans clearly laid before you, Mr. Shelby. There has been concerns voiced-” Father Hughes persisted. 

“Concerns.” Tommy scoffed, his frustration and disbelief surrounding the unfolding conversation continuing to escalate. 

“There are concerns about you wife-” Father Hughes persisted. 

“She’s my wife!” Tommy fired back. 

“Mr. Shelby!” Hughes snapped. Tommy stilled and steadied his dangerous blue eyes on Hughes once again. “You will do exactly what you have been told. You will not deviate from the plan, or your wife will pay the price.” Hughes threatened. Those words were enough to stop Tommy’s thumping heart. Instantly, the dread poured into his veins. He had impulsively lashed out in fear, and in doing so had been blinded to what was so clearly coming. “There are people that I have placed in your life. They will harm the people you love, Mr. Shelby. I need only say the word.” Father Hughes said as he dangled Rebecca’s gold necklace in front of Tommy’s face. 

“Give me the locket.” Tommy demanded, his steady voice successfully concealing the dread clutching his gut. 

“You have one weakness, Mr. Shelby. It is so evident – your family.” Father Hughes scoffed as he gazed at the locket. “You are unafraid to die, which is a unique advantage to me in the current situation. Unfortunately, your lack of fear and utter disregard for authority, has brought the innocent ones in your life to my attention.” Father Hughes smirked with satisfaction at Tommy’s cold glare and clenched jaw. “Perhaps, if something tragic were to happen to one of them… you would be more cooperative.” Hughes said casually, tossing the threat in Tommy’s direction. 

“Are you afraid to die, priest?” Tommy asked, his voice low and steady now. Father Hughes shook his head; a look of disappointment replacing his pleased smirk. 

“This is your final warning, Mr. Shelby. Mark my words, I will have your wife killed. I will destroy your entire family one by one until you are the only one left. Then you will be all alone, and you will have no one else to blame but yourself.” Father Hughes said. Tommy kept his eyes steady on Father Hughes. His heaving chest the only indication that he was still alive. He felt as cold as ice. The fear of losing his family too much for him to bear.

 

The drive home to Warwickshire was anguish. All Tommy could think about was Hughes’s men in the house with his family. The phone call and meeting could have been a distraction. A way to get him out of the house. His family was vulnerable in his absence. Panic stricken, Tommy left the Bentley running in the driveway and ran towards the house. 

“Where are they, Mary? Where are they?” Tommy asked frantically as soon as Mary opened the door. 

“In the nursery, sir. Mr. Shelby, is everything alright?” Mary replied quickly, her concern unmistakable. Tommy passed his housekeeper without another word. He jogged up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He stopped short in the doorway of the nursery. There Rebecca sat, perfectly posed on the floor, with James and Kathleen beside her. She turned to her breathless husband; her joyful expression dissolving rapidly. 

“Tommy…” Rebecca gasped as her heart began to race with fear. She moved to stand, but Tommy raised a hand to stop her. 

“It’s alright.” He struggled to reply as he took a deep breath. He wavered, and leaned heavily on the doorframe. Rebecca ignored his words and stood to help him anyways. 

“Tell me.” Rebecca begged him, her voice firm but gentle. He closed his blue eyes and leaned into her shoulder. Her gentle strength had a calming effect on him. The smell of her perfume and the warmth of her slender fingers grounded him in a way nothing else could. He wrapped her in a tight embrace, further burying himself into her warmth. 

“I need to bring some men from Small Heath, to guard the house.” Tommy said, still breathless with adrenaline. 

“You mean, you’re going to bring the Peaky Blinders? Here? Tommy, why?” Rebecca asked. It pained him to do it, but Tommy lifted his head from her shoulder and stood upright. He pulled her into the hallway and further away from the two pairs of listening ears. 

“Yes. I need men I can trust to keep all of you safe, while I finish the business.” Tommy said. 

“Tommy, what’s happened?” Rebecca demanded, her fears growing by the minute. Slowly, he pulled Rebecca’s gold locket from his pocket and dropped it into her hand. Her deep blue eyes moved from the gold necklace to Tommy’s gaze. “My locket? Where did you find it?” She asked, her face twisting with confusion. It pained Tommy to admit it. The fact that such an intimate item had been stolen was proof of his failure. Failed to keep the Russian business out of the house and away from his family. It seemed that the more he fought to keep them away, the more ways Hughes seemed to find to get in. 

“The priest. He had one of his men take it. From our bedroom.” Tommy explained. Rebecca felt her body grow cold with fear. “He did it to show that he can get to anyone. He’s just trying to show me who has the upper hand.” Tommy said. 

“And who has the upper hand now, Tommy?” Rebecca asked. “Are we even safe here?” Rebecca asked, her thoughts shifting to the little children on the opposite side of the wall. 

“I promise you, I will make you safe.” Tommy said, his big hands gently sliding upwards and cupping her face. Rebecca felt the tears welling in her eyes as her mind continued to run wild with worry. 

“Finish it, Tommy. Please.” Rebecca whispered. The tears slipping slowly from the corner of her eyes and into Tommy’s fingers. “I need some peace.” She begged.

 

Tommy retreated to his office to make a series of phone calls. He remained concealed until the twenty loyal men with razors in their caps arrived just before nightfall. The vault of guns in the basement was opened and handed out with instructions to the men. They would work shifts, guarding Thomas Shelby’s family and the grounds surrounding Arrow House until further notice. The penalty for failing at their assigned task went without saying. Failure was not an option. 

Much to the dismay of Mary, Tommy promptly dismissed all the men working in the house. He vowed that he would not hire any new staff unless he knew their families personally. He would not be bested by a priest who, up to this point, refused to get his hands dirty. Later in the evening, Rebecca beckoned him to come to bed but there would be no rest for his soul. He laid in the darkness beside his wife until he was certain she was asleep. Once her breathing was soft and slow he rose from the bed. He silently slipped on a pair of black trousers and his slightly wrinkled cream undershirt before quietly closing the door. 

He returned to his study, knowing that one of his men was standing guard over his family upstairs. He promptly lit a cigarette and poured himself a whiskey to numb the pain in his head. The stacks of contracts and other papers would be more than enough to keep him awake until morning; but it would do very little to sooth his headache. Despite the aching tired feeling in his bones and his headache, Tommy would not rest. The nightmares loomed too close for his mind to settle. He knew that if he dropped his defenses the demons would surely overtake him. It was well past midnight when he heard the creaking sound of the floorboards outside his office door. Quickly, he dropped his cigarette into the crystal ashtray and set his work aside. He silently pulled a gun from the top drawer of his desk, having forgotten his own revolver upstairs. He made his way toward the door with his gun at the ready. His rapid heartbeat slowly stilled as he prepared his mind for what uncertainty awaited him beyond the door. But before Tommy could move any further the door creaked open and a tangle of red hair emerged in his office. Tommy dropped his gun to his side and sighed with relief. 

“Kathleen, you know you’re supposed to knock before you come in my office.” Tommy greeted her with a mixture of ebbing adrenaline, relief and displeasure. Her green eyes quickly found on the gun he was now attempting to hide at his side. “What are you doing up? It’s late.” Tommy asked, his voice softening slightly. 

“Couldn’t sleep.” She replied quietly. Tommy sighed again. 

“Neither could I.” He agreed. Suddenly, Tommy realized that he had not a clue how to proceed with the current situation. “Come on. You can sit by the fire for a while.” Tommy offered. He didn’t think it was right to turn away the girl when she had sought him out over Rebecca. He did want to get to know the girl after all. It’s just that he never expected it to happen well after midnight, in the middle of a war. Kathleen nodded before moving toward the warmth of the fire. Tommy tucked his gun in his waistband as he followed Kathleen. He sat down on the settee nearest to the fire and promptly lit another cigarette. The sound of the lighter turned Kathleen’s head; her bright green eyes connecting with Tommy’s instantly. “Do you want one?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“I don’t smoke.” Kathleen replied. Tommy shrugged. 

“What about drink?” Tommy asked. 

“I’d get myself smacked if I tried to steal a taste.” She reported. 

“Good girl.” Tommy replied as he exhaled the smoke from his lungs. “You’re too young for any of that.” Tommy said.

“That’s what my dad would say.” Kathleen whispered. Her form visibly shrank inward as she turned those big green eyes back to the flames. 

“What’s that?” Tommy asked gently. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knee. 

“If I kept quiet and didn’t cry when he hit me, he would say that I was a good girl afterwards.” Kathleen said, her voice drifted into the expansiveness of the room. Tommy sucked in a breath of air and held it. Rebecca told him what happened to Kathleen, and he knew exactly how Joseph O’Sullivan met his death. However, it was in that moment that he had to bear the weight of it. 

“I had a father like yours. He rarely came home. When he did, he would always be drunk. No matter what, he would just go after whoever was the closest.” Tommy shook his head; his blue eyes falling to the luscious red carpet beneath his bare feet. “When we were little, my mother took his anger. Then my older brother, Arthur, and I grew up. Then it was our turn to take it when my mother was too poorly to get up out of bed, or when one of the little ones broke something.” Tommy had buried most of the memories of his father and he rarely spoke of the man. He did it because when he did speak of Arthur Sr. he was forced to remember the weight of his heavy fists. “There was no one else to take it for you.” Tommy lifted his head and was surprised to find Kathleen’s teary green eyes staring back at him. His heart whispered the words he wasn’t yet comfortable speaking to the girl – ‘I’m sorry’. “Come here.” He beckoned her to sit next to him. Tenderness was not something that came easily to Tommy Shelby, but he believed strongly in protecting innocent children. A belief that he held onto, even after the war in France. 

“Thank you for taking me in.” Kathleen whispered quietly. Tommy could feel the weight of her shame. He had seen it before in Rebecca. The pain of past decisions was a heavy weight even for adults to bear. It didn’t seem fair for such a small child to carry that same weight. 

“No need.” Tommy replied before taking a long drag from his cigarette. “It may take time for you to adjust to life here, but in time I hope you’ll feel safe here. This is your home now. You’re a Shelby just like the rest of us.” Tommy said in a rare show of emotion. 

“I don’t look like you, or sound like you. No one would believe that I’m a Shelby, not for a second.” Kathleen protested. 

“I never met your mother, but my wife tells me that you are a living image of her. Kathleen,” Tommy gently lifted her face so that she had to look him in the eyes. He hoped somehow, someway that she would understand. “Sarah O’Sullivan will always be your mother. And even though she was taken from this world before your mind was capable of remembering her; there will always be a piece of her that lives on inside of you. I promise that neither Rebecca or I will ever try to replace your mother and father. That’s not why she brought you here.” Tommy said. Kathleen sat deathly still. Her big green eyes staring up at him as she tested his words. “We just want you to be safe.” He assured her.

“Is that why you’ve brought the men with guns into the house? Aunt Rebecca thinks I didn’t see the guns, but I did.” Tommy couldn’t believe the girl’s sharp observation. “I’m not like James. I’m not a baby. I’m nine years old! I see and hear things.” Kathleen announced proudly. Tommy sat back as a wide smile spread across his face. 

“You are more like a Shelby than you know.” Tommy said. 

“Why are the men here?” She pressed.

“To keep the three of you safe.” Tommy replied as he brought the cigarette slowly to his lips. 

“Who’s trying to hurt us?” Kathleen asked curiously. 

“There is a lot of bad out there in the world. Just pick one.” Tommy replied. Kathleen was not the least bit satisfied with Tommy’s cryptic answer, but before she could press him for more details he was on his feet again. “Come on. It’s time you went back to bed. I’ll take you upstairs.” Tommy said. He extinguished his cigarette in the ashtray before turning back to Kathleen. He offered her his hand, which she eyed with a great deal of uncertainty. 

“Like I said, I’m nine. I’m a big girl.” Kathleen replied proudly. Tommy suppressed a soft chuckle under his breath as he watched the red headed girl march proudly to the door. “Aren’t you coming?” She asked. She was looking over her shoulder from the doorway, and Tommy couldn’t help but notice that her bright green eyes were shining in a way he had never seen before. Tommy and Kathleen made their way back upstairs in silence. Both of them feeling secretly pleased with the progress they made during their late night conversation. 

 

Rebecca stirred from her sleep and felt the cool night air settling in the bedroom. She stretched out her hand towards Tommy’s side of the bed, expecting to feel his radiating warmth. Instead, she was met by cold empty sheets. Rebecca shot up from bed, and thankfully the nausea did not awaken with her. She slipped on her robe as she moved to the door; her mind narrowing down where her husband might be. When she opened the door she saw Tommy carefully closing the door to Kathleen’s room. 

“Tom?” Rebecca called from the doorway. It was then that she noticed the broad shouldered peaky blinder who stood just to her left. A large rifle tucked at his side. Her blue eyes shifted back to her husband as she tightened the robe around her body. 

“It’s alright. You can go back to bed. Come on.” Tommy assured her. He motioned her back to bed, and nodded silently to the night guard as he passed. 

“Was Kathleen alright?” Rebecca asked as she moved back toward the bed. She shed her silk robe and draped it on the bed before sitting on the side. 

“Yes, she’s asleep now.” Tommy replied as he sat on the side of the bed. Instead of turning to Rebecca, he sat up on the side of the bed with his eyes focused on the wall. “She came down to my office.” Tommy said. Rebecca looked over her shoulder, but Tommy’s eyes were not there to meet hers.

“And?” Rebecca prompted. 

“She’s smart, Rebecca. She can sense that something is wrong. We have to be more careful around her.” Tommy explained to the darkness. 

“Did you tell her about the Russians, Tommy?” Rebecca pressed, the rising tension in her voice a clear indication of her thoughts on the topic. 

“No.” Tommy replied. He pulled a cigarette from his case and flicked the lighter with his thumb. “But it’s only a matter of time before she finds out just how dangerous it is to be a Shelby.” Tommy said solemnly. 

“Did she say or ask anything else?” Rebecca asked, her voice softening as she turned back to the darkness on her side of the bed. Tommy exhaled a thick cloud of smoke from his lungs and hung his head. 

“I think she can feel the burden of her father’s soul. She’s ashamed. All that religion is playing with her mind.” Tommy brought the cigarette back to his lips and inhaled deeply. He shook his head at the pain burdening the young girl’s mind.

“I thought that if I finished him off… delivered the final blow, that it would somehow be easier for her to overcome. I don’t know why I thought killing the bastard would take the pain of the past away.” Rebecca gulped. Tommy exhaled before looking over his shoulder. 

“Rebecca, you did the right thing.” Tommy whispered. 

“Did he have to die, Tommy?” Rebecca snapped, her teary blue eyes turning quickly to meet his. “Did killing Joseph somehow cancel out all the pain of losing Sarah? Does it erase the fact that he killed his own wife; killed Kathleen’s mother? You know what, Tommy? I don’t think it made one fucking shred of difference.” Rebecca cried with anger. The hot tears streamed down her face as the anger, frustration, and grief flooded her soul all over again. “Killing Joseph O’Sullivan didn’t take away anyone’s pain, it only transferred the burden to me.” Rebecca covered her face with her hands and hung her head. 

“Hey, hey.” Rebecca heard Tommy’s raspy voice whispering over her shoulder before she felt his warm arms wrap around her. “You did what you had to do to make sure Kathleen was safe. If you left Joseph O’Sullivan alive, there would be a looming threat hanging over this family. It’s done now. He’s dead. Gone. Don’t let the souls of your enemy weight you down.” Tommy spoke softly in Rebecca’s ear. Rebecca squeezed her eyes shut and allowed Tommy’s words to soak in. 

“He might have drank himself into an early grave in a few years, if I’d let him live.” Rebecca protested. Tommy shook his head. 

“Stop. This thinking will drive you mad, Rebecca.” Tommy told her. 

“I’m not strong like you, Tom.” Rebecca cried. 

“Yes, you are.” Tommy said as he tightened his hold on her. “You’re Rebecca Shelby. You’re strong; I know you are.” Tommy assured her. Rebecca sniffled as her tears slowed.

“I need some peace.” She whispered.

“I know… We could all use a bit of peace, eh.” Tommy agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for disappearing off the face of the earth. Hope this chapter helps make up for my long absence.


	10. Dangerous Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time’s up for Rebecca. Tommy loses control of his life and business. A sinister plan is put into action.

Dangerous Encounters 

The news of Arthur Shelby Sr. passing did not come as a surprise to Thomas Shelby. The small slip of paper with elegant scripted handwriting from an unknown woman in America explained exactly how his father finally met his end. In truth, Tommy considered it amazing that his father managed to survive so long. Arthur Sr.’s constant scheming behavior was bound to catch up with him. Tommy’s shoulders went slack and the thin slip of paper floated to the floor. The man who made his living off the fortune and misfortune of others had finally met his end. When he told Rebecca the news, he insisted that there would be no tears shed; or any other outward displays of grief over a man he considered dead for years now. He had been a terrible father, and abandoned the family when times were grim. He decided that he would tell all of the Shelby men when they were out on the hunt on Sunday. It was an outing that Tommy arranged for the purpose of explaining his plan for the robbery, but they would be all together already so it seemed to make sense. The robbery was the top priority, Tommy reminded himself. He would repeat the phrase over and over to himself in his head for the next week, until Sunday arrived. 

 

With Tommy out with the rest of the Shelby men, Rebecca decided she would take the children out for a walk on their quiet Sunday. Mary happily agreed to help prepare the children, while Rebecca wrapped her overcoat around her expanding middle. Her time of keeping secrets was running out. She figured that she was at least four months now. It was becoming more challenging to hide the obvious bump under her current wardrobe. She asked Mary to find her some sweaters to wear, in hopes that they would disguise her expanding bump. Mary suspected something was amiss when Rebecca’s monthly cycle did not arrive after her return. But Mary never gave voice to her suspicions, and Rebecca was grateful for that small grace. 

“Mrs. Shelby, are you expecting anyone?” Mary asked as she moved back the curtains to get a better visual on the approaching car. Rebecca’s back stiffened and she quickly moved to the window. It was then that the black car emerged from the mist as it barreled up the gravel drive.

“It’s alright, Mary. Would you please take the children down to the kitchen? I think they need something warm before we go out.” Rebecca said, and at the same time she gave Mary a firm stare. It was the kind of look that told the older woman not to waste time asking questions. Mary took Kathleen and James by the hand as she directed them downstairs to the kitchen. Rebecca hurried into Tommy’s office and pulled open the secret door; revealing a closet full of weapons. Big and small, she had her pick of the lot. She pulled out what she was most comfortable with, a small Smith and Wesson. Rebecca loaded the gun as she hurried back towards the front door, dropping a few bullets on the carpet behind her. She threw open the door and hurried down the steps just as the driver cut off the engine. Rebecca’s chest heaved as she pulled in a few desperate deep breaths. Who was driving the car? Was it the Russians? Should she pull the trigger or hold her fire? Much to Rebecca’s surprise the driver was an elegant, slender dark haired woman. Her deep red lips tugged upwards as she approached the house. 

“Stop!” Rebecca shouted as she finally lifted her arm and aimed the gun at the approaching woman. “Who are you? Why are you here?” Rebecca asked, using all her strength to stop her voice from wavering with fear. The woman stopped a few feet away from Rebecca. Her dark expression conveying just how amusing the current situation was to her. 

“I am _Duchess _Tatiana Petrovna.” Tatiana purposefully punctuated the word Duchess in an attempt to assert her dominance. Rebecca’s heart pounded rapidly inside her chest as Tatiana’s Russian accent floated into her ears. Tatiana’s dark eyes danced with delight at the chaos her presence seemed to be causing. “I am here to see, Mr. Thomas Shelby. We are well acquainted.” She added casually as she took a few more steps. Rebecca glared at the woman while her gun followed the moving target.__

____

____

“Well, Miss. Petrovna, I ask that you conduct your business at the proper place and time. You can call his secretary on Monday to set a meeting.” Rebecca said, her teeth grinding together with anger. Tatiana chuckled wickedly and her smile only grew. Her dark eyes latched onto Rebecca as she took another step closer. 

“It seems to me… Mrs. Shelby that like your husband, you do not know how to act around a Duchess. You may call me the Grand Duchess Tatiana Petrovna.” Tatiana replied with a dark glare. The two women locked eyes, neither one liking or trusting the other in the least. “I have waited such a long time to meet you.” She said, her dark lips curling up. 

“Sorry I can’t say the same about you.” Rebecca snapped. Tatiana licked her lips to disguise her displeasure.

“I can see now why your husband was so eager to spend the night with me… and I have no doubt that he will eagerly accept my invitation again.” Tatiana said. After all, Tatiana had always been a lover of chaos. In that moment, it was obvious to Rebecca that Tommy Shelby was just a form of sport to the young Russian royal. If Tommy hadn’t already told Rebecca the whole story, Tatiana’s words would have cut deep into Rebecca’s fragile soul. Instead, her words only fueled Rebecca’s rage. 

“I am aware of the night you spent with my husband. He tells me everything because I am his _wife _.” Rebecca replied, her response quick and words sharp. Rebecca lowered her weapon and slowly closed the gap between herself and Tatiana. The smaller of the two, Rebecca squared her shoulders and leaned closer to appear bigger. “I can see what you are trying to do here, Duchess. You think you can come here; come into my home, and bring all your Russian madness along with you. Not a chance!” Rebecca shook her head at Tatiana’s foolishness. “Don’t you ever forget who you are dealing with. I am the wife of Thomas Shelby, the mother to his son. You would be wise to remember that it is I who hold the power here, Duchess.” Rebecca spat Tatiana’s royal title back in her face. The pair would have remained locked in their positions if it weren’t for the sound of approaching horses. They both took a step back and allowed the cold air to sweep in between them.__

__“I thought you said your business was with a foolish man?” Michael asked Tommy as they neared the house._ _

__“More like the man’s fucking insane niece.” Arthur added._ _

__“Insanely beautiful.” John corrected his eldest brother. Tommy ignored his brother’s banter and quickly dismounted his horse. He surveyed the scene as he marched forward. Rebecca’s beautiful dark brown hair was stuck to her face from the heavy rain and her deep blue eyes were hardened with anger. It was clear that Tatiana and Rebecca had exchanged some sharp words already. His eyes drifted down, and it was at that moment that Tommy noticed the gun in Rebecca’s hand._ _

__“Rebecca, go inside. Now please.” Tommy ordered firmly. His wife did not move or even look up at him. Rebecca’s dark blue eyes remained fixed on Tatiana’s. Her hatred for the woman radiating from her body. “Rebecca.” Finally, she looked up into her husband’s bright blue eyes. Rebecca was about to turn and go inside but Tatiana’s next statement kept her feet firmly planted._ _

__“Before you go, Mrs. Shelby. I would like to personally invite you to join us for dinner.” Tatiana’s words made Tommy’s heart stop. Tatiana pulled out a crisp white envelope from her handbag and held it gracefully between two fingers. She came to invite Tommy, John, and Arthur; but the opportunity to further dig into the mysterious Rebecca Shelby was too tempting for Tatiana to pass by. Tommy’s eyes moved from Rebecca to John and Arthur, who were both quickly approaching. “You may bring your wives too, if you wish.” Tatiana said as she turned swiftly to speak to Arthur and John._ _

__“I’m afraid mine won’t be able to join us.” Arthur replied quickly, unwilling to risk Linda’s safety. Especially now in her delicate condition._ _

__“Mine too. She don’t like to go out much these days.” John replied. He could use a night out, he thought to himself. A night without screaming kids or an irritable pregnant wife; it seemed to be a golden opportunity to let off some steam._ _

__“It would be my pleasure.” Rebecca replied as she plucked the envelope out of Tatiana’s hand. Tommy bristled as he watched the two women interact. He knew he had to figure out exactly what was said between the women, and fast. He feared what weaknesses Rebecca may have exposed without realizing. A dangerous mistake that Tommy knew all too well._ _

__“I will be in touch, Mr. Shelby.” Tatiana said as she placed her hand gently on Tommy’s chest. Her eyes swept up to meet his as her voice dropped into a seductive vibrato. “We have matters to discuss.” She whispered before she returned to her car and left. The roar of the motor car startled a few horses, which only made Tommy feel more uneasy about the entire situation. Rebecca’s cold blue eyes watched as the car disappeared down the driveway. The cold autumn rain poured down, but her body was still hot with rage. She lifted her arm up and pointed the Smith and Wesson into the air before firing off a single shot. All of the men spun around, only to find Rebecca already halfway up the steps._ _

__

__Tommy tried and failed to convince Rebecca not to attend the dinner with the Russians. He insisted that it was not necessary. That it was just a game to them. They claimed that they needed to vet John and Arthur before proceeding with the robbery, but Tommy knew Tatiana only wanted to mess with Rebecca’s head. He pointed out that it was dangerous, but Rebecca would hear none of it._ _

__

__On Wednesday, Tommy went into the office but promised to be home around lunch. He only informed Mary that he planned to have an afternoon meeting with a certain gangster from London, so Rebecca was surprised when she found a strange man waiting in her drawing room._ _

__“Oh, hello.” Rebecca stopped in her tracks. As the tall man turned from the window, Rebecca noticed that he required a cane. A fact that she found strangely reassuring in the current circumstances._ _

__“I take it, you are Rebecca Shelby.” The man said as he moved to greet her. He took her small hand in his large one, and kissed it gently. His movements were calculated, and he took care to maintain eye contact with her the entire time. Rebecca forced a smile, but felt uncertain if this was all meant to intimidate her. “It is a pleasure to meet you. The name is Solomons, but you can call me Alfie if you like.” He said as he dropped her hand. “When I have asked Tommy about you, he always refused to tell me anything about his mysterious wife. Except once when he let it slip that you are Irish, and the fact that you are far too beautiful for the likes of him. Now… I know that he wasn’t lying to me. Never know with the likes of Tommy, eh?” The man said as he straightened to his impressive height._ _

__“Yes…” Rebecca stalled, unsure of exactly who she was dealing with. Tommy did business with bad men, the last thing she wanted was to put herself or anyone else in the family at risk. “I assume you are one of his business associates.” Rebecca ventured a guess._ _

__“Yeah, Tommy and I did some business together.” The man hummed as he stroked his beard. “Now for some reason… he thinks that he has the power to summon up Jews to this unholy land.” The man said, his tone full of displeasure._ _

__“Alfie,” Tommy greeted as he entered the room. He quickly covered up his uneasiness at finding Alfie Solomons and his wife alone in conversation. He placed a protective hand on Rebecca’s back as he came to join them in the center of the room. Tommy’s emotionless mask once again in place._ _

__“Tommy, you did not tell me that your wife was so stunning. I mean look at her. She’s fucking glowing, mate.” Alfie said as he motioned to Rebecca’s face. This brought a slight pink hue to Rebecca’s face and a smile to her lips. Tommy nodded in agreement as he motioned Alfie towards his office._ _

__“Yeah, too good for the likes of me that’s for certain. Let’s wait for the others in here, shall we?” Tommy said as he and Alfie entered his office. Tommy looked back at Rebecca before closing the door, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Arthur, John, Michael, and Johnny Dogs soon appeared from the kitchen downstairs. It seemed to Rebecca that between Tommy’s soldiers and the rest of his family, the house was never empty. After recovering from the shock, nobody seemed to mind that Rebecca had disappeared for three months and came home with a nine year old child. Thankfully, Polly had yet to make an appearance at Arrow House. Rebecca knew that she would have to tell Tommy about the baby, or Polly would._ _

__

__Father Hughes sat down in the pew behind the other priest. It was barely day break, which meant the church was still entirely empty._ _

__“I heard you have some information for me. Something about a voice in the confessional.” Hughes prompted._ _

__“Yes. A woman with the last name Shelby spoke about a plan to kill a holy man. I thought you should know.” The priest explained._ _

__“It was right for you to contact me.” Hughes agreed. “Now, tell me exactly what the woman said.” He urged._ _

__Father Hughes listened intently to every word, and when he stood to leave his mind instantly began formulating exactly how he would kill Rebecca Shelby. Surprisingly, the plan came rather quickly to him. He walked to the end of the street to the nearest phone box, not wanting to use his own phone line._ _

__“Hello,” Tatiana’s rich voice echoed in._ _

__“I have a message for you.” Hughes announced. There was no longer a need for introductions between them. His accent was enough to make his identify known to the young woman._ _

__“I’m listening.” She said as she played with the phone cord._ _

__“Rebecca Shelby is pregnant.” Hughes announced. Tatiana stiffened and leaned a hand heavily on the table._ _

__“And why are you telling me this?” Tatiana asked, the news coming as an unwelcomed surprise._ _

__“I heard that she has accepted your invitation for dinner. I need you to keep her husband occupied.” Hughes explained._ _

__“What did you have in mind?” Tatiana asked, her voice lightening with devilish delight._ _

__“What you choose to do with your own time is your concern, just keep him busy. Leave the rest to me.” Hughes replied. Tatiana’s mind ran wild with devious ideas for Tommy. Of course, it would not be easy. He would not willingly go to bed with her when his wife had mysteriously disappeared, and now that she was home it was guaranteed to be more challenging. She would have to find some way of motivating Thomas Shelby to cooperate._ _

__“I’m certain I can think of something.” Tatiana replied._ _

__“Good.” Hughes said before hanging up the phone and stepping into the pouring rain._ _

__

__By the time Friday arrived, Rebecca was ready to face the Russians. She openly welcomed the opportunity to throw dirty looks and off handed remarks at Tatiana; however, Tommy strongly cautioned her against provoking the Duchess. For the evening Rebecca selected a heavily beaded emerald green silk dress with a waterfall hemline. There was no cinching at the waist, which kept her bump well disguised under the flowing sea of beads. Before Tommy helped Rebecca into the Bentley he tried one last time to convince her to stay at home. Tommy internally groaned when his wife refused to see reason, yet again. As they drove toward Hampton Court Palace with John and Arthur; Tommy mentally prepared himself for his wife to be thrown into the thick of it. Like a true soldier, he had run through every conceivable bad outcome. Having a plan did not help the man feel any more at ease with the uncertainty surrounding the evening._ _

__They were greeted by a long line of Cossack guards and Tatiana, dressed in a slinky red dress and an elaborate diamond headpiece. Her dark red lips curled into a smirk as she welcomed them inside. To everyone’s surprise they were immediately ushered into an office, except Tommy. He was quick to jump into an explanation of the Russian tradition that was about to take place. To make his brothers feel more comfortable, Tommy even mentioned that he had also been inspected by Tatiana._ _

__“They just need to check your skin.” Tommy said, as if it was a simple request. Rebecca’s back stiffened from her seat on the windowsill. On her left she could see Tatiana and her aunt Izabella waiting eagerly to conduct the humiliating inspection. While John and Arthur wore shocked expressions. Rebecca buried her face in her silk white gloves, unable to fathom what was taking place. This is insane, Rebecca repeated the phrase over and over in her head. Tommy told her they loved to fuck with people just for entertainment, but this was beyond her comprehension. She lifted her head from her hands when she felt Tommy’s presence beside her. He was lighting a cigarette as a momentary distraction from what was happening in front of him. Arthur protested the inspection and nearly stormed out of the room. Tommy promptly stepped forward and spoke quietly to him in Romany. The opposite of his elder brother, John proudly and eagerly stripped off layer after layer. Just as John was preparing to pull down his pants, Rebecca looked down at the floorboards; not feeling the least bit interested in receiving an eye full of John or Arthur. She listened in horror as Tatiana’s silky voice taunted Arthur, but she couldn’t bring herself to look up. “Alright. I think we’ve seen enough.” Tommy said as he moved back towards Tatiana and Izabella to break up the interaction._ _

__“No, not just yet.” Tatiana said as she turned. Tatiana’s dark eyes shifted down to Rebecca’s bowed head. “Mrs. Shelby.” Rebecca’s back stiffened as the blood in her veins ran cold. Surely, they wouldn’t ask her to participate in the same humiliating examination as John and Arthur; or at least she thought. “Please,” Tatiana motioned for Rebecca to stand even though Rebecca had yet to look up from the floor. Tommy glared at Tatiana._ _

__“That won’t be necessary. My wife is merely a guest tonight. She will have no part in the events on the allotted day.” Tommy protested as he stepped closer to Tatiana and Izabella._ _

__“She is here, so it can be assumed she is not entirely uninformed of the situation.” Tatiana countered. John and Arthur began dressing as Rebecca lifted her pale face._ _

__“No.” Tommy demanded, attempting to keep his composure. “She is my wife and she will be treated with respect.” Tommy said, his cold eyes narrowing in on Tatiana._ _

__“I could call for my husband to conduct the examination. I’m certain that he would be able to perused your wife to comply with the request.” Izabella commented casually as she moved from the periphery of the room. Tommy looked between Tatiana and Izabella in disbelief. He quickly realized that they were serious about conducting the examination and that they would call for the Grand Duke as a way of forcing Rebecca to comply. Tommy turned to Rebecca who was still perched on the windowsill, looking more pale by the minute._ _

__“Listen to me,” Tommy whispered as he knelt in front of her. He took her face in his hands and made her look him in the eye. “I won’t ask you to do this. You can just walk out the door if you want. I’ll deal with the consequences. This is just about them feeling like they have power over us.” Tommy explained quietly._ _

__“Tommy, I have to tell you something.” Rebecca whispered with tears brimming in her eyes._ _

__“Mrs. Shelby, if you please.” Izabella beckoned firmly. Rebecca looked up at the two waiting women then back to Tommy. There was no warmth in either of their eyes. If they had any compassion, they would never ask another woman to undress for such a demeaning reason._ _

__“I’m sorry.” She whispered as she moved to the center of the room. Arthur and John coughed uncomfortably from the corner of the room. Both looked down at the carpet out of respect for their sister in law. Rebecca took a deep breath before she slipped the emerald green dress over her head and tossed it on the floor beside her. She focused her eyes on the wall in front of her, refusing to look at either women or her husband._ _

__“Please continue, Mrs. Shelby.” Tatiana said. Rebecca ground her back teeth together and fought against the urge to strangle Tatiana. It took some work, but she eventually removed the remainder of her undergarments until she was left standing in her bare feet. She straightened her back and held her head high. Silently she prayed that no one would say anything about the obvious swell of her belly. Tatiana stepped in front of her, which forced Rebecca to stare into her dark eyes. She couldn’t see Izabella anymore as she had disappeared behind her. Tatiana reached out and placed her hand on Rebecca’s belly. “Have you felt the child move inside of you?” She asked. Rebecca clenched her fists at her sides, unable to do much more than glare at Tatiana. Tommy stood abruptly from his seat as the tension in the room swelled to new heights._ _

__“No.” Rebecca replied tightly through her clenched jaw. Tatiana smiled wickedly at Rebecca before turning to Tommy, who wore a look of utter shock and disbelief._ _

__“Go ahead, take a look for yourself.” Tatiana encouraged him. Tommy stormed over to his wife and quickly wrapped his long black overcoat around her shoulders. Rebecca pulled it closed around her naked body, wishing that the whole humiliating experience would be over._ _

__“Enough!” He shouted at Tatiana, but she only smirked at his anger. It was obvious that Tatiana was pleased with Tommy’s reaction._ _

__“Let us drink vodka.” Izabella said, before she moved to exit the room. Tommy nodded Arthur and John to go with Izabella and Tatiana, while he stayed with Rebecca. Once the door was closed, Tommy looked down at Rebecca with a broken expression._ _

__“You came here tonight, and you knew you were pregnant.” Tommy’s anger rose to the surface faster than his disappointment could._ _

__“Yes,” Rebecca replied quietly. The examination had been humiliating enough, but being reprimanded by her husband was insult to injury._ _

__“Why didn’t you tell me? Why risk keeping it secret? You know, I never would have let you come here tonight if I had known.” Tommy ranted, his blue eyes turned cold. A tear slid out of the corner of Rebecca’s eye; Tommy’s harsh tone being too much for her to handle amongst all of her other emotions._ _

__“I wanted to tell you. I swear. The timing never felt right. I wanted to wait for this business to be done.” Rebecca’s voice wavered as the tears built in her eyes. Tommy scoffed._ _

__“I can’t deal with this right now.” Tommy said as he rubbed his hands over his face. “Put your clothes on.” Tommy said just before he slammed the door. Rebecca wiped the tears from her face with a trembling hand; her chest aching over her husband’s harsh words. He was right, she told herself as she slipped her clothes back into place. It was her fault._ _

__Dinner was tense and dessert was overwhelming. Tommy sat beside his wife, but never looked at nor spoke to her. Across from Tommy, Tatiana smirked into her wine glass as the tensions rose between the couple. The evening was going perfectly for her. Arthur, now riddled with guilt, was drowning his misery in all the alcohol he could find. John enjoyed stealing looks at the maids as they served the meal and drinks that followed. When they moved to the sitting room, Rebecca was horrified at the open sexual displays that unfolded in front of her. Tommy sat next to her on the settee with his arm draped behind her, but his eyes were fixed on the wall. The only movements he made involved his cigarettes or whiskey. Neither one of them had said so much as a word since before dinner._ _

__“This is disgusting, Tommy.” Rebecca finally broke the silence._ _

__“I’m told all the maids are whores. Izabella only employs the best.” Tommy replied._ _

__“I can’t sit here and watch this anymore. I want to go home.” Rebecca said as she stood to her feet. Tommy tilted his head and glared at his wife._ _

__“You wanted to come, even when I asked you not to. This is part of doing business with these people, so sit down.” Tommy told her firmly. Rebecca scoffed and rolled her eyes, before storming out of the room. Tommy internally groaned. From her spot by the fire, Tatiana watched the couple part ways. “Rebecca! Come back here!” Tommy demanded as he followed Rebecca down the hall. Her smile slipped when Tommy went after Rebecca, but she suspected that enough damage had been done. With enough alcohol, she would be able to easily prey on Tommy’s weaknesses._ _

__“No!” Rebecca protested. Tommy caught up to her and stopped her by the arm, quickly spinning her around to look him in the eye._ _

__“There is still business to be done.” Tommy said, his tone dark and firm._ _

__“There’s always business, Tommy. And maybe I could tolerate sitting in that room with all the filthy whores and drugs, but not with you like this.” Rebecca countered._ _

__“Like what?” Tommy scoffed._ _

__“You’re angry! I can tell and so can everyone else. You wouldn’t speak to me, or look at me during dinner. Have you stopped to think about how humiliating that was for me? I played along for you and your business.” Rebecca snapped, her anger overflowing as tears._ _

__“Do you have any idea how you made me look today? My wife is pregnant, and I didn’t even know about it. Do you know what that looks like to other people? What is feels like?” Tommy countered. Rebecca glared into Tommy’s cold blue eyes as the tears slowly slid down her cheeks. “The more I think about this whole situation, it makes me wonder if you weren’t keeping this secret for another reason.” Tommy continued._ _

__“Don’t you dare, Thomas.” Rebecca said through her teeth._ _

__“Is it even mine?” Tommy asked, his expression cold and distant now. Rebecca tried to pull away from him, but Tommy only tightened his grip on her arm. “You disappear for three months and come back pregnant. Were you just bidding yourself enough time to pass the bastard off as mine?” Tommy roared with anger. Rebecca slapped him hard across his face, unable to stand his hurtful words any longer. It was enough to stun him into letting go of her arm._ _

__“Of course the baby is yours, you daft bastard.” Rebecca replied before turning on her heel and marching down the hallway. She left him standing there holding his stinging face, his pride bruised badly. He sighed as he pulled out his pocket watch and looked at the time. It was time to select the jewels from the treasury. He knew that Alfie couldn’t be trusted alone with the Russians for long. The man was far too volatile of a personality. He decided that he would have to sort out his marital problems after selecting his large sum of jewels._ _

__Rebecca hastily threw open the door and ran down the stone path in front of Hampton Court Palace. She had to get far away from the Russians and Tommy. Tommy’s wounding words were too painful to contain inside of herself, so she allowed the tears to stream freely down her face. She climbed into the front seat of the Bentley and quickly turned the key. It had been quite some time since she’d driven a car, but in the current circumstances Rebecca really didn’t care. She shifted the car into gear and turned the car toward Warwickshire._ _

__Rebecca quickly lost all sense of time as she drove. She had no idea how long she had been driving. The only gauge she had was her tears, which had finally slowed from the sobs that wracked her body when she first left Hampton Court. She prayed she was close to home, then the hellish night could finally come to an end. When she turned right onto the next road, she noticed two bright lights in her mirror. Lifting a hand to shield her eyes, Rebecca managed to sneak another look at fast approaching car behind her. The lights behind her were so bright that it made it difficult to see the road in front of her, but the unsettled feeling deep in her stomach told her not to slow down. Then she spotted the warm glow of Arrow House a ways up on the hill. She was certain that she could make it. Shifting up another gear, Rebecca raced down the narrow gravel road. She felt the jolting force as the bright light engulfed the car. The car careened onto its side and rolled into the grassy ditch. The sound of glass shattering punctuated the overwhelming screeching noise of metal twisting around her. Rebecca was powerless to brace herself as she was bounced by the force of the tumbling car. The pain was immense and overwhelming as her forehead collided with the steering wheel, then her body knocking into the door, followed by the final blow to her head on the windscreen. Dazed and confused, Rebecca blinked as the bright light threatened to blind her. Everything around her was sharp and hard as stone all at the same time. She tried to lift her head, but only a desperate groan emerged from her lips. She closed her eyes to shield them from the bright light bleeding into the night. Very little was making sense in her mind, but the last thing she remembered was the warmth of blood oozing from her body._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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